


Silver and Bone

by walkalittleline



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Knotting, M/M, Mild Blood, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-19
Updated: 2013-10-12
Packaged: 2017-12-12 06:41:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 45,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/808483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/walkalittleline/pseuds/walkalittleline
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Kurt goes to Dalton Academy to spy on the New Directions' competition for Sectionals, he isn't expecting to meet Sebastian Smythe, and he certainly isn't expecting him to change him the way he does, inside and out.</p><p>(Season 2 AU; Sebastian is the same age as Kurt)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written a multi-chaptered kurtbastian fic before but this idea kind of struck me and I wanted to give it a shot. I have the first five chapters completely finished, so I'm hoping to post once a week, probably on Saturdays. I hope you enjoy!

He can feel the pull of the moon strong in his blood, heady and beguiling even a week before it’s full. The steady thrum of his paws on the forest floor is soft against the thick loam as he lopes through the trees, silvery moonlight catching the leaves already wet with dew, the scent crisp and fresh in his nostrils, mingling with that of the pond he knows is just through the trees ahead of him.

He knows he shouldn’t be out this late in the night, that the sun will be rising in a few hours and he’ll no longer have the cover of darkness to keep him safe. Not that he’s really safe in the first place. He’s in the middle of nowhere, but the city is still less than twenty miles away. Though he’s never encountered anyone other than a few random hunters in the winter, he still knows he’s never truly safe, not like this.

The wind is cool and freeing in his fur, passing easily through his lungs with each heavy breath he sucks through his nostrils. He catches the smell of something, rabbit maybe, on the breeze and nearly veers off. He stops himself, though, shaking away the animal instinct that rears up inside him and continuing silently onward.

He breaks the treeline and slides easily to a halt at the edge of the small pond on the other side, pausing to lap quietly at the surface for a moment before trodding along the bank until he reaches the spot he’s looking for, his spot, where he’s come for nearly six months, where two pine trees have grown crookedly, their branches tangling together to form a small shelter of sorts beneath which he’d spent a week’s worth of nights piling soft pine boughs into a makeshift bed, digging out the inside so the ground is smooth, flat earth.

He pads to the back of the little den, scuffing around in the dirt with his paws until he finds what he’s looking for, a small, stuff dog buried under a thin layer of soft soil. It’s torn and filthy and he knows no other animal will find any use for it, but he still feels protective of it, being his only company on the nights he needs to let his wolf roam and run.

Taking the toy in his mouth, he tosses it in the air a few times, batting it around playfully and growling as he shakes hard. Huffing and sneezing, he scoops it back up, flopping down on the pine branches and gnawing absently at one of the torn ears. He gets bored after a minute or two, tucking the dog carefully under his chin and resting his head on his paws with a heavy sigh.

He can see the moonlight gleaming brightly over the surface of the pond outside, the water rippling gently. He roos quietly, not a howl, not when he knows he could attract attention, just a low, mournful sound that makes his chest ache with loneliness. He’d tried, for a full week he’d tried to call for someone else like him when he’d first come here, but he’s long since given up and succumb to solidarity. It wasn’t that he hadn’t expected it where he ended up, but it still hurts, he still longs for a pack to call his own even as he tells himself he doesn’t really need anyone else, that he’s done fine on his own for three years.

Predictably, there’s no response to his cry beyond the whisper-soft rustle of the trees and steady lap-lap of the water outside. He lets his eyes drift close and shifts deeper into the bedding, curling up into a ball and covering his snout with his tail, ears perked up and straining against the silence for the sound of something he knows will never be there.

* * *

 

Dalton Academy is huge.

When Puck first suggested that Kurt spy on the Warblers for Sectionals, Kurt had taken the out to visit the school and see what it was like. He knew it was just a pipe dream, his father would never be able to afford Dalton, but it’s still nice to imagine what it would be like going to a school that actually focuses on academics rather than how many touchdowns the football team can make. Plus, anywhere that doesn’t have Karofsky and Azimio is good in his eyes.

Now that he’s actually in the school, however, surrounded by boys in red and blue blazers who all look like Abercrombie and Fitch models, he’s a little too awestruck to remember exactly why he came there in the first place. Everything is ornate and intricate and so obviously expensive he’s almost afraid to even walk across the gleaming marble floors.

The rest of the boys are chattering excitedly around him, moving towards the large spiral staircase on the other side of the hall, and Kurt quickly falls in step behind two of them, hands clutched tight around the strap of his bag.

He keeps close to the wrought iron banister, allowing the crowd to move around him as he steps carefully down the stairs, trying--and surely failing by the way he’s vibrating with nerves and gaping at everything--not to look too out of place. He hesitates for a split second before reaching out and tapping the boy passing down the stairs in front of him on the shoulder.

The boy turns, green eyes sweeping over Kurt’s clothes before lifting to his face. He’s taller than Kurt, and even with the difference of the stair between them, he’s still nearly meeting Kurt’s eye. He’s dressed in a Dalton uniform like the rest, though the knot of his tie is loosened and the top button of his shirt is undone, brown hair artfully tousled in a way Kurt has never been able to achieve with his own before.

“Hi, um, can I ask you a question?” Kurt says. “I’m new here.”

The boy lifts an eyebrow, one corner of his lips curving up in a smirk.

“No you’re not,” he says, shaking his head.

“I--yes I am,” Kurt says nervously.

The boy chuckles, leaning against the railing, the crowd shifting around the both of them on the stairs.

“Really?” he says with a doubtful glance at Kurt’s jacket and boots. “I must have missed the memo about them letting students from the girls' academy in today.”

Kurt bristles indignantly, nostrils flaring and fingers tightening around the strap of his bag.

“Excuse me,” he grits out, annoyance and embarrassment prickling up his spine when the boy’s sneer widens.

“Don’t get your panties in a knot, babe,” he says. “I know Dalton looks like a palace compared to whatever public school cesspool you wandered out of. Probably like a vacation for you.”

“I don’t--you--how do you know I even go to public school,” Kurt splutters evasively.

The boy’s eyes darken a little, nostrils twitching and fingers jumping at his sides like he’s stopping himself from grabbing something. Kurt swears his eyes flash oddly bright, though when he leans away warily, the boy is grinning again and he attributes it to a trick of the light.

“Well, you don’t go here,” the boy says, “And, honestly, you reek of mediocrity.”

Kurt nearly growls in response, though before he gets a chance to retort, there’s another boy at their side, blond hair sweeping over his eyes.

“Sebastian, c’mon,” he says, tugging at the sleeve of the first boy’s blazer. “Everyone’s already down there.” He stops, looking at Kurt with mild surprise. “Oh...hello. Are you coming, too?”

“You should come,” the boy, Sebastian, says, looking at Kurt again. “If you want to see what a real show choir looks like performing.”

Kurt frowns in confusion, glancing at the blond boy, who looks just as nonplussed. Sebastian turns and heads down the stairs without another word, gesturing for the other boy to follow.

Kurt chews his lip in consideration before following after them, keeping a few steps behind so he can continue to drink in the decor. When they round the corner, he can already hear the sound of soft humming and singing. When he reaches the open doors from which the sounds are coming, Sebastian looks back at Kurt, smirking smugly before joining in; to Kurt’s annoyance, he has an incredible voice.

He reluctantly follows him into the room, glaring from the corner as he watches Sebastian and the rest of the Warblers perform a perfectly synchronized rendition of I Want You Back. He can’t help but flush angrily every time Sebastian catches his eye, smirking and winking, and Kurt would feel oddly flattered by the strange display of exhibitionism if not for the fact that he highly doubts Sebastian is trying to show off for the sake of impressing him more than he is for the sake of proving that he’s better than him. The thought makes Kurt even more annoyed and by the time Sebastian is finished, he’s grinding his teeth so hard his jaw hurts.

“Well?” Sebastian says confidently, leaning against the wall, hands in his pockets, and surveying Kurt smugly.

“I’m surprised you managed to get off the ground high enough for that flip with your massive ego weighing you down,” Kurt snaps haughtily.

Sebastian lets out a bark of laughter, eyes bright with amusement.

“How do you even know I’m in a show choir?” Kurt says, ignoring the way his stomach twists when Sebastian slips off his blazer and tugs the knot of his tie looser to expose the skin of his throat, the line of his Adam’s apple gleaming with a thin sheen of sweat.

“You’re not the only one who can spy on the competition, babe. It’s Kurt, right?” Sebastian says, the room clearing around them. “Though I suggest next time you do it, you actually take the time to make sure you’re wearing the right uniform rather than dressing like you belong in a leather bar.”

Kurt gapes at him, mouth opening and closing mutely.

“Right, well, if we’re done here,” Sebastian says dismissively, hooking his blazer over his shoulder and turning to leave.

“Wait.”

Kurt grabs Sebastian’s arm and several things happen in quick succession, Sebastian rounds on him with a snarl, pushing him up against the wall, hands gripping the lapels of Kurt’s blazer; his eyes flash like they had on the stairway, though there’s no glare of sunlight to blame it on this time. Kurt gasps when his back makes contact with the wall, throat working as he swallows anxiously.

He sees Sebastian’s eyes drop down to follow the movement, breath blowing hotly over Kurt’s face. He licks his lips, eyes dark and hungry when they lift to meet Kurt’s again. He blinks suddenly, something in his eyes clearing, and his hands yank away from Kurt’s blazer like he’s been burnt. He shakes his head a little and takes a step back, frowning at his own hands.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” he says, dragging his hand through his hair. “I didn’t mean to--you scared me.”

Kurt straightens his blazer with trembling fingers, heart still pounding nervous adrenaline through his veins.

“I’m sorry,” Sebastian repeats, looking vaguely desperate. “Shit, um... let me buy you coffee or something, okay?”

“You want... to buy me coffee?” Kurt says slowly.

Sebastian gives him a guilty, lopsided smile, so far from the cocky smirk he’d been wearing not two minutes before it’s unnerving.

“Okay,” Kurt says cautiously. “Um...sure.”

* * *

 

He’s more than a little jealous of the fact that there’s an actual cafe--albeit small--in the school, though he masks his surprise when Sebastian asks for his order and hands the barista his money. They end up in one of the many Dalton commons, Kurt sipping his mocha while Sebastian fiddles with the lid of his own latte.

“So you’ve been spying on us, too?” Kurt says after a minute’s strained silence.

Sebastian glances up at him, grinning again as he lounged back in his chair.

“Not really much to spy on,” he says. “But searching the New Directions on YouTube did provide me with an hour or so of amusement. Your loss at Regionals was...entertaining, to say the least.”

Kurt presses his lips together firmly, occupying his hands by taking another drink of his coffee.

“Though I have to say, I almost didn’t recognize you,” Sebastian adds. His eyes rove over Kurt’s features with an intense, searching look that almost makes him squirm in his seat. “You’ve changed a lot.”

Kurt’s not quite sure if he should consider that as a complement or not, so he remains silent and sips quietly at his coffee.

“I am sorry, though,” Sebastian continues, “about... it’s kind of an instinct, I guess, from, um, self-defense classes. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s fine,” Kurt mutters, shrugging. “I’m used to being pushed into things.”

Sebastian’s forehead furrows in a questioning frown and Kurt shakes his head.

“Just idiots at my school who don’t approve of me being gay,” he says shortly, clearing his throat when it starts to tighten painfully. To his mortification, his eyes start to prickle with tears, and he hurries to blink back the moisture, keeping his head lowered in the hopes that Sebastian doesn’t see.

“We live in Ohio.”

Kurt looks up at Sebastian’s voice, surprised to find his expression somewhere between hard and weary.

“What did you expect?” he continues with a humorless smile. He sighs, dragging his hand down his face and shifting in his chair.

“Look, I get it,” he says. “We live in a shit town in a shit state, but you can’t... let them see that it affects you. If you do, it gives them all the power. That’s why no one gives me crap, because if I don’t let them have the satisfaction of upsetting me, they get bored and move on.”

Kurt blinks, shrinking in his seat under Sebastian’s steady gaze.

“So... you’re--”

“Queer as fucking three dollar bill?” Sebastian scoffs, settling back in his chair again. “Yeah.”

Kurt swallows, picking at the corner of his cup.

“So, what,” he says, “you’re telling me to just ignore it?”

“I’m telling you to take their power away,” Sebastian says. “And another thing,” he adds, leaning forward in his chair and folding his arms on the table. “You really need to loosen up, I can practically smell your stress from here.”

“What exactly do you suggest I do?” Kurt says stiffly.

Sebastian shrugs one shoulder, draining his coffee and tossing it in the garbage can.

“Ever heard of Scandals?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for some mild violence in this chapter.

Scandals, it transpires, is a rather sleazy, rundown gay bar on the western edge of the Lima city limits. When Kurt works up the courage to drive there alone that Friday, clutching a fake ID he’d gotten from Puck that claims he’s twenty-six and from Hawaii, he parks on the far end of the lot, holding the little square of plastic close to his chest as he walks towards the bar under the bright light of the waning moon peering over the edge of the wispy clouds.

To his complete shock, the bouncer doesn’t question him when he passes him his ID, though judging by how downtrodden he looks, Kurt guesses he doesn’t really care. He slides the card back in his pocket, glancing around the room and making his way towards the bar. The place is surprisingly empty for a Friday night, though, given that it’s Lima, Kurt supposes it’s no more than he should have expected.

Everyone in the bar looks no younger than thirty-five and Kurt’s about to give the whole thing up as a bad idea--he hadn’t actually gotten past the ‘getting into the bar’ part of the plan when he thought it up--when a firm hand settles on his shoulder from behind.

“Aren't you a little young to be in here, babe?”

Kurt spins around, sighing in relief when Sebastian grins down at him, letting his hand fall back to his side.

“Oh,” Kurt grumbles. “You’re here.”

“Do you have a problem with that?” Sebastian says, cocking an eyebrow and still smiling as he says it.

“No,” Kurt says defensively. “I just... wasn’t expecting it.”

“Yes, well, I know there are so many other eligible options for you here,” Sebastian says sarcastically, eyes sweeping over the dejected men sitting at the bar.

“Are you suggesting I dance with you,” Kurt says, wrinkling his nose.

“Don’t sound so enthusiastic,” Sebastian says, laughing. He leans closer to Kurt, hand resting warm on his elbow. “And who said anything about dancing?”

Kurt wrenches his arm away, scowling when Sebastian merely chuckles.

“I’d rather chew glass,” he says contemptuously, turning on his heel and striding towards the bar.

“It’s not like I was serious,” Sebastian says, falling into step behind him. “Though I will say it was a good idea to ditch the weird shorts and bitch boots. This is a much better look on you. I could probably ignore what your face looks like with that ass you’ve got.”

Kurt’s hands fly to his jeans to cover his ass as he rounds on Sebastian, glaring furiously at him.

“Could you be any more of a pig?” he snaps, taking the last few steps to the bar backwards so he can lower himself onto one of the unoccupied stools.

“You want me to squeal for you?” Sebastian says, plopping himself down on the stool next to him and rapping his knuckles on the bar with a nod to the bartender.

“Oh my god, just leave me alone,” Kurt groans.

“After I recommended this fine establishment to you?” Sebastian says, laying a hand over his heart in mock hurt. “Kurt, you wound me.”

“Don’t make me actually wound you,” Kurt mumbles, squinting at the bottles of liquor lining the wall behind the bar and suddenly feeling incredibly out of place and young.

“Let me, babe,” Sebastian says, accepting the drink the bartender passes him. “Can I also get a--” he pauses, frowning at Kurt in consideration, “Seabreeze for my friend? And go easy on the vodka, I’m pretty sure he’s the biggest lightweight in the room.”

“Hey!” Kurt says indignantly, though he doesn’t argue when the bartender only pours half a measure of vodka into the shaker. As adventurous as he's feeling tonight, he still remembers how miserable he'd been the year before when he'd ended up throwing up on Ms. Pillsbury's shoes all too well.

He peers warily into the glass when the man slides it across to him, accepting a twenty dollar bill from Sebastian before disappearing again.

“It’s not going to bite you, babe,” Sebastian says, taking a sip from his own drink.

“What’s in it?” Kurt says, sniffing the red-pink liquid.

“Vodka, cranberry, and grapefruit,” Sebastian says, “it’s good, just try it.”

Kurt takes a small, tentative sip, humming in surprise when the tart liquid hits his tastebuds. He can only faintly taste the hint of bitter alcohol in the aftertaste, and he quickly takes a larger gulp, feeling a little giddy and scandalous about the whole thing.

“Told you,” Sebastian says, clucking his tongue. “I knew you’d like it. It’s fruity and sour, just like you.”

Kurt shoots him a glare but ignores him otherwise, taking another gulp of his drink and nearly draining the glass halfway already. He swivels on his stool, peering out at the few men scattered across the dancefloor, Sebastian sipping his drink and watching him with mild amusement.

“Are they always so... old?” Kurt says, wrinkling his nose. “And dirty.”

Sebastian laughs softly, setting his drink down and turning so he can lean back against the bar.

“I mean... it’s Lima,” he says with a shrug. “Sometimes you just have to take what you can get. I would say try Columbus but I don’t think you’re ready for that big pond yet, little fish.”

Kurt hums, blushing faintly when he accidentally catches the eyes of one of the men across the room over the rim of his glass. He turns back around quickly when the man leers at him, keeping his head down while Sebastian laughs next to him.

“Oh, you are so out of your element here, baby,” Sebastian says, shaking his head. “It’d be kind of cute if you weren’t dressed like you were here for the sole purpose of trying to get laid.”

Kurt nearly chokes on the dregs of his drink, coughing hard and flushing darkly.

“What?” he gasps, eyes watering as he turns to stare at Sebastian, who simply smirks.

“You’re wearing jeans that look like they were painted on and I’m pretty sure I caught half a dozen guys staring at your ass on the way over here.” He shrugs, gesturing for the bartender to bring Kurt a fresh drink. “You’ve got ‘needy virgin bottom’ written all over you.”

Kurt takes his drink and has to restrain himself from throwing it in Sebastian’s face, fingers tight around the glass.

“Hey, don’t take it as an insult, babe,” Sebastian says when he catches Kurt furious expression. “There’s plenty of guys out there into twinks like you.”

“You--you are such a--ugh.” Kurt exhales hard, nearly shaking with frustration.

He can already feel the small amount of alcohol warming his blood, just enough to make everything feel vaguely fuzzy and muted. He doesn’t miss the irony of the fact that he’s only convinced himself to go to Scandals to try and de-stress only to end up on the verge of slapping the very person who made the suggestion across the face.

“This is what I’m talking about,” Sebastian says. “You need to stop letting people get to you so much,” he clarifies when Kurt gives him a flat glare.

“You know,” Kurt begins, setting his drink down hard on the bar, ice cubes clinking loudly. “I tried your little theory and guess what? They threw me in the dumpster for ‘not looking at them when they’re talking to me’.”

Sebastian blinks, looking taken aback--though whether it’s because of what happened or because Kurt listened to his advice, Kurt’s not sure--and Kurt turns away, taking another long swallow of his drink before pushing his nearly empty glass away and sliding off his stool. He grabs the bar when his head spins.

“Easy there, tiger,” Sebastian says, laying a steadying hand on Kurt’s arm.

Kurt shrugs him off, straightening his shirt and holding his head up.

“I’m going home,” he says loftily. “Have fun contracting herpes, Sebastian.”

He turns to leave, wobbling a little and shaking his head hard to try and clear the haze of alcohol.

“Whoa, hold on, lightweight,” Sebastian says, hurrying to Kurt’s side and taking hold of his arm again. “As amusing as it is watching you stumble around like an idiot, you cannot drive like this. Why don’t you--come dance with me for a little while, okay? Dance if off and then you can go.”

“Get off me,” Kurt mumbles, twisting his arms out of Sebastian’s grip. “I’ll sit in my car until I’m sober, anything’s better than listening to you insult me for an hour.”

“Kurt--”

“This guy bothering you, sweetie?”

They both turn to look at the man standing in front of them; he’s middle-aged, with graying brown hair and dark eyes that have a wicked sort of glint to them, though Kurt’s too focused on pulling his arm out of Sebastian’s limp hold to pay much attention.

“As a matter of fact, he is,” Kurt says brusquely. “He won’t let me leave.”

“Kurt,” Sebastian mutters admonishingly under his breath.

“Leave the kid alone,” the man says, sneering at Sebastian. “I know you think you’re a hot commodity in here, pal, but no one wants a bicycle everyone else has already ridden.”

Kurt glances at Sebastian, catching the way his eyes darken dangerously and his lips twitch.

“Come on, darling,” the man says, ignoring Sebastian and laying his arm around Kurt’s shoulders. “I’ll walk you out; you don’t have to worry about him.”

Kurt allows the man to steer him towards the exit. He looks over his shoulder at Sebastian, who’s watching them with an uneasy look, and pokes out his tongue childishly.

He’s a little unsteady on his feet, the buzz of alcohol in his blood warm and tingling under his skin, and he leans automatically into the body pressed against his side.

“You smell like cigarettes,” he mumbles, scrunching his nose at the smell of stale tobacco clinging to the man’s coat. “You know they’re bad for you.”

“Anything fun is bad for you, kid,” the man says, hand sliding down from Kurt’s shoulder to rest on his waist.

“It’s true, isn’t it,” Kurt sighs, nodding. He stops walking suddenly when he realizes they’re not heading in the direction of his car, but instead have ended up at the entrance to the alley behind the bar.

“Why are we here?” he says, panic flaring bright in his gut.

“Easy, sweetheart,” the man says, turning his face into Kurt’s neck, hand wandering down to rest on his ass.

Kurt shoves him away hard, taking a heavy step backwards down the dimly lit stretch of cracked pavement. The rush of adrenaline and alertness is dizzying in combination with the alcohol and he stumbles, blinking hard to try and clear his head.

The man leers at him, taking a step closer, eyes sweeping over him hungrily.

“Come on, now, don’t be mean,” he says, advancing on him slowly.

Kurt glances over his shoulder down the alley, chest tightening with fear when he realizes there’s nothing behind him but a dumpster and the end of the high fence that lines the narrow passage opposite the brick wall of the bar. He turns to face the man again, squaring his shoulders defiantly.

“Stay away from me,” he says, trying desperately to keep his voice steady even though he feels weak with panic.

“I’m not gonna hurt you,” the man soothes, even as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small switchblade, flicking it open with a loud click.

“Stay away from me,” Kurt repeats loudly, grabbing at his pocket for his phone and swearing under his breath when he realizes he’d left it in his car.

The man grabs for him and Kurt swings his arm around instinctively, sharp pain shooting up his arm as he catches the man on the jaw. The blow is off-center but still manages to knock the man sideways, and Kurt backs away quickly, raising his shaking fists protectively as the man wipes blood from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand.

“You little bitch,” he growls, brandishing the knife and moving forward.

Kurt tries to root his stance, holding his firsts out even though his entire body is tight and shaky with fear.

A loud, clanging bang fills the air and Kurt jumps back from the dumpster, tripping on his own feet and landing hard on the asphalt, hissing when his hands drag painfully across the jagged surface.

He stares in stunned disbelief at the massive dog standing on the lid of the dumpster. It’s huge, more a wolf than a dog, with mottled brown and grey fur and luminous green eyes; long, curved fangs bared in a low snarling growl and shoulders hunched like it’s ready to pounce.

It leaps lightly off the dumpster onto the ground and Kurt scrambles backwards away from it. It pays no attention to him, however, beyond a brief glance in his direction before it advances towards the man still blocking the exit to the alley.

“Shoo,” the man says, swiping the knife through the air at the dog. “Go away, mutt.”

The dog snaps its jaw loudly, ears laid back flat against its skull and body crouched close to the ground. It shuffles forward, long, blunt claws scratching at the pavement, corded muscles straining under the thick fur. It takes Kurt a moment to realize that the animal has moved between him and the man holding the knife, positioning itself protectively in front of him.

“Git!” the man shouts, moving toward the dog and swinging his knife in a wide arch. The dog leaps at him with a vicious snarling bark and Kurt shrinks further into the corner, watching with wide eyes as the dog’s paws connect with the man’s chest and then both crash heavily to the ground. There’s a flash of bright steel, a pained yelping growl followed by an agonized howl, and then...silence.

Kurt takes a deep, wavering breath, craning his neck at the heap of fur and flesh backlit by the pale light at the end of the alley. He pulls back into the corner when the dog stirs, pushing itself up onto all four paws to hover over the man beneath him, who remains still and unmoving. The animal stumbles, whimpering quietly as it catches itself, shoulders heaving with each panting breath. It turns slowly to face Kurt, tongue lolling and head bowed, and limps towards him, making low, pained noises with each step.

Kurt crawls back until he’s pressed into the corner, lifting his hands to try and shield himself as the dog approaches him. He shudders, muffling a small, terrified sob into his sleeve when he feels a cool, wet nose nudge against his palm, hot breath ghosting over his skin. His eyes squeeze shut and he braces himself for the dog to close its jaws around his fingers or tackle him to the ground and tear at his throat.

Instead, he feels the gentle lap of the dog’s smooth, flat tongue on his scraped and bloody palm, carefully cleaning the dirt and gravel from the shallow cuts. He hesitantly lowers his trembling hands, chewing nervously on his bottom lip as he reaches out to lightly touch the dog’s neck, fingers tangling in it’s thick, soft fur. The dog looks back at him with wide, oddly familiar green eyes, blinking complacently.

“I don’t know why you did that,” he murmurs, smiling a little when the dog turns its face into his hand and snuffles at his wrist. “But... thank you.”

He scrubs his forearm over his eyes, wiping away the tears cooling on his cheeks and sniffing. He pushes himself to his feet, standing on wobbly legs and laying a hand on the dog’s head when it tries to steady him. He moves down the alley, the dog keeping close to his side, pausing a few steps away from the man still lying on the pavement.

“Is he... dead?” he says warily, prodding the man’s shoe with his toe. He jumps back when he stirs and groans weakly. Kurt lays his hand soothingly on the dog’s head when it growls lowly, hackles raised and ears twitching back.

Kurt bends to scoop up the man’s knife and throw it as hard as he can down the alley, hearing the faint clack of metal on wood as it hits the fence.

“Come on,” he mutters, casting the man a final, disgusted look before heading out of the alley towards his car, surprised that the dog shuffles along behind him.

He fumbles with his keys, unlocking the door and crawling into the back seat, stretching out across it and covering his face with his arm, sucking in slow, deep breaths. When he feels warm pressure on his knee, he lifts his arm to peer down at where the dog is resting its head on his leg, eyes wide and imploring as it whines softly. Kurt smiles and pets his hand over the top of its head, sitting up and scratching it lightly behind the ears.

“Oh... you’re hurt,” he says, stomach clenching at the site of dark blood matting the dog’s fur at its right shoulder. He grimaces, fingers brushing delicately over the deep cut just visible through the wet fur. “Sorry,” he mumbles when the dog bares its teeth.

He pauses, chewing on the inside of his cheek before making up his mind.

“Hold on,” he says climbing out of the car and popping the truck to root around inside, pulling out an old towel he’d kept packed for the days when he needed to clean slushie off himself. He lays it out on the back seat, patting the spot encouragingly when the dog tilts its head at him in a curious look.

“Come on, boy,” he says, clicking his tongue. “Jump up.”

The dog raises up on its back paw, struggling a little as it tries to climb up into the seat, growling when Kurt tries to help it.

“Okay, okay, calm down,” Kurt mutters, shutting the door as the dog turns its head to try and lick weakly at its wounded shoulder.

He climbs into the front seat, closing his eyes and taking a deep, steadying breath to clear his head before turning the key in the ignition, glancing in the rearview at where the dog has curled up on the towel, green eyes meeting Kurt’s in the glass, strangely bright and unnerving. Kurt looks away, twisting his hands around the steering wheel before shifting the car into drive and pulling slowly out of the lot and out onto the main road.

* * *

****

When he gets home, he’s careful to shut off his lights before he pulls into the driveway, straining his ears as he shuts off the engine. He knows Finn is staying at Puck’s house for the night and that Carole is working late at the hospital, but his father is home, surely asleep, and Kurt doesn’t want to imagine what he would say to Kurt showing up home well-past midnight with an injured dog when he’s supposed to be spending the night at Mercedes’ house.

Thankfully, when he heads through the back door, the dog limping at his side, the house is silent, and he makes his way upstairs to his bathroom, closing the door carefully behind him. He digs through the medicine cabinet until he finds gauze and neosporin, kneeling on the floor next to the dog, who’s now licking absently at its paws.

“Okay, boy, you need to let me clean this, alright?” Kurt whispers, gently dabbing at the dog’s bloodied fur with a wet towel, hushing it gently when it growls. “I know it hurts but I have to clean it so it doesn’t get infected. Why am I explaining this to you, you’re a dog,” he adds with a sigh.

He cleans and dresses the wounds, carefully wrapping the shoulder with soft gauze and tying it off in a neat bow.

“Don’t look at me like that, we don’t have any tape,” Kurt says when the dog gives him a dubious look.

The dog sneezes, pawing at the door and trotting past Kurt to his bedroom when he opens the door to let him out.

“Yeah sure, just make yourself at home,” Kurt mumbles when he walks into the room--locking the door behind him in case his father tries to check on him before leaving for the shop--just in time to see the dog turning on the spot on his bed, flopping down and curling up with a huff.

Kurt strips out of his clothes, sighing at the tears in his now ruined shirt before tossing it in the trash. He pulls on his pajamas, too drained and exhausted to shower even though he feels vaguely dirty after the night’s events. When he turns back around, the dog is still curled up in the same spot, eyes fixed on Kurt over the top of it’s fluffy tail where it’s draped over its snout.

“You’d better not have fleas,” Kurt mumbles as he pulls back the covers and crawls into bed. He strokes his hand down the dog’s back, smiling when its eyelids droop wearily. “I’ll call the animal shelter tomorrow. We’ll find you a home, boy.”

He pats the dog on the head before settling back against the pillows, one hand still resting loosely on the dog’s broad paw as he drifts to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your feedback so far! I've reached 25k and finished the first six chapters so far so you can keep expecting updates ever Saturday :)


	3. Chapter 3

The glaring sunlight against his eyelids pulls Kurt from sleep early the next morning; he groans and rolls over into his pillow, reaching out and searching for the feeling of soft, thick fur as the memory of the night before filters back into his brain. He stills when, instead, his fingers encounter warm skin. His eyes snap open and he bolts upright, heart pounding in his chest and eyes popping at the sight of a tall, very naked boy sprawled out on his bed, face buried in the crook of his elbow near Kurt's feet and shoulders rising and falling slowly in time with his breathing.

Kurt yanks his sheets up to his neck, drawing his legs to his chest when the boy snuffles in his sleep, feet twitching. He’s trying to decide how to react when the boy sighs and flops over onto his back, limbs spread out over the blankets and mouth hanging open.

Kurt slaps his hand over his eyes with a squawk of embarrassment, blushing furiously when he accidentally catches sight of the boy’s soft dick resting against his hip. He peeks anxiously through his fingers, inhaling sharply as his eyes rake over the boy’s face and he realizes with a lurch of his stomach that he knows him.

Sebastian is sleeping naked on his bed.

“Oh my god,” he squeaks, scrambling off the bed and nearly falling in his hurry, clutching his pillow to his chest. “Oh my god, oh my god.”

He tries to look anywhere but Sebastian as he backs away, though he can’t stop his eyes from wandering, flicking to Sebastian's sleep-rumpled hair, the taut, tan skin of his chest and stomach, smattered with freckles; the trail of dark, sparse hair leading down from his navel; and the faint lines of muscle on his abdomen and the pronounced ‘v’ cut of his hips. He’s annoyingly good-looking without his clothes on for someone as infuriating as he is.

Kurt blinks and looks away quickly when he realizes he’s staring. He swallows thickly, gnawing at his lip as he tries to decide what the proper etiquette is for waking up with a naked boy you barely know sleeping next to you.

He glances back at Sebastian, who smacks his lips quietly in his sleep, nose twitching as he turns his face into Kurt’s sheets and inhales with a happy little hum. There are tight bandages tied high around his right arm and Kurt realizes with a jolt that they’re his bandages and suddenly everything slots into place in his head, leaving him gaping again.

“Okay,” he mutters frantically to himself, still holding his pillow loosely to his chest as he starts pacing. “Okay, so there’s a naked, sleeping... werewolf in my bed, no big deal.” He lets out an awkward, panicked laugh. “It’s fine, I’ll just...I’ll wake him up and thank him for helping me and then he’ll go and I’ll never see him again.” He stops suddenly. “Oh god, what if him helping me was some weird mating ritual.” He gasps quietly. “Or what if he’s hungry? Do I have to feed him? What do werewolves even eat? People?” He pauses, frowning in consideration. “No I guess he would have eaten that guy last night if they did....”

He’s interrupted in his musings by the sound of Sebastian yawning and he turns to see him blinking blearily awake, stretching languidly and scratching his stomach as he takes in his surroundings. His brows furrow in a faint frown of confusion as he sits up, eyes roving over Kurt’s room, widening when they land on Kurt himself where he’s still standing opposite him, wielding his pillow protectively.

“Shit,” he mutters.

Kurt stares at him.

“‘Shit’,” he echoes in an angry hiss. “You are naked in my bed and also, surprise, a werewolf and all you can say is ‘shit’?!”

Sebastian groans and flops back on the mattress again with a roll of his eyes.

“Ugh, can we not do this, I’m still a little hungover from last night, not to mention sore from, oh yeah, saving your ass.” He flashes a glare at Kurt, who huffs.

“Yes, well, not that I’m not incredibly grateful for that--”

“You've got a funny way of showing it,” Sebastian grumbles.

“But,” Kurt continues, narrowing his eyes. “You could have, I don’t know, warned me so I didn’t have a heart attack when I woke up.”

“One,” Sebastian says, sitting up again and turning to face him, smirking faintly when Kurt averts his eyes with a dark flush. “I was planning on leaving before you woke up but apparently you rise with the fucking sun. Two, what exactly was I supposed to do, turn into Lassie and bark the fucking alphabet for you?”

“I don’t know,” Kurt snaps back defensively. “You could have figured it out, I’m sure. And can you please cover yourself up,” he adds, holding his hand out in his field of vision to cover Sebastian’s lower half.

Sebastian rolls his eyes again but complies, dragging Kurt’s sheet over his lap.

“Honestly, you act like you’ve never seen a cock before,” he mutters. “Unless you actually are as sexless as you act and are built like a damn Ken doll without one of your own.”

“I have one!” Kurt retorts loudly. “Shut up,” he snaps when Sebastian snickers. “But that doesn’t mean I want to see yours. God, I’m going to have to burn those sheets later.”

“Relax, princess,” Sebastian says, “I promise I’m not as disease-ridden as you apparently assume I am.”

“I can’t believe you slept in my bed,” Kurt grumbles, ignoring him. “I can’t believe I actually let you sleep with me, in my bed.”

“Yes, we’ve established that,” Sebastian says.

Kurt ignores him again.

“I’m never going to be able to sleep right in that bed again,” he groans. “I--” he stops, gasping loudly and rounding on Sebastian. “You watched me change!” he says in a scandalized hiss.

“Calm down, jesus,” Sebastian groans. “I closed my eyes, I promise I didn’t see any of your... unmentionables. Ken doll-esque or otherwise.”

Kurt narrows his eyes suspiciously.

“I swear!” Sebastian says. “As if I’d want to anyway,” he adds under his breath.

Kurt flushes hotly.

“Oh, right, I guess you don’t have use for people you can't screw,” he mutters, remembering the words of the man from the night before.

Sebastian’s eyes snap up to him, expression hardening and hands balling into fists in the sheets.

“God, why did you even help me in the first place when you so obviously can’t stand me?” Kurt adds, folding his arms tight across his chest and glaring at the wall, swallowing hard when his throat tightens.

“...You really think I would have just... let that guy do that to you?”

Kurt turns at the tone of Sebastian’s voice; his expression is one of hurt and incredulity, and Kurt’s stomach twists with guilt.

“I--no,” he says softly, some of his anger and tension fading. “I’m sorry, I... I didn’t mean that.”

Sebastian looks away, eyes bright with vulnerability and the muscles in his jaw working.

“I know I’m kind of a dick,” he mutters. “But I’m not completely heartless, you know. I'd never let that happen to anyone."

“I know,” Kurt says insistently. “I’m sorry. And... I really am grateful. I don't know what would have happened if you hadn’t come along. Thank you.”

Sebastian nods mutely, picking at the corner of the sheet draped over his middle. A few awkward seconds of silence stretch between them and Kurt clears his throat quietly.

“Are you, um, hungry?”

Sebastian lifts an eyebrow dubiously at him and Kurt blushes.

“What?” he mutters, shrugging. “Just thought I’d offer. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that you’re a... werewolf or... whatever.”

“We prefer to be called lycanthropically-abled,” Sebastian says seriously. “I’m kidding,” he says in the same flat voice when Kurt starts to apologize. He stretches his arms over his head with a wide yawn, spine popping loudly. “But, yeah, if I don’t get coffee in me soon I’ll probably murder someone.”

“Do you... do you want to go get coffee?” Kurt says hesitantly. “I mean... with me?”

“Well, I can’t exactly go this this now, can I, babe?” Sebastian laughs, nodding to his lap.

“I can find you something,” Kurt says hastily.

“Oh, there’s no way I’m wearing any of your clothes,” Sebastian says with a shake of his head. “I’ll just go home.”

“Naked?” Kurt says incredulously.

“In case you forgot, I kind of have ready-made camouflage.” Sebastian gestures at himself with a wave of his hand.

“Isn’t it kind of dangerous for you to run around like that in broad daylight?” Kurt says doubtfully. “I mean... wolves aren’t exactly common in Ohio, are they?”

Sebastian shrugs noncommittally.

“Besides,” Kurt presses, “I wasn’t going to give you my clothes. You can wear some of my step-brother’s, he’s more your size anyway. And style. You know... if you call dirty frat boy a style.”

He smirks as he leaves the room, ignoring Sebastian’s shout of, “better than sexless, pre-pubescent wood nymph, babe,” after him, though there’s no real heat behind his words. Finn is, thankfully, still at Puck’s house, and Kurt knows his father left for the shop hours ago, leaving the house empty apart from Carole who is, no doubt, asleep after her shift. He tiptoes into Finn’s room, digging around in his dresser for a plain t-shirt and a pair of jeans and fishing a pair of worn sandals out of his cluttered closet.

“Here,” he says, tossing the clothes to Sebastian when he reenters his bedroom. “And you can wear these,” he continues, pulling a pair of dark briefs from his own dresser and throwing them at Sebastian’s head. “I haven’t worn them, calm down,” he adds when Sebastian gives them a wary look.

“Right, so... I’m going to shower and... yeah,” Kurt says, trailing off when Sebastian stands to get dressed, sheet falling away. Kurt scurries to his closet to pull out fresh clothes before heading to the bathroom. He showers and dresses quickly, nervously smoothing down his shirt as he walks into the bedroom.

Sebastian’s standing at Kurt’s bookshelf, dressed in Finn’s clothes, which are only slightly too large for him, and looking over the silver picture frames lining the shelves. Kurt watches him pick up the one of a young Kurt sitting on his mother’s lap, beaming at the camera. He smiles faintly before replacing it on the shelf and moving onto the next one, a picture from the wedding of Kurt with his father, Finn, and Carole.

Kurt clears his throat loudly and Sebastian turns, slipping one hand in his pocket and plucking at Finn’s t-shirt, shaking the hem of his jeans back off his foot with a wry look.

“So is your brother like... seven feet tall or something?"

* * *

****

Forty-five minutes later they’re tucked away at one of the tables in the corner of the Lima Bean, Kurt gripping his usual mocha in his hands and Sebastian alternatively sipping at his mug of black coffee and dipping pieces of his scone in it. Kurt can’t help but pick up on the amusing habit he has of lapping at the drips of coffee clinging to the pastry before slurping it into his mouth, licking the crumbs from his fingers with small flicks of his tongue.

“What?” he says suspiciously, pausing to give Kurt a curious look when he catches him watching.

“Nothing,” Kurt says, shaking his head and suppressing a smirk. He coughs and takes a drink from his own mug, setting it down gently and drumming his fingers against the sides. “So... um, are your parents... like you? I’m sorry, I don’t really understand how it works,” he adds when Sebastian give him an amused look. “I mean, I’ve never met a--” he drops his voice to a whisper-- “werewolf before.”

“Yeah, join the club,” Sebastian mutters. Kurt frowns questioningly and Sebastian sighs, sweeping his hand through his already tousled hair. “I mean... apart from the one who bit me. I've never seen another one. My parents aren’t... like that. I wasn’t born like this.” He turns his mug on the table, frowning into the cooling coffee swirling around inside. “When I was twelve, my dad and I went camping upstate. He was out getting firewood or something and I was back at the tent when this... huge dog showed up. It was filthy and scrawny and growling and... for a minute I was sure I was going to die. I couldn’t move, I was so scared, and I kept thinking that maybe if I just sat still it would take the food and go.

“But then it jumped me and... and it bit me.” He stops, stretching his arm out across the table, wrist up, and it takes Kurt a few seconds to realize he’s showing him the faded scars on the inside of his forearm, four small, round marks that Kurt now knows were once puncture wounds made by wickedly sharp fangs.

Sebastian pulls his arm back, turning it down against the table so his scars are hidden as he continues.

“Luckily, my dad showed up before it could do anymore damage and scared it off but... it was full moon and one bite’s all it takes.” He smiles stiffly. “I must have passed out changing it hurt... so bad the first time, like someone was breaking every bone I had and shoving it back together the wrong way. By the time I woke up, I was myself again, back in my own bed with my mom crying next to me and my dad looking like he was going to throw up.

“They both tried,” he continues, no longer looking at Kurt, eyes fixed on the nearly empty mug in his hands, “to find a cure. But you can’t exactly go to the hospital and tell them your son’s a werewolf and the internet is pretty useless, you never know what's real and what's people fucking around. I don’t think even they believed it was actually real until the next moon came around and I turned again. Back then I couldn’t control it like I can now. The howling was so bad, the neighbors nearly called the cops so my parents, um... they shipped me off to France to live with my grandparents. They owned a little farm outside of Paris and I had plenty of room to run and... I didn’t have to worry about freaking people out when the moon came around.”

“They sent you away?” Kurt says quietly, trying to imagine how he would feel if his father did the same thing to him. “Just like that?”

“What choice did they have?” Sebastian snaps defensively. “I mean I couldn’t exactly hide out in my bedroom and wake up the entire neighborhood every month. They did it for my own good, and everybody else’s. What if I’d gotten loose and attacked someone or--or them? I was a monster.”

“You were just a little kid,” Kurt says in a small voice.

Sebastian doesn’t respond, jaw working silently as he meets Kurt’s gaze across the table. He drops his eyes to his cup again, sighing heavily.

“It doesn’t matter,” he says, voice vaguely defeated. “I stayed in Paris and went to a private school there. My grandmother made excuses for me during the full moon and at night my grandfather would let me out to run once I got over the pain of shifting. Their land was fenced in so I didn’t have to worry about hurting anyone and I learned how to control it. By last summer I could shift whenever I wanted, or not shift whenever I wanted, and I finally convinced my parents to let me come home.

“They enrolled me at Dalton and I joined the Warblers and... I can finally actually have a real life. I mean, I still go out when I really need to, drive to the woods a few miles outside of Westerville and run around. I’ve tried checking to see if there’s anyone else... like me in the area but either they’re not out there or they’re just ignoring me.” He shrugs one shoulder in resignation. “It’s fine, though, I get to have normal friends and play sports and go to clubs and stuff. I get to act like a regular high school student without having to worry about skipping school every month and all that so... I mean, it is what it is.”

“Does... does anyone else know?” Kurt says softly. “Besides your family?”

“No,” Sebastian says, shaking his head. He laughs humorlessly. “There’s not really any way to softball ‘Hi, I’m Sebastian Smythe, I like lacrosse and I’m a werewolf’ into a conversation, is there? And you weren’t supposed to find out either,” he adds, narrowing his eyes at Kurt, though he’s smirking faintly.

“I’m not going to tell anyone,” Kurt says earnestly. “I swear. I know what it’s like having secrets you don’t want anyone else to know.” He’s almost tempted to reach across the table to lay his hand over Sebastian’s where it’s resting beside his mug, but he settles for a small, reassuring smile. “You don’t have to worry.”

Sebastian returns his smile with a lopsided one of his own.

“You know,” he says reluctantly, picking at the crumbs on his plate. “As much as I hate to admit it at the risk of sounding like a total chump, it’s actually kind of nice having someone to talk to about it. My parents have kind of taken the whole, act like it doesn’t exist and maybe it’ll go away stance to the entire thing so... thanks.”

Kurt’s smile turns a little sad as he watches Sebastian drain the rest of his coffee with a satisfied hum, flashing him a grin as he sets the mug back on the table.

“Yeah,” Kurt says, chewing on his lip and cupping his drink tightly in his hands. “Any time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your feedback so far! As of now I'm planning on continuing publishing a chapter every Saturday unless I manage to write more and can publish more often. If you have any questions or need to check on updates, etc, I'm also walkalittleline on tumblr :)


	4. Chapter 4

The rest of November passes in a mess of dingy grey skies and cold rain interspersed with snow. The Warblers end up tying with the New Directions at Sections, and while the rest of his friends are pouting, Kurt is watching Sebastian accept congratulations from Mr. Schuester. As soon as the man turns away, Sebastian flashes Kurt a smirk and a wink before he turns and leaves with the rest of the Warblers. Kurt suppresses a smile, schooling his face into a sombre expression, and heads in the opposite direction, trying not to roll his eyes at Rachel’s impassioned speech about tying not really being winning.

Though he hasn’t told anyone--he remembers the whole Jesse St. James fiasco clearly--he and Sebastian have struck up a, rather strange, friendship since that night at Scandals. They still bicker, half the time that’s all they do, and Kurt’s often torn between grinning like an idiot and slapping him across the face. Sebastian still makes fun of Kurt’s clothes and Kurt still makes occasional jabs at Sebastian’s indiscriminate choices when it comes to hookups on the nights he goes clubbing and ends up sharing his--often amusing--stories of sneaking out the morning after, but they’re not trying to cause damage anymore like when they first met; biting, harsh tones have turned playfully teasing and there are times when they end up going from shouting to grinning at each other without really knowing how they got to that point.

More than anything, Kurt truly appreciates having someone who really understands what he’s going through. While Sebastian wasn’t bullied nearly as much for being gay--something he’d come to terms with while living in Paris--he’d spent much of his time overseas in isolation.

“I was the weird American exchange student that never talked and got sick all the time,” he tells Kurt when they’re lounging on the floor of Sebastian’s bedroom one afternoon a few weeks after Sectionals; it’s only a few days before the next full moon and Sebastian’s been on edge, restless and unable to sit still, and Kurt’s made the attempt to distract him by asking about Paris.

“And back then I had a bit of a temper problem. I mean, you saw it at Dalton but it was so much worse then. I was angry all the time and I couldn’t stop it. My teachers always told my grandparents I had an ‘attitude problem’ so I kind of just adopted the whole lone wolf persona--oh, shut up,” he says when he catches Kurt smirking, “Anyway, it was just easier acting like a complete asshole rather than letting people give me a chance to actually be one. I still didn’t have control over anything then and I guess I was always kind of afraid something might set me off and... who knows.”

Kurt nods, still trying not to grin at the idea of a gangly, twelve year-old Sebastian--he’s seen pictures of him, sulky and moody, with his grandparents lining the walls downstairs--running around trying to behave like a badass. His expression sobers at the thought of that same Sebastian being alone, in another country and feeling not only separate from his classmates but from his family, from everyone, because of his affliction. Not only that but afraid of what his own body was capable of without having any real rein on it.

He’s slowly coming to realize that as much as Sebastian acts like he prefers the solidarity, it’s never been a choice for him, but a necessity, and he feels vaguely touched--and a little sad--that he’s the first one Sebastian’s ever been able to tell any of this to, the first person he’s been able to confide in with the things he’s kept to himself for years. And though Sebastian may treat it all with an air of nonchalance, Kurt’s also noticed a definite downturn in his mood swings over the past few weeks, and he himself has found his days at McKinley much more bearable since they’ve started spending time together.

He’s come to accept that, as much as they snip, as much as they drive each other up the wall sometimes, they offer each other an outlet neither of them has had before, companionship in mutual understanding and respect that Kurt’s come to value more than some of the friendships he’s had for years. And even though Sebastian consistently tells him he’s a pain in the ass and that he only puts up with him because he ‘feels bad for him’, Kurt can tell he feels the same.

It’s in the way he sometimes catches Sebastian watching him with that strange, indiscernible look, how they can spend hours together without exchanging a word--Sebastian occasionally disappearing to the bathroom to shift and returning to plop at Kurt’s side and flip onto his back until Kurt rolls his eyes and scratches his stomach--that Kurt knows Sebastian feels the same way without ever having to say it. And knowing that Kurt’s the only one who knows about Sebastian’s secret makes him feel like he’s carrying around something in his chest, something sacred and safe, and he wonders if Sebastian feels that way about Kurt voicing his concerns about school and dealing with the people who harass him.

He likes to think so.

* * *

****

It’s mid-December, when the temperature has dropped far enough for the snow to stick and Kurt has once again ended up home on a Saturday afternoon working on homework with Sebastian sprawled out on his bed, tossing and catching a tennis ball that--to Kurt’s endless amusement--Sebastian had bought for himself to play with on the nights that it’s too miserable to go out and he needs to shift.

They don’t usually spend their time together at Kurt’s house, preferring Sebastian’s own large--and often parent-free--house or the Lima Bean when they’re together. But Sebastian had insisted he come to Kurt’s house, making the excuse that his parents were annoying him, though Kurt suspects it might actually have something to do with the snowstorm that had fallen over Lima the night before and the bad roads that came with it. Though he also knows Sebastian will never admit to worrying about him.

Kurt’s been working diligently on his history essay for the for the last hour, steadfastly ignoring Sebastian’s increasingly frequent put-upon sighs that Kurt’s fully aware are meant to attract his attention.

“I’m bored,” Sebastian finally says, catching his tennis ball and turning onto his side to face Kurt, who’s sitting at his desk with his laptop.

“So watch a movie or something,” Kurt says, not looking up. “I told you before you came over I need to finish this essay.”

Sebastian groans, flipping onto his back, long limbs spread-eagled on the sheets. For a few minutes there’s nothing but the sound of Kurt’s fingers clicking across the keyboard. He pauses when the mattress creaks behind him, glancing over his shoulder to see Sebastian striding from the room, his tennis ball still sitting on the bed. Kurt hears the bathroom door shut and turns back to the screen with a roll of his eyes.

The door swings open again after a few minutes and Kurt doesn’t look up from his screen at the sound of Sebastian padding across the carpet.

“If you want, you can probably steal Finn’s Xbox, he has football practice all day.”

Something taps softly against his foot and he glances down to see Sebastian’s tennis ball sitting on the carpet next to him. He frowns and swivels in his chair, making an exasperated sound at the sight of the large brown and grey wolf staring expectantly at him, sitting back on its haunches at the foot of his bed.

“I’m not playing fetch with you, Sebastian,” Kurt says, tossing the ball away and returning to his essay. “Honestly.”

He hears Sebastian huff behind him, trotting around the room for a minute until the bed groans and Kurt looks back to see him stretched out on his mattress again, gnawing at the tennis ball, tail wagging absently.

“Don’t get drool on my sheets,” Kurt says sternly before going turning around again, smiling faintly.

He works in silence for another twenty minutes, typing steadily and periodically glancing back at Sebastian, who ends up curled up nestled in Kurt’s pillows, dozing gently.

Kurt is so immersed in his essay he doesn’t hear the sound of a car pulling into the driveway, or that of footsteps up the walk, or the door swinging open. It’s not until it slams back shut that his concentration is broken and he’s wheeling around in his chair to face Sebastian, who’s sitting bolt upright and stock still on the bed, ears pricked and eyes fixed wide on the door.

“Kurt?”

Finn’s voice drifts up from the entry followed by thundering footsteps up the stairs. Kurt barely has a chance to push his chair back and stand before Finn is shoving the door open and barging in, red McKinley duffel slung over his shoulder.

“Who’s car--whoa, is that a dog?” he stares at Sebastian, who looks just as shocked as Finn, and for a few seconds Kurt simply looks fretfully between the two of them, mouth working mutely.

“Whose is it?” Finn says excitedly, letting his bag slide off his shoulder and clunk to the floor before striding across the room to the bed. Kurt would scold him for tracking mud on the carpet but he’s still trying frantically to work out an excuse for Sebastian’s--and his car’s--presence.

“It’s my friend's,” Kurt says wildly, watching Finn’s fruitless attempts to get Sebastian to come to the edge of the bed, hand outstretched towards him. Sebastian turns up his nose, backing into the pillows and against the headboard away from him.

“Um, didn’t you have football practice?” Kurt says anxiously.

“Coach cancelled it after an hour,” Finn says absently. “Too much snow on the field. C’mere boy!” he says, clucking his tongue insistently at Sebastian. “Which friend’s is he?”

“You don’t know them,” Kurt says quickly. “They asked if I could watch him for the day and... and someone picked them up from here so that’s why their car’s outside and...” he trails off at Sebastian’s dubious look, swallowing nervously. He knows full well it sounds ridiculous even to his own ears.

Finn, however, doesn’t seem to need an explanation, too busy trying to get Sebastian--who is resolutely ignoring him--to look at him. Kurt has to commend them both for their persistence.

“Does he play fetch?” Finn says, holding up Sebastian’s tennis ball and tossing it between his hands like he’s trying to tempt Sebastian, who yawns hugely.

“Actually,” Kurt begins, taking the out and grinning wickedly when Sebastian’s head snaps around to him, “he was just trying to get me to play with him. But I need to finish this essay so why don’t you take him out back, Finn?”

“Awesome!” Finn says eagerly, Kurt smiling sweetly when Sebastian glares at him with a look that clearly says Kurt will be paying for this later. “I’ll get my coat!”

Finn all but runs from the room, and Kurt can hear him stumble in the hall in his hurry to get to his bedroom.

“He’s never had a dog before,” Kurt says apologetically when Sebastian continues glowering at him. “Just humor him for a little bit, I’ll be finished with this in a few minutes. Promise,” he adds when Sebastian huffs.

Finn returns a few seconds later wearing his winter coat and a hat, scooping Sebastian’s ball from the bed and calling for him from the doorway.

“Wait, what’s his name?” Finn says, pausing to glance at Kurt, who hesitates a moment before answering the first name that pops into his head.

“Bandit.”

“C’mon, Bandit!” Finn calls, patting his leg and holding up Sebastian’s ball.

Sebastian gives Kurt a final, murderous glance before reluctantly leaping from the bed and trotting out into the hallway after Finn.

Kurt laughs quietly, sitting back at his desk and returning to his essay. It doesn’t take him more than fifteen minutes to finish writing, shutting his laptop and changing unhurriedly into more weather appropriate clothes, taking the time to move Sebastian’s clothes from the bathroom to his own bed to avoid awkward questions if anyone else finds them. He heads downstairs, glancing at his watch to see how much time they have before his father and Carole get home from work--he knows his father would probably give him a stern lecture if he found out he had a dog in the house, and he reminds himself to make sure Finn knows to keep his mouth shut later.

He steps through the back door into the yard just in time to see Finn tossing the ball enthusiastically in Sebastian’s direction, only for it to sail over his head and bounce into the snow ten feet away. He has to muffle a snort of laughter into his glove as Finn goes to retrieve the ball when Sebastian remains immobile, seated on his haunches at the edge of the yard and looking incredibly smug; Kurt’s sure if he could be smirking, he would be.

“Who’s the one who’s supposed to be fetching again?” he mutters when he reaches Sebastian’s side, kneeling down on the pretense of scratching him behind the ears.

Sebastian sneezes and nudges Kurt’s arm with his snout, letting out a content growl when Kurt rubs under his chin.

“Hey, how come he lets you do that and not me?”

Kurt looks back to see Finn frowning at the two of them, tennis ball held limply at his side.

“He won’t let me touch him,” Finn clarifies moodily. “He just growls at me.”

“Well, he’s kind of an asshole,” Kurt says with a grin, ignoring Sebastian's huff. “For a dog, I mean.”

Finn pouts, tossing the ball into the snow near Kurt’s feet as he stands and brushes himself off.

“Will he fetch for you?” he says hopefully.

“If he decides not to be a stubborn idiot, maybe,” Kurt replies, shaking snow off the ball before lobbing it across the yard, biting back a grin when Sebastian takes off after it at full speed, kicking up snow behind him.

“No fair!” Finn says irritably.

“I told you, he’s picky,” Kurt says, holding out his hand when Sebastian returns, dropping the ball into Kurt’s outstretched palm. He throws the ball again, leaping back when Sebastian sends snow and slush flying as he runs off again, apparently determined to annoy Finn by showing him how well-behaved he is for Kurt.

“He just doesn’t know you,” Kurt says placatingly when Finn shuffles over to him, arms folded across his chest and forehead furrowing in a scowl. “Trust me, he’s a dick to everyone at first,” he adds under his breath.

He throws the ball for Sebastian a few more times, handing it back to Finn when he asks to try again and giving Sebastian a warning look. He’s almost certain he sees Sebastian roll his eyes before ambling across the yard to retrieve the ball when Finn throws it. Kurt’s tempted to scold him for going so slow but Finn seems content enough about the fact that he actually did anything at all for him.

“I’m going to go make a sandwich,” Finn says, rubbing his stomach ruefully. “Do you want anything?”

Kurt shakes his head with a dismissive wave of his hand, eyes still fixed on Sebastian where he’s dawdling around the bush where the ball is lying. He hears the back door slide open and closed, tucking his hands in his pockets and shivering against the chill.

When Sebastian drops the ball and sits down in the snow at Kurt’s feet, Kurt kneels down next to him, wrinkling his nose as he slips the wet ball into his pocket.

“Gross,” he mumbles. He glances up at Sebastian, who wags his tail happily, tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth. “You’re gross.”

Sebastian barks brightly in response, bounding forward and catching Kurt off guard with a wet lick across his cheek, tongue warm and slick against his skin.

“Sebastian!” Kurt cries in disgust, scrubbing at the spot with his glove and scrunching up his nose.

He only gets a split second warning, Sebastian’s eyes glinting mischievously and muscles tensing before he's pouncing, tackling Kurt back heavily into the snow, knocking the air out of his lungs with a whoosh as he lands on his chest. Kurt yelps in surprise, twisting his head away when Sebastian’s tongue drags repeatedly across his face, catching his nose and forehead, paws planted on either side of Kurt’s head.

“Get off, asshole!” Kurt shouts, though he’s on the verge of laughter, pushing weakly at Sebastian’s chest. Sebastian presses his cold, wet nose against Kurt’s neck and Kurt nearly screams, squirming away from him and shoving his head away.

Sebastian leans back at last, staring down at Kurt with a self-satisfied look.

“You’re such a dick,” Kurt mutters, smoothing down the rumpled fur on Sebastian’s neck.

Sebastian roos happily, tongue flicking out to lick the tip of Kurt’s nose, and Kurt can’t help but smile, rolling his eyes as Sebastian climbs off him and sits back in the snow. Kurt groans and pushes himself to his feet, grimacing at the snow soaking through his clothes.

“If these pants are ruined, you’re getting neutered,” he grumbles, flashing Sebastian a glare and chuckling when his ears droop. “Okay, fine,” Kurt says with a sigh. “But I’m not scratching your stomach for a month. Come on, I need to change.”

He heads back into the house, Sebastian following at his heels. He forces Sebastian to wipe his muddy paws on the rug at the door before allowing him to jog past him into the kitchen, where--if Finn’s displeased shout is any indication--he steals his sandwich off the counter.

Twenty minutes later Kurt ends up squished against the armrest of the couch in the living room with Sebastian’s head resting on his thigh, Finn sitting in the armchair with his food in his lap, occasionally casting Sebastian wary looks, while reruns of Deadliest Catch play on the television. Kurt strokes his hand absently over Sebastian’s head, fingers sliding through the silky fur and eyelids drooping. Sebastian sighs heavily every now, eventually rolling onto his back and batting at Kurt’s hand until he scratches his chest.

In the month and a half that they’ve known each other, Kurt’s never seen Sebastian behave this way before. He sometimes silently asks for Kurt’s to pet his stomach when he shifts, though sometimes Kurt wonders if he doesn’t do it more to annoy him than anything, but now he’s practically draped across Kurt’s lap, flipped on his back and half-asleep, face turned into Kurt’s side.

Kurt doesn’t question it, though, in fact, it’s nice, being able to be this close to someone else, even if it is Sebastian--in one form or another--to feel like he could doze off right there on the couch with Sebastian stretched warm over his thighs.

It’s when Finn announces that he’s going to take a shower that Kurt blinks himself fully awake again, shaking Sebastian gently and yawning as he tells him he should take the opportunity to leave now so they don’t have to try and explain things to Finn later.

Sebastian jumps lightly onto the floor, stretching luxuriously and yawning before trotting up the stairs, returning a few minutes later, fully dressed and looking vaguely disheveled and--though Kurt would never say it out loud--adorably sleepy.

“God, I haven’t stayed shifted that long so far from the moon in forever,” he mumbles, voice gruff from lack of use, scratching his hand through his hair and blinking blearily. “It’s almost weird walking on two legs again. Also, ‘Bandit’? Is that really the best you could do, Kurt?” he adds, giving Kurt a disdainful look.

“It’s the best I could come up with on short notice,” Kurt mutters defensively. “And for future reference, I prefer you as Bandit than Sebastian,” he continues, tugging on his boots and jacket while Sebastian does the same. “You can’t talk back to me that way.”

Sebastian grumbles in reply, stifling a yawn into his sleeve and following Kurt out onto the front porch. They stand in silence for a moment, breath rising in clouds from their lips.

"So you were... affectionate earlier," Kurt says casually, glancing quickly at Sebastian to try and gauge his reaction.

Sebastian looks suddenly alert, all traces of sleep gone and shoulders tense. He relaxes again almost instantly and laughs awkwardly, though he doesn't meet Kurt's eyes, rubbing the back of his neck and, if Kurt didn't think the very idea absurd given what he knows of Sebastian, he'd say he's even blushing.

"Yeah," he says, frowning down at his shoes and shoving his hands in his pockets. "Sorry about that. Just... keeping up the whole dog appearance, y'know?"

Kurt nods silently, chewing on the inside of his lip.

"Right," he says distractedly. "Well... Finn's showers are notoriously short so..."

"Oh, yeah," Sebastian says with another short laugh. He pulls out his keys and turns them in his fingers, and Kurt's not sure why he's stalling but he's suddenly hyperaware of how close they are on the doorstep, so close he can count the freckles scattered across Sebastian's face,  that he has to tilt his head back slightly to meet his eyes, even though Sebastian's still looking down at his keys.

He looks up at last and Kurt's stomach swoops with a sudden, unidentifiable warmth.

Sebastian opens his mouth as if he's about to say something, closing it and exhaling slowly when he seems to decide against it.

"I guess I'll see you next week," he says finally, voice oddly resigned. "Lima Bean on Wednesday right?"

"Yeah," Kurt replies, nodding. "See you then."

Sebastian raises his hand in farewell, smile tight, and turns to leave, stuffing his hands back in his pockets and crunching his way across the yard to his car. Kurt watches his car sweep out of the driveway, picking at his fingernails distractedly before slipping back inside, leaning back against the door with a quiet sigh.

“Oh, did you friend come?”

Kurt glances up to where Finn is standing halfway down the stairs, dressed in a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt and rubbing at his wet hair with a towel.

“Um, yeah,” Kurt says. “They just left.”

“Aw, man,” Finn says, shoulders slumping. “Hey, do you think they’ll ever bring their dog over again?” he adds hopefully, draping his towel around his shoulders and jogging down the stairs to follow Kurt into the living room.

“Dunno,” Kurt says with a shrug. “Maybe.”

“Cool,” Finn says, grinning. “Wish Mom and Burt would let us have one.”

“That reminds me,” Kurt says as he settles back onto the couch again. “Dad can’t know Se--Bandit was here. You know he’d freak out.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Finn says distractedly. He mimes zipping his lips and smiles, sinking into his seat again and tossing his towel on the floor.

Ordinarily Kurt would reprimand him for it, but he’s suddenly feeling drained and sleepy again, and he curls up at the end of the couch, sighing as he brushes a few long, grey-brown hairs from his pants and snuggles into the still-warm cushions.


	5. Chapter 5

It’s a over week from the next moon, barely a sliver of white light shining through the branches as he all but sprints through the forest, plunging through the trees, chest heaving and lungs burning with the ache for oxygen. He’s not running from anything, he’s never run from anything in his life and he refuses to start now. But he can’t deal with the complexities wracking his own human mind, not when he has such an easy alternative to escape to. So instead he’s here, weaving between black trunks and pushing his body well past its limits.

The snow is shockingly cold against his paws and he stumbles when the numbness in combination with the way his muscles are screaming in protest of the abuse becomes too much. He stops, shoulders hunched and tongue lolling out and dripping saliva into the snow. He collapses at the base of a gnarled pine tree, breathing hard, heart pounding a violent tattoo against his ribcage. His muscles are already starting to cramp, and he knows tomorrow he’ll be paying for the mistreatment he just put his body through.

But the pain is a welcome reprieve from the tumult that’s been going on in his head for the past few days. He can’t think straight anymore, the lines between instinct and emotion becoming too blurred and obscure for him to even attempt to begin muddling through. He knows a part of him—the part he’s trying desperately to suppress—will have to deal with the distant twinge of guilt in his gut; he tells himself that he’s not really running, just delaying the inevitable, that he just needs time to disentangle his own thoughts.

Even he has trouble believing the excuses he makes to himself.

* * *

****

Sebastian cancels their coffee date.

Kurt’s unnerved to find that he has to remind himself that their meetings are not dates. They’ve never been dates, nor has he ever had the desire for them to be before.

Sebastian is crude and insolent and blunt, he insults Kurt on a near daily basis—though granted Kurt gives as good as he gets—and there are days Kurt can barely tolerate his behavior, much less think about... touching him in more than a purely platonic way.

He tries to imagine kissing Sebastian—which is difficult if only for the fact that the only experience he has is with Brittany—pushing up on his toes and brushing his lips to Sebastian’s perpetually smirking ones. He frowns, eyes fixed on the ceiling over his bed, as he considers the notion, surprised and mildly annoyed that it doesn’t actually sound completely awful.

Rolling onto his stomach, he pulls out his phone and rereads Sebastian’s text for the fourth time— _can’t come tomorrow, gotta cancel_ —sighing and tossing the phone onto the bed beside him, arms stretched out at his sides. He’d tried to get an explanation from Sebastian as to why he wasn’t able to come, though two hours later he still hasn’t received a reply and he’s starting to wonder if the moments of awkwardness on the porch the last time they saw each other have scared him off. His stomach squirms at the thought of Sebastian making assumptions about his feelings, and he’s almost tempted to send him another message to assure him that he has nothing to worry about, that Kurt finds the idea of the two of them dating laughable.

But... does he really? He’s never spared the idea a thought before. Despite the fact that they’ve become close over the past two months, along with Sebastian’s odd behavior on Saturday, the possibility of seeing Sebastian in a romantic light has never crossed his mind. Now that he's let himself entertain the thought, however, he can't stop dwelling on it, on the idea of kissing and holding hands over the table at the Lima Bean, of all the things he'd thought he'd never have in Lima but now seem both shockingly close and impossibly far away since the one person he could have them with is Sebastian, Sebastian who sneers at couples when they get coffee together, who's notorious for one night stands—though Kurt hasn't actually heard him mention one for over a week—and who laughed when they watched Titanic together while Kurt was silently crying next to him at Jack's death.

When Sebastian cancels their plans for Saturday, with just as little explanation, Kurt starts to get truly anxious. He hates his own penchant for jumping to conclusions; it’s the week before Christmas and he knows Sebastian being busy is easily explainable, he himself has been spending all his time since his holiday officially began Friday afternoon helping Carole in making a veritable mountain of cookies and setting up decorations before Finn has a chance to do it and accidentally break something.

He’s always loved Christmas. Though he may not believe in god, the holidays always remind him of his mother, how much _she_ enjoyed them. Before it was just him and his father, she would always make sure they had the most beautifully decorated house on the street, and the three of them would go pick out a massive tree together to decorate, Kurt usually ending up falling asleep on the couch with his hot chocolate before they finished.

When his mother died, the first Christmas he and his father spent alone together was one of the most miserable of Kurt’s life. No lights, no cookies, no tree. It wasn’t until Christmas morning that his father realized he hadn’t gotten a tree and spent half the morning scouring Lima for one. They decorated the stunted thing together and while Kurt loved his father and appreciated his attempts to try and get their lives back to normal, he’d still ached at the loss of his mother, and the holidays have never really felt complete without her.

The addition of Finn and Carole to their household makes things feel much more whole, however, and seeing his father trying to sneak cookies while Carole scolds him, makes the mixed knot of emotions in his chest loosen ever so slightly.

When he heads to his room late the night three days before Christmas, it’s the new feeling of easy contentment that makes him decide to send a message to Sebastian, who’s remained silent apart from cancelling their plans over the week.

_Hope you’re having a good break, can I come over tomorrow to give you your present? I miss you._

He stares at the last sentence for a long time before deleting it and sending the rest of the message. Barely ten seconds pass before his phone vibrates in his hands and he jumps. He ignores the way his stomach backflips at the sight of Sebastian’s name, taking a deep breath before answering the call.

“Hey,” he says, grinning. “Finally returning to the land of the living, I see.”

“Don’t come over tomorrow,” Sebastian says shortly.

“Don’t—what?” Kurt says, smile fading.

“Don’t... don’t come over,” Sebastian repeats in a weary voice.

“Why not?” Kurt says, trying not to sound anxious or annoyed even though he can feel himself frowning.

“Because I said so,” Sebastian replies, a hard edge to his voice now.

“Listen,” Kurt says, matching his biting tone. “I get it’s a few days before the full moon but that doesn’t mean you have to be a complete dick like you have been all week.”

“It’s not the moon,” Sebastian snaps back. “I don’t want you here can’t you take a fucking hint?”

Kurt’s stomach lurches sickly and he goes from feeling nauseous to furious in the seconds of silence that follow.

“Well I’m sorry,” he says waspishly, refusing to acknowledge the burn of tears behind his eyes. “I didn’t realize my friendship was such an imposition on your no doubt fascinating life, I’ll try not to be such a burden in the future.”

“Kurt—”

Kurt cuts him off by hanging up before he can argue, throwing his phone across the bed and pressing the heels of his hands hard into his eyes. A part of him expects Sebastian to call him back to apologize, though he’s not even sure if he wants him too or not, but his phone remains silent and dark next to him until he falls asleep around midnight.

* * *

 

The following morning, he makes the decision to go to Sebastian’s house in spite of their argument the night before to demand an explanation to his behavior over the past week and to drop off the present he’d bought for him the week before. When he pulls into the driveway to find it empty apart from Sebastian’s car, he makes his way up to the front door, neatly wrapped box tucked under his arm and hands in his coat pockets, frost and snow crunching under his boots.

He presses the doorbell and waits for a few minutes, nearly pressing it again when the door swings inward. He barely catches a glimpse of Sebastian before he slams the door in his face.

“Dammit, Sebastian!” Kurt shouts, this time pounding on the door with his fist until it opens again on Sebastian, who’s standing on the rug still in his pajamas and scowling down at Kurt. There are dark bags under his eyes, skin drawn and paler than usual and hair sticking up on end like it hasn’t seen a comb in days.

“Well, you look like shit,” Kurt says coolly, pushing past him into the house.

“Gee, thanks,” Sebastian mumbles, closing the door as Kurt turns to face him again. “What are you doing here? I thought I said I didn’t want to see you.”

He doesn’t sound angry, merely resigned and completely exhausted, and now that Kurt has a chance to take a better look at him, he can take in his bloodshot eyes, his sagging shoulders, the downturn of his lips. There are several healing scratches across his left cheekbone and what looks like a yellowing bruise on his collarbone where Kurt can see his skin peeking out from the neck of his shirt. He looks miserable.

“What happened to you?” Kurt says, some of the bite leaving his voice when Sebastian lifts his arm to drag his hand through his hair and Kurt sees another dark bruise on his hip where his t-shirt rides up.

“Nothing,” Sebastian says evasively, tugging his shirt back down when he catches Kurt frowning at the bruise. “I just... fell.”

“You fell,” Kurt echoes dully.

“Yes, I fell,” Sebastian snaps. All the fight seems to go out of him after a few seconds and he sighs, rubbing the back of his neck and wincing.

“Kurt, can you please just go?” he says almost desperately. “Just go home and forget we were ever friends, okay? I don’t want to be friends with you anymore.”

“Can you just shut up and tell me what the hell is going on?” Kurt says, pushing him lightly in the shoulder when he refuses to look at him. “You’re acting weird and you’ve been a total jackass all week. More than usual, I mean.”

His teasing smile fades when Sebastian doesn’t return it, looking just as dejected as before.

“Will you just talk to me?” Kurt says seriously. “Please? I thought we were friends, Bastian.”

Sebastian’s gaze snaps back to him at the nickname, and Kurt can see his resolve wavering. He’s never called Sebastian by the name before, but he files the reaction away for future reference when Sebastian exhales heavily and gestures for him to follow him upstairs.

Kurt pulls off his boots and coat before padding after him, still clutching Sebastian’s present in one hand as he takes in the house, and the fact that it looks exactly the same as the last time he was there two weeks before.

“No decorations?” he says when they reach the landing and head back the hall towards Sebastian’s room.

“No,” Sebastian replies. “My parents are leaving the day after Christmas for a New Year’s cruise so they didn’t see any point in putting them up.”

“You’re not going with them?” Kurt says with a frown. “Why not?” he adds when Sebastian shakes his head.

“Well, one, it would be boring as hell,” Sebastian says, nudging his bedroom door open and heading inside. “And, two, it’s ‘adults only’ so I wouldn’t be allowed anyway.”

“Oh,” Kurt says quietly. “So... so you’re spending New Year’s alone?”

Sebastian shrugs and falls back onto his bed with a creak of springs. “Guess so. Either that or I’ll go to Scandals or something.”

Kurt stares at him for a long moment and it’s not for the first time that he feels his stomach sink at the thought of Sebastian spending the majority of his time alone in this big house. It might have been convenient for when the two of them were spending time together, not having to worry about disturbing Sebastian’s parents when they were listening to music or Sebastian needed to shift, but Kurt knows what it was like before Finn and Carole moved in on the nights when his father wouldn’t come home until long after he was asleep. He also knows Sebastian’s parents love him, but that the three of them haven’t been nearly as close since Sebastian was bitten over four years ago.

"What's that?" Sebastian says, nodding at the box in Kurt's hands.

"Oh," Kurt says, having momentarily forgotten he was holding it. "Um, it's your Christmas present."

He holds the box out mutely for Sebastian, who accepts it with a small frown. He pulls the ribbon loose and lifts the lid, raising an eyebrow as he holds up the forest green dog collar nestled inside, the small, bone-shaped tag dangling from it clinking against the buckle.

"I thought if you had it you could go out more," Kurt says, shrugging. "I know you hate only being able to go out by yourself in the woods and if you wear that you could just... pretend to be my dog or something. You wouldn't have to hide so much."

Sebastian looks vaguely touched, though his expression shifts back into something cool and unreadable as he lays the collar back in the box and sets it silently on his bedside table.

“Sebastian,” Kurt says gently, moving to sit next to him on the bed. “Will you please talk to me? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Sebastian grumbles, lying on his back again. He drapes his arm over his eyes. “I’m fine.”

“Bullshit,” Kurt says. “You’ve barely spoken to me all week and you look like you got in a fight with a tree.”

Sebastian groans and rolls onto his stomach, face squished into the blankets and scrunched in a frown, arms stretched over his head on the bed. He sighs and pushes himself into a sitting position to face Kurt.

“You’re a pain in the ass, you know that?” he mutters.

“One of the few qualities we share,” Kurt says tersely. “Now are you going to talk to me or not?”

Sebastian sighs again and slides off the bed, raking his hand through his hair and pacing anxiously like Kurt’s often seen him do before when it’s close to the moon.

“I told you,” he says, not looking at Kurt. “We just... we can’t be friends anymore, okay?”

“Okay,” Kurt says slowly. “Care to explain to me why?”

“Because,” Sebastian says, throwing up his arms in annoyance. He stops and tugs at his hair, leaving it even more disheveled than before. “Because, I... I can’t be around you, okay?”

“What do you mean you ‘can’t be around me’?” Kurt says, frowning even as his stomach starts to knot uncomfortably with nerves.

Sebastian lets out a frustrated, helpless growl and rounds on him.

“It’s because of your smell, okay?” he shouts, breathing out hard and letting his arms fall limp at his sides.

“My... smell?” Kurt says, blinking in confusion. He wraps his arms self-consciously around himself and blushes nervously. “You think I smell bad?”

“No, _no_ ,” Sebastian says with a humorless laugh and a shake of his head. “God dammit,” he mutters when Kurt draws away from him.

“ _Kurt_ ,” he says, sounding frantic again. “It’s the exact opposite, okay?”

Kurt frowns, lowering his arms hesitantly.

“What do you mean?” he says suspiciously.

“Fuck, this is so embarrassing,” Sebastian mumbles, pinching the bridge of his nose for a moment before looking back to Kurt. “I mean... you smell _really_ good. To... you know... him. You always have.”

Kurt stares blankly back at him for a full five seconds before he understands, eyes widening and cheeks turning pink again.

“Oh,” he says quietly.

“Yeah, ‘ _oh_ ’,” Sebastian says darkly.

“So... so what, though?” Kurt presses. “We’ve known each other for two months, it’s never bothered you before.”

“Because I can control his instincts for the most part, but it’s a lot harder to do when there’s... emotions, too.” Sebastian falls silent, looking at the carpet and plucking at the hem of his t-shirt.

“O-oh,” Kurt repeats shakily, heart pattering in his throat. “You mean... you—”

“Yes, okay?” Sebastian says with a guarded look. “I’ve got... _feelings_ or whatever for you.” He folds his arms defensively across his chest, the muscles in his jaw working.

“I know it’s ridiculous,” he continues with a tight smile. “And I still think you’re a pain in the ass. But I can’t... I can’t be around you anymore because right now I can barely even think straight because you smell _really good_ and I really want to kiss you and it’s just easier to end this altogether than going crazy every time I’m in the same room as you and that’s why I look like this because I’ve been running myself into the ground every night to try and get it out of my system but I _can’t_. And I know it’s a dick move but it’s also not fair to you that I can’t control myself.”

He looks a combination of relieved and apprehensive as he finishes, eyes darting between Kurt’s face and his own hands where they’re still fiddling with his shirt.

“What if... I _want_ you to?” Kurt says quietly.

“What if you want me to what?” Sebastian says, frowning at him.

Kurt licks his lips, swallowing and inhaling shakily.

“What if I want you to kiss me?” he says.

Sebastian blinks, eyes widening before he schools his face into a carefully neutral expression.

“Do you?” he says calmly.

Kurt nods; his skin feels tight with anticipation and nerves, his heart fluttering so fast he’s lightheaded.

“Yes,” he breathes, wetting his lips.

They move simultaneously, Sebastian taking a heavy stride towards the bed and Kurt pushing himself to his feet even though his legs feel like they’re suddenly made of water. He barely has time to take a stumbling step forward before Sebastian’s hands are framing his face and he’s kissing him hard, fingers digging into the sides of his neck and thumbs sliding down under his jaw to tilt his chin up. Kurt curls his fingers automatically in the fabric of Sebastian’s t-shirt, his other hand pressing flat against his chest, where he can feel the steady, rapid thud of Sebastian’s heartbeat against his palm. Sebastian's lips are warm and slightly chapped, and Kurt can feel his skin tingling at every point of contact between the two of them. His fingers twist tighter in Sebastian's shirt and he lets his mouth fall open with a quiet whimper when Sebastian sucks lightly at his bottom lip.

“You’re shaking,” Sebastian murmurs against his lips, thumbs brushing gently over Kurt’s cheekbones. He pulls back just enough to look down at Kurt, hooded eyes flicking between each of Kurt’s.

“I’ve never kissed another boy before,” Kurt replies a little breathlessly. “You’d be nervous too if you had as much to live up to as I do.”

Sebastian grins, huffing out a warm breath of laughter against Kurt’s lips.

“Ass,” he mutters, humming happily as he presses their lips together in another kiss, this one gentler than the last.

They’re barely kissing before Sebastian pulls back again, Kurt chasing his lips with a whine of protest.

“Fuck, Kurt, hold on,” Sebastian says, hands falling away from Kurt’s face as he takes a step back from him, leaving Kurt cold from the loss of his body heat and the sudden feeling like someone has dropped ice into his stomach.

“What?” he says anxiously. “What’s wrong?”

“We can’t... I can’t do this,” Sebastian says.

“Why not?” Kurt tries not to sound too upset, even though he feels like someone is twisting his insides into knots, the feeling of euphoria he’d had moments ago replaced with something cold and humiliated. “Am I that awful?”

“No!” Sebastian says with a hard shake of his head. “No, Kurt, I just—”

He drags his hand down his face, and it’s now that Kurt can see the way his eyes are weirdly bright, his pupils dark and dilated.

“It’s just not a good idea,” he mumbles.

“What does that even _mean_ ,” Kurt says, starting to get thoroughly annoyed at the number of times his emotions have been yanked back and forth over the past twelve hours. “You want this and I want this, I don’t understand how it’s not a good idea, Sebastian!”

“What if I hurt you!” Sebastian cries, rounding on Kurt with a wild, fearful look. His throat bobs as he swallows, and Kurt watches his pupils shrink back to their normal size, the color of his eyes returning to soft green and hazel, though they’re still wide and scared. It’s unnerving seeing Sebastian, usually so clever and confident, this desperate, and it’s that that shuts Kurt up more than anything.

“You’ve seen me lose my temper, Kurt,” Sebastian continues. “And I already scared you once when we met not to mention I gave you horrible advice and sent you somewhere where you almost got—what if I lose my temper again or... or worse? What if I can’t control myself and I hurt you, I could _kill you_ , Kurt. If I ever—” his voice shakes and he swallows thickly before continuing in a quiet voice. “If I ever did anything to hurt you, I would never forgive myself.”

Kurt watches him sadly for a long minute before taking a careful step towards him. When Sebastian doesn’t pull away again, he crosses the last few feet between them and lays his hand gently on Sebastian’s arm.

“Sebastian,” he says softly when Sebastian doesn’t look at him. “Bastian, look at me.”

Sebastian lifts his head reluctantly and Kurt’s struck suddenly by how small he looks even though he's nearly half a foot taller than him.

“You’re not going to hurt me,” Kurt says with a reassuring smile. “I trust you, Sebastian.”

“Why?” Sebastian says, though Kurt can feel him lean slightly into his hand.

“Because, as crazy as it seems, I have ‘feelings or whatever’ for you too,” Kurt says. He slides his hand down Sebastian’s arm to tangle their fingers together. “And I know you’re not going to hurt me, okay?”

Sebastian stares down at their intertwined hands, the corners of his lips twitching in a hesitant smile.

“How do you know?” he says, glancing back up at Kurt.

Kurt smiles and tilts his head up to press a short kiss to Sebastian’s lips.

“I know because I know you care about me as much as I care about you, strange as your methods of showing it may be,” Kurt says, squeezing Sebastian’s hand when he feels his thumb rubbing against his own. “And I wouldn’t hurt you like that. You have to stop being so afraid of letting people in, Sebastian. You’re not a bad person. I know you think you are... but you’re not.”

Sebastian gives him a small, grateful smile, which changes smoothly into his usual smirk as he shuffles closer to Kurt.

“For the record,” he says, lifting his hand between them to swipe his thumb over Kurt’s lower lip. “ _You’re_ not a bad kisser. But I’d still be willing to give you a few pointers if you want.”

Kurt rolls his eyes and smacks him lightly in the chest, pulling his hand away from Sebastian’s so he can wind it in his hair instead to tug him down into another kiss with a muttered, “idiot,” against his lips.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay, I was out yesterday and didn't have a chance to publish the chapter so here you go! Thank you all again for the feedback so far :)

Dating Sebastian is, surprisingly enough, not incredibly differently from not dating him. Granted, Kurt only has a few days’ experience to go off, all of which have been spent apart because of the holidays, but the biggest difference is that there’s a lot more kissing involved.

Not that he minds. The opposite, actually. If not for his father calling and telling him to come home that first day, he thinks he could have spent all afternoon sitting on the edge of Sebastian’s bed exchanging lazy kisses that left his lips swollen and sore, leaving him biting his bottom lip the whole way home just to revel in the tenderness, the slight throb of pain that rocked his nerves and made his chest leap at the thought of Sebastian being the cause of it.

The days following have him dwelling on the time spent in Sebastian’s room, how Sebastian had cupped the back of his head, fingers playing through the hair at the nape of his neck and sending pleasant shivers all the way down to his toes. And when Sebastian had grabbed his thighs and pulled him into his lap with a needy growl, tugging Kurt’s head back to suck and drag his teeth over his neck, it was only Kurt’s shaky “oh” of surprise when he felt Sebastian’s half-hard cock against his thigh that Sebastian pulled back, eyes dark and sweeping over the already fading marks on Kurt’s neck before he muttered an apology, forehead dropping to Kurt’s collarbone until his breathing calmed. Kurt had rubbed his back gently, torn between being embarrassed and preening at the thought of affecting Sebastian so much. When Sebastian had hugged him tight around the middle and buried his face in his neck, nosing at his jaw with a pleased sigh, Kurt had had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling.

While Kurt hasn’t quite been able to distinguish between what’s Sebastian and what’s his wolf in the way he reacts—though sometimes he thinks it’s a combination of both—Sebastian somehow manages to make him feel desired and cared for all at once. When he’d left Sebastian’s house after his father’s call, Sebastian had been reluctant to let him go, kissing over his jaw and throat in the entry before following him out to his car in his pajamas like a lost puppy to continue until Kurt ordered him back inside before he froze to death.

They don’t have a chance to speak again beyond a few brief messages until the day after Christmas when things start to settle down. Kurt has been anxious that the change in their relationship will make things awkward between them, but Sebastian’s text are just as teasing as always, if not a little stilted from the approaching full moon happening that night.

Kurt manages to slip away from Puck and Finn playing video games in the living room that evening, heading to his room and locking the door before lying back on his bed and dialing Sebastian’s number. The line clicks after the second ring, and he can’t help the warm, giddy feeling that blooms in his stomach at the sound of Sebastian’s sleepy groan on the other end.

“Hey,” he mumbles around a yawn.

“Hey,” Kurt replies. “It’s kind of early to be in bed, isn’t it?”

He hears Sebastian’s sigh and the creak of his mattress, and his stomach gives another pleasant swoop at the thought of him drowsy and rumpled with sleep.

“Moon’s tonight,” Sebastian says. “Trying to sleep now so I can go out all night.”

“It’s going to be cold tonight,” Kurt says, frowning. “Are you sure you should go out?”

Sebastian hums and Kurt can hear the smile in his voice when he answers.

“You worry too much, babe,” he says. “I’ll be fine. And I need it. The last two days have been the worst.”

“Family stuff?” Kurt says sympathetically.

“Er, no, not really,” Sebastian says, suddenly sounding shifty.

“Okay,” Kurt says slowly, lifting an eyebrow and waiting for him to elaborate.

Sebastian sighs and Kurt hears him swear under his breath.

“It’s just been, um, harder than usual,” he mumbles haltingly. Kurt can almost picture him rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “Being alone.”

“Sebastian,” Kurt says, unable to stop the smug grin from spreading across his face. “Are you saying you miss me?”

“No,” Sebastian says quickly. “I mean... I dunno,” he adds grouchily. “Maybe.”

Kurt hums doubtfully, still smirking faintly.

“Well, as long as you don’t start waiting at the door for me to come back, I think it’s kind of cute,” he says.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t get too cocky,” Sebastian says. “It’s not my fault my dick doesn’t understand I’m in a committed relationship.”

Kurt lets out a loud shout of laughter, quickly muffling it into his hand. He hears Sebastian chuckle softly on the other end and for a few seconds they sit in mutual silence until Kurt clears his throat nervously.

“So, um, does that mean... you’re my boyfriend?” he says, chewing at his lip while he waits for an answer.

“Oh, um, yeah, I guess?” Sebastian says uncertainly. “If you want to—I mean, we don’t have to, I know I’ll be shit at it so I get if—”

“Sebastian,” Kurt says loudly, smiling when Sebastian falls silent. “I, um... I want to. If that’s what you want.”

“I’m not going to be good at it,” Sebastian mutters.

It’s only the insecurity in his voice that keeps Kurt from rolling his eyes and instead has his fingers tightening around his phone.

“I’m sorry about the other day,” Sebastian continues with an uneasy laugh. “When I got a little, um, out of hand. You just... the way you smell, Kurt, the way you taste. You don’t know what it does to me. Fuck, that sounds weird, I’m sorry.”

“No,” Kurt says quietly. “It’s... kind of nice, actually. It’s not like I’ve ever had guys complimenting me on my smell before. Or anything else about me beyond my ability to fit into a locker.”

“They’re idiots,” Sebastian says, voice tight with anger. He sighs after a few seconds of strained silence. “I’m sorry you have to deal with that.”

“It’s okay,” Kurt says, shrugging. “It’s like you said, we live in Ohio.”

“Kurt,” Sebastian says. “You know I didn’t—you still don’t deserve it. And I swear to god if any of them ever hurt you—”

“I’m fine, Sebastian,” Kurt says soothingly. “By the way,” he continues, changing the subject before Sebastian has a chance to get upset again. “I was wondering what you were doing on Friday.”

“Friday?” Sebastian says, frown clear in his voice. “Um, I dunno, why?”

“It’s New Years,” Kurt says. “And your parents are out of town,” he continues when Sebastian remains silent. “And my dad and Carole are going to a party in Cincinnati.”

“Babe, are you saying you want to spend an entire, unchaperoned night with me?” Sebastian says, smirk clear in his voice. “I’m shocked. And kind of turned on.”

“Well, I don’t know if I want to hang around someone that slow on the uptake,” Kurt replies, cheeks warming at the tone of Sebastian’s voice. “I may need some convincing.”

“You’re hot when you get bossy,” Sebastian says. “You’re hot all the time, actually. The sounds you were making when you were here, fuck, your scent and your taste. I think I would’ve come in my pants if we hadn’t stopped.”

“ _Sebastian_ ,” Kurt hisses, surprised at how breathless his own voice sounds. He realizes his fingers are painfully tight around his phone and he loosens his grip, taking a steadying breath.

“I’m serious, babe,” Sebastian mutters, voice low and rough. “You don’t know what it’s like feeling like you’re going to go crazy because you can’t—fuck, I feel like I’m suffocating in my own skin right now. Do you know how many times I had to j—”

“Sebastian,” Kurt whines, swallowing at the dryness in his throat. He glances at his closed door before digging the heel of his hand into his crotch with a soft gasp to try and relieve some of the pressure on his hardening cock.

Sebastian breathes out hard in his ear, the phone crackling before he falls silent again.

“Shit,” he mumbles. “Sorry, I—”

“Kurt?”

Kurt yanks his blanket over his lap at his father’s voice and the soft knock on the door.

“Yeah?” he replies nervously, holding his phone to his chest as the door creaks open and his father pokes his head inside.

“Who’re you talking to?” Burt says, nodding to Kurt’s phone.

“Um, Mercedes,” Kurt says.

“Well, get to bed soon, it’s getting late,” Burt says.

“Okay. Hey, Dad?” he calls after him when Burt starts to leave. “Can I go to Mercedes’ house for New Years?”

“She havin’ a party?” Burt says casually.

“No, it’d just be us, Dad,” Kurt says, rolling his eyes.

“Alright, then, just don’t be back too late Saturday, okay?” He waits for Kurt’s nod of consent before patting the doorframe and backing out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

“Sorry,” Kurt says, lifting the phone back to his ear. “My dad.”

“So I’m Mercedes now?” Sebastian says, sounding amused, removing any remaining tension between them.

“Shut up,” Kurt snaps, grinning. “You know my dad wouldn’t let me spend the night at your house. One, he doesn’t know who you are, and, two, if he did he definitely wouldn’t let me, knowing your nefarious plans for his little boy.”

“ _Nefarious_ ,” Sebastian echoes with a laugh. “You make me sound so awful, babe.”

“You are awful,” Kurt replies airily. “Don’t try and deny it.”

“Mhmm, and don’t try and deny that it turns you on,” Sebastian teases.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Sebastian,” Kurt says flatly. “And be careful tonight.”

He waits for Sebastian’s answering chuckle and “Always am, babe,” before hanging up and setting his phone aside. He flicks off his bedside light and settles back more comfortably in the pillows, picking out shapes in the shadows on the ceiling overhead and losing himself in his own thoughts.

Before meeting Sebastian the idea of sex, of any sort of intimacy, had been completely foreign to him. For the longest time, he’d assumed he’d never meet another gay boy his age in Ohio, much less one who wanted to date him or kiss him. He’s tried watching porn once or twice but it’s always felt too detached and vulgar and he usually ends up slamming his laptop shut, blushing furiously. He knows he’s completely inexperienced, especially in comparison to Sebastian, and until recently he’d never actually considered wanting anything sexual before beyond a few times touching himself in the shower to see how it felt, but having Sebastian basically admit to fantasizing about him leaves him reeling with a myriad of new questions and both thrilling and frightening possibilities.

He’s not even sure what Sebastian expects of him this early in their relationship. Kurt knows it’s difficult for him to control his instincts but he also trusts him not to force him into anything that he’s not ready for. As lewd as Sebastian may be, he’s also more caring and observant that he actually admits. At the same time, however, Kurt knows that Sebastian has grown accustom to a certain type of lifestyle, and that entering into a relationship with Kurt must be jarring with the sudden change, and Kurt doesn’t want to be the one to make Sebastian miserable because he’s still vaguely uncertain about what he is and isn’t ready for.

There’s still an uneasy knot in the pit of his stomach when he finally falls asleep, one that, unfortunately, doesn’t recede over the next few days. By the time he pulls up to Sebastian’s house late in the evening on New Year’s Eve, his nerves are nearly shot from worrying to the point that he nearly bites through Sebastian’s lip when he moves to kiss him the second he steps inside.

“Whoa, easy, babe,” Sebastian says, laughing and wincing as he runs his tongue over his lower lip.

“Sorry,” Kurt mutters, flushing.

“You could kiss it and make it better,” Sebastian says, smirking and cupping Kurt’s jaw in one hand to tilt his head back and capture his lips in another kiss, this one wet and warm and free of teeth.

“ _God_ , I missed that,” Sebastian murmurs, pressing a few kisses over his jaw and back to his ear, inhaling with a content sound, nose brushing the shell of Kurt’s ear. “You smell amazing.”

“And here I thought you liked me for my sparkling personality,” Kurt drawls even as he tilts his head to the side when Sebastian starts mouthing softly at his throat.

“It’s okay too, I guess,” Sebastian says, pulling back and grinning down at him. His forehead creases in a small frown, eyes sweeping over Kurt and nostrils flaring slightly. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Kurt says hastily. “Just... tired.”

“I can smell it on you,” Sebastian says sternly. “You’re freaking out about something. What is it?”

Kurt sighs and nods, steeling himself.

“Can we talk? Upstairs?”

Sebastian’s frown deepens but he nods, waiting for Kurt to head up the stairs before following after him. Kurt waits until they’re settled seated next to each other on Sebastian’s bed before he turns to him again, though Sebastian speaks before he has a chance to.

“Did I do something wrong?” he says, the slightest edge of unease to his voice. “I told you I’m no good at this relationship junk, I’ve never done this before.”

“It’s okay,” Kurt says reassuringly. “Neither have I.” He shifts nervously on the spot, hands twisting in his lap. “You’ve got more experience than I do... and that’s, um... that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” He huffs out a restless breath, glancing at Sebastian, who’s observing him with a combination of confusion and apprehension. “I’ve never—I haven’t—I know you have to... change a lot of things to... to be with me. And I don’t want you to feel like you’re giving up things you enjoy... because of me.”

Sebastian continues to frown at him for a long minute before expression changes into one of understanding.

“Hey, whoa, no, babe,” he says hastily. “You don’t really think I’m mad at you about that, do you?” When Kurt shrugs he sighs and sweeps his hand through his hair. “It might suck not being able to, ah, _satisfy_ every craving I get during the moon and I know I’m still trying to figure how all this relationship stuff works but I knew what I was getting into and I want _you_ now. Not some random in the Scandals bathroom.”

Kurt grimaces, trying desperately to ignore the image of Sebastian with a faceless man in the dirty bathroom of the bar.

“Sorry,” Sebastian says, wincing. “But I mean it. I’m not going to pretend I don’t enjoy it, but I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to just because you think it’s what I want, either.”

Kurt nods mutely, unable to stop himself from leaning over to press a hard kiss to Sebastian’s mouth at the rush of affection he feels for him.

“You can be a big sap when you want to,” he says when Sebastian gives him a questioning look, smirking faintly.

“Don’t tell anyone,” Sebastian says in a tone of mock severity. “I’ve got a reputation to keep.”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” Kurt says with a roll of his eyes.

They end up watching the New Year’s Eve program together on Sebastian’s bed, Sebastian commenting derisively on everything from the performers’ outfits to the newscasters’ hair and pointing out particularly drunk crowd members to Kurt when the camera pans over them.

“I was there one year,” he says when it’s ten minutes to midnight. “When I was ten. It was crowded and freezing and everyone smelled like booze and piss.”

“You certainly paint an enticing picture," Kurt says sarcastically.

"What, you want to see it?" Sebastian says, turning to Kurt with a smirk. "You would."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kurt says, frowning.

"It's true, isn't it?" Sebastian says.

"Well, yeah, so what?" Kurt says defensively. "A lot of people want to see it, it's an experience. And not all of us have rich parents to take us to New York and... wherever. I've barely been out of Ohio."

"Calm down, babe," Sebastian says, laughing. "I just think it's, I dunno... it's cool that you want so much, coming from a place like this. Most people don't have enough ambition to fill a shoe. You're not like that."

“Oh.” Kurt tries not to look too pleased, gnawing at the inside of his cheek and looking down at where his hands are resting in his lap.

“And it’s not _all_ bad,” Sebastian continues, nodding to the television where the clock is counting down from one minute. “I’d probably appreciate it a little more now than when I was ten. I imagine it’s more tolerable when you have something to look forward to. Making out in public without anyone being able to stop you,” he adds when Kurt lifts an eyebrow in question.

He shifts on the bed, turning to face Kurt more fully when the newscasters start counting down from ten, eyes sweeping over his face and grin turning into something more deliberate and hungry. When he leans over to kiss Kurt with three seconds left, however, it’s surprisingly gentle, and Kurt can’t help but sigh into it. Sebastian kisses him slow and measured, hand coming up to cradle his jaw and head angling to the side as his tongue slides across Kurt’s lower lip.

The sound of music and cheering from the television turns into something fuzzy and indistinct in the background and Kurt lets himself focus completely on the glide and pull of Sebastian’s lips against his own. Sebastian’s hand drops from Kurt’s jaw onto the bed by his waist, palm flat on the mattress, springs creaking as he props himself up, upper body twisted towards Kurt.

Kurt breaks away with a quiet smack of lips, breathing just slightly too fast against Sebastian’s mouth. Sebastian’s eyes flick carefully over his face, tongue darting out to wet his lips when Kurt lies back in the pillows, one hand wrapping around Sebastian’s forearm, the warm, firm muscle staining under his skin when he shifts his body again so he’s half hovering over Kurt.

Sebastian kisses him again, this time with more purpose, and Kurt responds eagerly, fingers curling tighter around Sebastian’s arm as a pleasant heat starts to unfurl low in his belly. He pulls back again to take a shuddering breath, eyes finding Sebastian's kiss-bitten lips and heart jolting at the thought of his own lips being just as red and swollen.

"Is this okay?" he whispers, hand sliding up Sebastian's arm to splay over his shoulder blade.

Sebastian huffs out a breath of laughter and Kurt feels a split second of anxiety before Sebastian kisses him again.

“So fucking okay,” he murmurs against Kurt’s lips, catching Kurt’s bottom lip between his own and letting his teeth drag over the spot before pressing wet, open-mouthed kisses down Kurt’s chin. He bites gently at Kurt’s jaw and Kurt can feel him grinning when his own mouth falls open in a soft whine.

His skin feels tight and over-sensitive, receptive to every brush of Sebastian’s lips down his neck. When Sebastian’s hand curls around his hip and pushes under his shirt to rest warm against his skin, his whole body shivers, fingers fisting in Sebastian’s shirt and spine curving upward toward him.

Sebastian sucks hard at the side of his throat and Kurt hisses softly at the pricks of pain that erupt over his skin, eyelids fluttering shut and breath stuttering out of his lungs. The mattress creaks as Sebastian slings his leg over Kurt’s thighs, hips so close Kurt can feel the heat coming off him. His hand moves further up Kurt’s side to rest on his ribcage, thumb brushing over the curve of his abdomen.

There’s a hot twist of desperate want in Kurt’s blood and he hooks his fingers in Sebastian’s belt loop to pull him down hard, flush against him, his other hand tangling in Sebastian’s hair to twist his head up and kiss him, urgent and filthy. Sebastian grunts in surprise before groaning and breathing out a low, “ _fuck_ ,” against Kurt’s mouth and kissing him back just as fiercely, hand sliding under Kurt’s head and thumb pressing against the mark on Kurt’s neck.

Kurt gasps and rocks his hips up, twisting away to muffle a moan in Sebastian’s shoulder when his cock drags against Sebastian’s thigh. He feels Sebastian’s own erection digging into his hip, Sebastian’s breath hot and rough in his ear.

“Babe, I— _shit_.” His voice catches when Kurt gives another experimental roll of his hips. He feels a thrill of power at being able to affect Sebastian this much, and when he starts mouthing hungrily over Kurt’s neck, letting out quiet, needy growls, Kurt simply tilts his head back and lets himself give into the pull of every hormone pumping through his bloodstream.

“ _Kurt_ ,” Sebastian whines, nosing over his throat and grinding his hips down, rocking his body in short, hard thrusts against Kurt’s with increasing desperation, panting raggedly against Kurt’s neck.

Kurt doesn’t have to have any experience to know what the way Sebastian’s hips are jerking unevenly means, and he suddenly feels the shocking chill of anxiety at the idea.

“S-Sebastian,” he breathes, tugging at Sebastian’s shirt and squirming under him. “Wait, wait, stop."

Sebastian pulls back, panting and blinking dazedly down at him.

“What’s wrong?” he murmurs.

“C-can we stop?” Kurt says, trying not to panic even though Sebastian’s weight on top of him feels too heavy and smothering. “Please?”

Sebastian frowns, eyes still dark and disoriented, before nodding and lifting himself off Kurt to sit on the bed next to him. He watches Kurt push himself into a sitting position with a concerned look, face flush and hair thoroughly mussed.

“What’s up?” he mumbles, hand resting warm and grounding on the small of Kurt’s back. “Kurt?”

“I’m sorry,” Kurt says, shaking his head. “I, um... I’m just not... ready right now. I’m sorry.” He digs the heels of his hands hard into his eyes when his face burns with embarrassment.

“No, hey, don’t... don’t,” Sebastian says helplessly. He scoots across the bed to wrap his arms around Kurt’s middle, hooking his chin over his shoulder. For a few minutes they sit in a thick silence until Kurt relaxes back into Sebastian’s hold, turning his head so his cheek rests against Sebastian’s. Sebastian drops a kiss to his jaw before nuzzling his nose behind his ear with a content hum, and Kurt knows a part of him is still running on instinct.

“I’m not mad, if that’s what you’re afraid of,” Sebastian says, sounding wary.

“I don’t want you to think I’m leading you on,” Kurt mumbles, plucking at the hem of his sweater.

Sebastian’s arms withdrawal from around him and he moves to sit next to Kurt on the bed instead, sighing.

“I told you, no pressure, okay?” he says, and when Kurt looks up at him again his eyes are clear and genuine. “Plus that was hot as hell so I’ll have plenty to work with for the time-being,” he adds with a wink.

Kurt groans and rolls his eyes, falling back on the bed and biting back a smile when Sebastian lies down next to him, grinning.

“You somehow manage to be crass and sweet at the same time,” Kurt says, leaning into Sebastian’s hand when he brushes his fingers feather-light over his cheek.

“Another one of my many stellar qualities,” Sebastian says, hand dropping back onto the bed.

Kurt hums, resting his head against Sebastian’s shoulder and letting his eyes drift closed as a wave of drowsiness sinks into his bones.

“C’mere,” Sebastian murmurs, draping his arm around Kurt’s waist to pull him against his side.

Kurt stifles a yawn into Sebastian’s shirt, curling closer to him and his warmth and smiling when he feels the dry press of lips against his temple.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for mild comeplay I guess I'm not even sure if it counts but just in case. Oh and for minor character death.

There are a few moments of awkwardness the following morning when Kurt wakes up to find Sebastian still fast asleep and tangled around him like an octopus, arms wrapped around his waist and face nestled in his neck where his breath tickles Kurt’s skin. He nuzzles closer to Kurt’s throat with a huff, erection digging into Kurt’s thigh and hips rocking forward in his sleep.

“Sebastian,” Kurt whispers, blushing and poking at Sebastian’s bare shoulder—he’d striped down to his boxers some time in the middle of the night. “Sebastian, wake up.”

Kurt shakes him gently, squeaking in surprise when Sebastian snaps awake and pins him to the bed, moving so quickly Kurt barely has a chance to blink before Sebastian is hovering over him on his hands and knees, teeth bared in a low growl. He blinks down at Kurt, expression clearing and his grip on Kurt’s wrists loosening.

“Shit,” he mutters, hurrying to sit back on his heels, gaze roaming over Kurt anxiously. “Sorry, I’m not used to not waking up first, I guess.”

“It’s okay,” Kurt says, voice slightly higher than normal and heart still beating too-quick.

Sebastian still looks somewhere between concerned and unsure, rubbing the back of his neck and climbing off Kurt so he can sit up. He raises his eyebrows, eyes fixed on Kurt’s neck, and Kurt frowns.

“What?” he says, lifting his hand to brush his fingers over his neck, gasping at how tender the skin feels under his touch. He clambers off the bed and over to the mirror hanging over Sebastian’s dresser, eyes bulging in horror at the sight of the large, purpling bruise staining his skin. He runs his fingers over the mark, ignoring the shiver that runs under his skin when he presses down on the spot and it aches dully.

He rounds on Sebastian, who gives him a self-satisfied smile.

“What?” he says, shrugging and lounging back against the pillows as he surveys the mark. “It’s hot.”

Kurt glares at him and Sebastian’s smirk falters with a guilty look.

“Do you know how hard it’s going to be making sure my dad doesn’t see this?” Kurt snaps, jabbing his finger at the hickey.

“Well so what if he does?” Sebastian says defensively. “Are you really that ashamed of me that you don’t want him to find out I exist?”

Kurt frowns.

“What? Sebastian, I’m not ashamed of you.”

Sebastian gives him a dubious look and Kurt moves back over to the bed, climbing onto the mattress and straddling Sebastian’s legs where they’re stretched out in front of him. “You know the reason no one knows is because we both know our friends would throw a fit. At least mine would. And besides, I haven’t met your parents either.”

“Well that’s because they’re never here,” Sebastian mutters, brow furrowed and arms crossed moodily over his chest.

“You know what I think,” Kurt says, kissing Sebastian’s jaw lightly. “I think you’re just trying to change the subject so I don’t get mad at you for putting a mark the size of Texas on my neck.”

Sebastian grunts evasively, ignoring Kurt when he continues trying to kiss the pout out of his lips, smiling when Sebastian huffs and softens his lips against him to kiss him back. Sebastian’s arms wind around his middle and Kurt settles more fully into his lap.

“I guess maybe I’m a little sorry,” he says, mouthing gently at the mark on Kurt’s neck, careful, soothing strokes of his tongue over the red skin. “But now everyone will know you’re all mine.”

Kurt hums, gripping Sebastian’s shoulders and tilting his head back.

“They’re not going to see it,” he mumbles. “You’re lucky I own an extensive collection of scarves.”

“And what if I made it so you couldn’t hide it?” Sebastian says, catching Kurt’s hand in his own and lifting it to his mouth to suck at the tender skin on the inside of his wrist. “What if I marked you here?” He scrapes his teeth over the spot before dropping Kurt’s hand and tipping him back onto the bed, laying him out and pushing up the hem of his shirt so he can lick and bite at his hip. “Or here? What if I marked you all over so every time you move you think about me?”

“ _Sebastian_.”

Kurt’s phone rings shrilly from his bag just as Sebastian’s tongue starts to wander over the waistband of his boxers. Sebastian groans, though he allows Kurt to climb off the bed to check the message on his phone from his father wondering when he would be getting home.

“I need to go,” Kurt says apologetically, tugging his jeans on. “But we can still meet up at the Lima Bean this week right?”

Sebastian nods, moving to the edge of the bed and grabbing Kurt by his belt loops to pull him back into another kiss, lips warm and wet and tongue licking inside Kurt’s mouth. Kurt has to force himself to break away with a whimper, turning his head when Sebastian tries to kiss him again.

“I have to go, Sebastian,” he says, disentangling himself from Sebastian’s arms and dropping a kiss to the top of his head before pulling away completely. He lifts a hand in farewell to Sebastian, who falls back on the mattress with a sigh, grumbling a goodbye in response.

Kurt’s halfway back to Lima when his phone beeps with a message from Sebastian and he nearly runs into the guardrail when he reads it.

_Just wanted you to know that last night ended up being great material, babe ;)_

Kurt feels heat blooming across his cheeks when a second message comes through.

_You left your sweater, by the way. But that’s unrelated, I promise it’s still clean._

Kurt tosses his phone back on the passenger seat, twisting his hands around the steering wheel and taking a deep breath, reminding himself to teach Sebastian a lesson in tact later.

* * *

 

The following weeks pass easily enough, McKinley and the New Directions are their usual cesspool of drama, though Kurt finds himself growing more and more detached from it all with Sebastian around. He forces Sebastian to be more careful when it comes to leaving marks, though he also learns quickly that it seems to be a thing for Sebastian. On the evenings they spend tangled up on Sebastian’s bed, he always tends to end up with his shirt pushed up his torso, Sebastian’s mouth working hungrily at his hip or at the dip below his ribs, leaving his skin littered with marks that often take days to fade fully.

Kurt doesn’t exactly mind it, though. It makes him feel scandalous when he’s at school, sitting in the middle of class and pressing down on the spot under his shirt where he knows Sebastian’s mouth spent hours forming the dark bruise along his hip.

They still don’t go further than heavy kissing, though. Sebastian is surprisingly careful when it comes to stopping before things get too out of hand and Kurt has to stop them himself, and he always ends up feeling a mix of pity and affection when Sebastian sits with his head in his hands, eyes closed and shoulders rising and falling steadily as he tries to calm himself down. He always manages to make a crude joke later, however, that lessens just how much sympathy Kurt has for him.

The first time Kurt doesn’t let Sebastian stop them, they’re rutting together on his bed one afternoon after school a few days before the next moon. Kurt is lying between Sebastian’s legs, rocking his hips in slow, fluid movements, Sebastian’s hands in the back pockets of his pants to pull him down closer against him while they exchange increasingly sloppy kisses.

Sebastian breaks away with a wet smack, panting and pressing his forehead against Kurt’s with a groan.

“Babe, if we don’t stop, I—”

“I don’t want to,” Kurt breathes, grinding his hips down and shuddering at the friction against his dick through his pants.

Sebastian gives him a long, calculating look, swearing softly when Kurt doesn’t change his mind and kissing him hard, hands digging into Kurt’s ass and hips bucking up against him. His legs fall open a little wider where they’re spread on either side of Kurt’s hips and he thrusts up hard, groaning and breathing raggedly against Kurt’s cheek.

He stills, hips jerking and mouth falling open silently, and it takes Kurt a few seconds to realize Sebastian is _coming in his pants_ beneath him. His own painfully hard cock throbs in his briefs, and he bites his lip hard, eyes fixed on Sebastian’s blissed-out expression, the flush high on his cheeks, eyes glazed over and hair mussed.

“Fuck,” he mutters, grinning crookedly. He shifts under Kurt with a grimace and Kurt can’t help but moan softly at the movement, cock still straining at his underwear.

Sebastian’s eyes darken again and he flips them both over on the bed with a growl, hovering over Kurt and fumbling with his zipper. Kurt barely has a chance to catch his breath before Sebastian is licking his hand and shoving it down Kurt’s briefs to wrap it around his cock, pumping his fist in sharp jerks.

Kurt arches off the mattress with a loud moan, fingers fisting in the sheets and head twisting against the pillows. It’s nothing like when it’s his own hand, Sebastian’s long fingers slick with spit and pre-come as they move over Kurt’s cock. Kurt feels dizzy with pleasure, toes curling and lip tucked between his teeth, Sebastian’s eyes hooded and flicking between Kurt’s face and where Kurt is fucking up into the channel of his fist with frantic rolls of his hips.

His orgasm hits him suddenly, leaving him gasping and shuddering while Sebastian works him through it, come dribbling over Sebastian’s fingers and splashing over his own stomach where his shirt is rucked up around his chest.

“Oh my god,” he whines, collapsing back onto the bed and blinking away the white lights popping across his vision.

He gulps down a few deep breaths to try and steady his thumping heart, blushing when his eyes land on Sebastian, who’s staring at his fingers still slick with Kurt’s come.

“S-sorry,” Kurt says breathlessly.

“ _Kurt_ ,” Sebastian groans, voice completely wrecked and pupils blown dark when his eyes lift to Kurt again. He swallows thickly and glances back at his fingers. “Fuck, you won’t—can I—” He takes a shaky breath and Kurt’s shocked to see him trembling.

Kurt’s barely nodding his consent, more to try and calm him down than anything, before Sebastian is sucking his fingers into his mouth with a desperate, keening groan. Kurt stares in disbelief as Sebastian licks greedily at his hand, moaning and making small, needy whimpering sounds as he gathers up the smears of Kurt’s come from his skin.

When his hand is completely clean, he tugs Kurt’s pants and briefs down his hips before Kurt has a chance to protest, ducking his head down to lap eagerly at the drying come on Kurt’s stomach. Kurt grapples at Sebastian’s shoulders with a whine when Sebastian’s tongue runs along his soft, oversensitive cock, dragging over the head and flicking across the slit until the skin is completely clean.

Kurt’s dick twitches painfully, and he covers his eyes with his hand, biting his lip hard and feeling completely debauched and flushed down to his toes. He lets his hand fall away when Sebastian changes from frantic, hard licks to slow, gently laving strokes of his tongue across Kurt’s skin. Kurt tucks his arm behind his head so he can look down at Sebastian, feeling strangely cared for in the way Sebastian is attending to him.

Sebastian stops after another minute or so, carefully tucking Kurt back into his briefs and zipping his pants up for him. He nuzzles at the crease of Kurt’s thigh, resting his head on Kurt’s hip to look up at him, eyes warm and adoring. He blinks and his expression seems to clear; he shakes his head a little before giving Kurt an uneasy look.

“Shit, I—on a scale of one to ten how creeped out are you by me right now?” he says, pushing himself into a sitting position and dragging his hand through his hair.

Kurt laughs, grabbing for Sebastian’s hand and pulling him up the bed next to him.

“That was weird, wasn’t it?” Sebastian says, pulling a face.

“A little,” Kurt says, shrugging. “But it was... kind of sweet, too.”

“You just—your taste.” Sebastian groans and ducks down to catch Kurt’s lips into a deep kiss. Kurt flushes at the realization that the slightly bitter taste on Sebastian’s tongue is himself, though Sebastian is pulling back before he gets anymore of a chance to think about it.

“Will you let me blow you next time?” Sebastian says, kissing lazily along Kurt’s jaw, hand petting up and down Kurt’s arm. “Fuck, Kurt, let me blow you next time.”

“O-okay,” Kurt says, already feeling light-headed at the idea.

Sebastian grins against his neck, squeezing him around the middle before pulling away and climbing off the bed, claiming he needs to change. He returns a few minutes later dressed in nothing but a pair of Dalton sweatpants tied loosely around his hips, grinning as he crawls back onto the bed and shapes his body along Kurt’s back, breath warm on the nape of his neck and arm draped around his middle.

“Don’t you have Physics homework you need to do?” Kurt says, twisting his head around to look at him.

“Mm, just relax for a few minutes, babe,” Sebastian murmurs into Kurt’s hair, fingers stroking along Kurt’s stomach.

“You know, I think my dad is starting to get suspicious of all my ‘study sessions’ at the library,” Kurt says, absently lacing his fingers through Sebastian’s.

“Tell him we’re studying anatomy,” Sebastian says, smirking against Kurt’s neck.

“You’re terrible,” Kurt mutters.

Sebastian merely hums in response, nosing at Kurt’s hair and holding him tighter against his chest.

* * *

 

Between glee club practice and homework and spending time with Mercedes—who he’s been neglecting in favor of spending time with Sebastian lately—he doesn’t get a chance to see Sebastian that weekend. Even though they have plans to get coffee the Thursday, he gets a text from Sebastian on Tuesday requesting him to come over as soon as he gets off school that day.

Kurt tells his father he’ll be home late before heading towards Westerville, mildly surprised to find several cars in Sebastian’s driveway when he pulls in. He parks at the end of the drive and makes his way up to the front door, ringing the doorbell for good measure.

A man with greying brown hair and warm green eyes that Kurt recognizes from the photos on the walls as Sebastian’s father answers the door, peering down at Kurt through his glasses with a questioning look.

“Um, hello,” Kurt says nervously. “Is Sebastian home?”

Mr. Smythe’s eyes sweep over Kurt with the same scrutiny Kurt’s seen Sebastian wield, and Kurt tries not to fidget under his gaze. He offers Kurt a small, kind smile, however, standing back to let him inside.

“You must be Kurt,” he says, shutting the door quietly. “Sebastian said you were going to be stopping by. He’s in his room.”

Kurt hears low talking coming from the living room and he glances over Mr. Smythe’s shoulder into the room. There are several people he doesn’t recognize seated on the couch and armchairs, most of them gathered around the woman in the middle of the couch who’s clutching her face, shaking with tears.

“What’s wrong?” Kurt says uneasily.

“Sebastian didn’t tell you?” Mr. Smythe says, frowning. “Perhaps it’s best he tell you himself,” he says when Kurt shakes his head.

Mr. Smythe gestures up the stairs and Kurt opens his mouth to question him, though he falls silent when Mr. Smythe claps him on the shoulder before turning back to the living room. Kurt chews on his bottom lip for a moment before heading upstairs, feeling increasingly anxious with each step.

Sebastian’s room is dark and silent when Kurt pushes the door open, shutting it behind him and stepping inside fully.

“Sebastian?” Kurt says softly, stopping when he steps on a scrap of torn blue and red fabric stretched across the carpet. He bends to pick it up, turning it over in his fingers and feeling his stomach knot when he looks up to see a trail of shredded fabric scattered over the floor leading to the cracked door of the closet.

“Bastian?” he says nervously, padding across the carpet and pushing the closet door open wide enough for him to step inside. The strip of dim light coming through the curtains widens and shines into the corner of the closet, where Kurt can just make out the outline of a huddled, canine form curled in a tight ball against the wall.

Kurt shrugs off his coat and moves cautiously towards Sebastian, kneeling at his side and gently running his fingers through the soft fur on the top of his head. There’s a bunched bundle of fabric under Sebastian’s head that Kurt quickly recognizes as his his own sweater, the one he’d accidentally left here on New Years. He pulls his hand back when Sebastian stirs, lifting his head from where it’s nestled on the sweater and under his tail to look at Kurt. His eyes are wide and mournful, so painfully expressive and full of heartbreak that Kurt feels his own heart throb in his chest.

“What’s wrong?” he says, cradling Sebastian’s head in his hands, allowing him to lick weakly at his nose.

Sebastian whines, quiet and pleading, and Kurt scoots closer, wrapping his arms around Sebastian’s neck and allowing him to rest his head on his shoulder. Sebastian’s nose brushes cold and wet over his ear and Kurt feels his chest expand with a heavy sigh. For a long time Kurt simply sits there, carding his fingers slowly through Sebastian’s fur and hushing him until his feeble whimpers fade into silence.

“What’s wrong?” Kurt repeats, pulling back to give Sebastian a worried look. He feels helpless like this, not being able to know what Sebastian needs or how to communicate with him when he gets this way. “Talk to me, Sebastian, please.” Hot tears trickle down Kurt’s cheeks and Sebastian laps them away gently. He nuzzles against Kurt’s collarbone and Kurt turns his face into his fur, continuing to pet his hands down his back even when he feels him shifting against him.

Soon his fingers are brushing over warm skin and the nose pressed against his neck is dry, Sebastian’s breath ghosting softly over his throat. Kurt trails his fingers up and down Sebastian’s spine, stilling his movements when he feels dampness on his shoulder, Sebastian sniffing almost silently.

“Hey,” Kurt says, laying his hands on Sebastian’s shoulders so he can pull back to look at him.

Sebastian looks broken, lost and completely tragic, tears sliding silently down his cheeks, shoulders slumped and body trembling against the chill of the room.

“Here,” Kurt says, reaching behind him for his coat and draping it around Sebastian’s shoulders. “God, you must be freezing. What happened? Your dad didn’t—”

“My grandfather died,” Sebastian says, voice low and croaky from disuse. “Last night, in Paris.”

He drops his eyes to his lap and Kurt watches him trying to discreetly wipe the sleeve of Kurt’s coat across his cheeks. Kurt catches his chin in his hand, tilting his head up so he can dab at the shining tear tracks with the corner of the sleeve of his sweater.

“ _Sebastian_.” Kurt’s voice cracks and he has to blink hard to keep from crying simply over how hopeless Sebastian looks. “I’m so sorry, Bastian. I wish—is there anything I can do?”

“Don’t... don’t go,” Sebastian mumbles, eyes darting to Kurt’s face as if he’s afraid to say it.

“No,” Kurt says, shaking his head and looping his arms around Sebastian’s neck to pull him into a hug. “No, of course not.”

Sebastian doesn’t hold him back, merely gives into the pressure, body pliant and slumped in defeat. Kurt cards his fingers through Sebastian’s hair, every now and then turning his head to press a kiss to his jaw or murmur something encouraging in his ear when he feels another warm tear splash onto his collarbone.

His legs and back are starting to ache from the awkward position, but he ignores it, allowing Sebastian to tuck his face into his neck and inhale slowly until he starts to relax.

“I didn’t get to say goodbye to him,” Sebastian mumbles eventually. “The last time I saw him was when they dropped me off at the airport to come back here.”

Kurt squeezes him gently, letting his arms slide down to his sides when Sebastian pulls back. His eyes are dry, red and puffy but dry nonetheless.

“I know it’s stupid,” he says, shaking his head. “I guess... he kind of raised me for a long time.”

“It’s not stupid,” Kurt says quietly, brushing his fingers over the curve of Sebastian’s jaw. “You just lost someone you cared about, of course you’re upset.”

Sebastian’s eyes well with fresh tears, brows furrowed and jaw clenched. He tugs at his own hair, looking lost.

“I don’t—it’s not _fair_ ,” he says, voice cracking. “It’s not fair and I don’t want—I hate _feeling_ like this—I can’t—”

He squeezes his eyes shut, bowing his head and curling in on himself, hands fisted in his hair and fingers digging into his scalp. Kurt reaches out to try and lay a calming hand on his shoulder, pulling back when Sebastian’s head lifts and his eyes snap open, dangerously bright, his teeth already starting to lengthen into curved fangs.

“No, no, Sebastian, stop,” Kurt pleads, moving to Sebastian’s side and wrapping his arms around his middle to tug him against his chest even though Sebastian tries to pull away. But Kurt can’t let him, can’t let him retreat back to where he can’t reach him anymore, he refuses to feel helpless, to sit back watch him suffer without being able to do anything. He holds Sebastian’s face in his hands, trying to look him in the eye even as his vision starts to glaze and cloud and he bares his teeth in a low growl.

“Please don’t, just stay like this okay?” Kurt sobs, voice shaking and trembling hands running frantically over Sebastian’s face. “Stay like this, please, stay with me, Sebastian, don’t... don’t....”

He holds Sebastian face firmly in both hands and presses a hard, desperate kiss to his lips, tasting the faint tang of tears on his tongue and pulling back after a few seconds when Sebastian finally stops struggling. His eyes dim, expression crumpling, and Kurt catches him easily when he collapses against his chest, clutching his sweater and shuddering, low sobs muffled in Kurt’s shirt.

“I don’t _want_ it,” Sebastian says, shaking his head. “I don’t want to feel like this anymore, I don’t want to feel like I can’t do anything, I don’t want to _feel_.”

“I know,” Kurt murmurs into his hair, kissing his temple and breathing in the muted smell of his shampoo and cologne. “I know.”

“It hurts too much,” Sebastian says in a small voice.

“I know,” Kurt repeats, swiping his fingers under his eyes. “But trying to run away from it won’t make it disappear.”

“I know,” Sebastian mumbles, fingers playing absently over the stripes on Kurt’s sweater. He sighs heavily. “Sucks.” He sits up, blinking blearily and scrubbing at his eyes.

“Fuck,” he mutters, dragging his hand over his face. “I feel like shit.”

“Go take a shower, it’ll make you feel better,” Kurt says, rubbing a hand over Sebastian’s back.

Sebastian stands, Kurt’s coat falling from his shoulders to leave him naked, rolling his shoulders with a groan. He glances down at Kurt, looking tentatively hopeful.

“You’ll stay... right?”

“Of course,” Kurt says, smiling at the way Sebastian tries to mask his relief with a nod and a shrug.

He stretches his arms over his head and Kurt can’t help but appreciate how good he looks, sharp lines and hard curves of muscle and bone under smooth, freckled skin. He pauses at the door, looking back at Kurt with a small, grateful smile, backlit by the flat light filtering through the curtains.

“Thanks,” he says quietly. “For coming over. I didn’t... I didn’t want to scare you off if you knew what happened.”

“Why wouldn’t I come if I knew?” Kurt says incredulously. “Sebastian, I wouldn’t abandon you when you’re hurting. I told you, I... I care about you.”

Sebastian sweeps his fingers through his hair with a small, self-deprecating smile.

“I guess I’m just not used to it yet,” he says.

“Having someone care about you?” Kurt says sadly.

“No,” he says, avoiding Kurt’s eye, smile turning stiff. “Not being abandoned.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I completely forgot to update I'm so sorry! I have chapter nine finished and I'm working on chapter ten but I can't guarantee I'll be updating every week after next week. I've been very busy at work and a little stuck on a certain part so it's going a little slow. I promise I'm working on it though!

Sebastian leaves for Paris the next morning for the funeral. They spend the evening before cooped up in Sebastian’s bedroom, curled up beneath the sheets exchanging murmured conversations and careful touches. Sebastian is quiet after he emerges from the shower, hair damp and skin still warm with steam, drawing back behind that cool, unreadable smirk. Kurt doesn’t press him to talk again, doing his best to give comfort through soft touches and even softer words, though he still hates feeling cut off from Sebastian when he shuts down—though he knows he’s often guilty of doing the same.

He’s not sure which is worse, a Sebastian who’s hiding behind the mask of casual indifference, or the one who’s detached himself completely from his own humanity to try and escape it.

Between the time difference, Kurt being busy with school and Sebastian with his family, they both agree to stay out of contact during the time Sebastian is gone. Kurt is uneasy about the idea of Sebastian being essentially alone and emotionally compromised during the full moon—which is the night after he leaves—but he knows Sebastian has spent plenty of them alone before they met. He still can’t help but spend half the night up wondering if he’s okay.

He doesn’t receive any upset messages from Sebastian or his parents—who Kurt had briefly and awkwardly talked to before leaving Sebastian’s house that day, Sebastian grimacing when his father saw Kurt off with, “it’s finally meet the first boy Sebastian’s actually dated long enough to introduce us to”—and he takes the lack of communication as a good sign, though he’s finding himself increasingly bored without Sebastian around to talk to.

He spends his spare time usually spent with or talking to Sebastian with Mercedes instead, taking the opportunity to catch up with her and feeling slightly guilty about the way he’s been neglecting their friendship the past month. And when she asks Kurt who he’s been spending so much time with that’s been making him so much happier, he feels another twinge of shame when he brushes her off with an excuse that sounds lame even to his own ears, feeling his stomach flip when she squeezes his hand over their table in the Lima Bean with a kind, “well, whoever he is, he’s a lucky guy.” It makes Kurt miss Sebastian even more.

As much as Kurt promised himself that he’d never be a part of one of those insufferably clingy couples like Finn and Rachel were before they broke up, he can’t help that he misses Sebastian. A lot. He misses having someone who understands him, who can sense when he’s having a particularly awful day without him saying anything. He also misses the physical contact more than he thought he would. It’s much less about the sexual intimacy they’ve so tentatively started delving into, however, than it is about simply being close to someone.

Even before they were dating, there was a certain closeness between them that Kurt longs for in the moments when he’s picking himself up from the dirty hallway after being shoved into the lockers, or pulling chunks of red and purple slush from his hair in the bathroom, swallowing down the lump in his throat on the days it starts to feel like too much despite the biting retorts he always has on the sharp edge of his tongue, the cool looks that fall so easily to his features in response to the sneers and hissed insults.

If there’s one thing Kurt has always prided himself on, it’s his independence. He doesn’t need anyone, he’s learned to be self-reliant since he was eight years old and he managed to survive long before he met Sebastian. He doesn’t realize just how much having someone there to support him through the muck and mire that is Lima, Ohio and McKinley means until he’s gone. It’s only a week and a half, he knows, and he tries to bury himself in school work and glee club, but by the third day he feels close to exploding at the next person to grate his nerves.

Unsurprisingly, when Rachel showes up at his locker between classes two days before Sebastian returns from Paris, lips pursed and arms folded primly across her chest, it takes all of Kurt’s self-control not to do more than give her a haughty, questioning glare as he closes his locker and slips his books into his bag.

“Can I help you with someone, Rachel?” he says tersely.

“Why do you have a picture of _Sebastian Smythe_ in your locker?” Rachel says, following briskly behind him when he sets off down the hall towards his chemistry class.

“Because I’m dating him,” Kurt replies in a flat voice, though he feels his face warm as he remembers the picture of Sebastian pinned to the inside of his locker door that Sebastian had given him the week before because, “I don’t know, isn’t that what people who are dating do, stop grinning, shut up”.

“I think the more prudent question is why do you care?” he adds when Rachel’s eyes bug.

“Maybe because he’s our _competition_?” Rachel says with an incredulous scoff.

“Says the girl who dated Jesse last year,” Kurt says, turning to her with a raised eyebrow.

“That was different,” Rachel says dismissively, though her cheeks pink faintly. “If anything, you should have learned from my mistake,” she adds with a sniff when Kurt clucks his tongue and rolls his eyes.

“Sebastian and I have never talked about glee club competitions,” Kurt says with an air of finality. “We do both actually have better things to do. And it’s really none of your business who I choose to spend my time with.”

“Is he the reason you’ve been acting so... weird lately?” Rachel says suspiciously.

“Define ‘weird’,” Kurt replies.

“I don’t know,” Rachel says with a thoughtful look. “You’ve been acting... _drifty_.”

“Drifty,” Kurt deadpans.

“Yeah, like the other day in glee club when I was singing a wonderful rendition of _The Way We Were_ , you were barely paying attention.” She gives him an accusatory, wounded look as she finishes, huffing and crossing her arms over her chest. “You know Regionals is in two months, Kurt.”

“Yes, Rachel, and I’m sure you’ll do a fantastic job on your solo, _as usual_ ,” Kurt says, voice raising dangerously, his frayed nerves shortening his already limited tolerance, “but I’ve heard you sing plenty of times so you’ll excuse me if my attention isn’t one hundred percent focused on you every time you open your mouth when my boyfriend is on the other side of the ocean for his grandfather’s funeral. I have to go to class. I’ll see you in glee club.”

He ignores her wide, apologetic eyes and her meek, “I’m sorry, Kurt,” striding past her down the hall towards his next class. He doesn’t realize he’s passing a group of football players until Azimio’s shoulder collides heavily with his own, throwing him off-balance and sending him stumbling into the wall of lockers.

“Watch it there, Hummel, you’ll break a heel,” Karofsky drawls, earning loud, mocking laughter from the rest of the group.

Kurt ignores them, hitching his bag back onto his shoulder and lifting his chin haughtily, marching purposefully away from their jeering even as his stomach churns sourly and his temper so perilously close to breaking evaporates into something cold and tense—and once incredibly familiar—that settles heavy in his gut and doesn’t leave for the rest of the day.

* * *

****

He’s stretched out on his stomach trying to work on his homework that evening—though he keeps getting distracted looking at his phone where it’s been lying silent on his desk for the past two hours—when there’s a timid knock at his door and he glances up to see Finn pushing into the room with an apprehensive expression.

“Yes, Finn?” Kurt says with a sigh, setting down his pen.

“Rachel told me some of the guys from the football team were pushing you around earlier,” Finn says. He frowns. “Well... she kind of yelled it at me and said something about me being a bad brother and some other stuff, I kind of tuned her out. It’s hard pay attention when she gets angry and plus I didn’t have lunch today and—anyway, I just wanted to say I’m sorry. For what they did.” He shuffles awkwardly on the spot when he finishes, rubbing the back of his neck and grimacing.

“Thank you,” Kurt says, giving him a stiff smile. “It’s fine, though. I know you and Sam and the other guys tried to stop them and it’s not your fault, okay?”

Finn nods, though he still looks guilty, and, when Kurt gives him an expectant look, rather than leaving he steps further into the room and nudges Kurt’s knees so he can sit on the bed next to him, ignoring Kurt’s exasperated sigh.

“Rachel said you were dating that Sebastian kid, too,” Finn says, seemingly oblivious to Kurt’s annoyance.

Kurt’s posture turns rigid.

“No, no, dude, I’m not mad or anything,” Finn assures him quickly, and Kurt relaxes slightly. “Um, I just wanted to, uh, make sure he’s, you know, treating you right and stuff.”

Kurt raises a sceptical eyebrow at him; he thinks he’d laugh at how out of his element Finn looks if he wasn’t so uncomfortable himself with the entire conversation.

“It’s what Rachel told me to say,” Finn mumbles crossly, plucking at a loose thread on his t-shirt.

“Finn, as much as I appreciate what you’re trying to do, it’s really not necessary,” Kurt says, pushing himself into a sitting position to face Finn on the bed. “Just because our parents are married doesn’t mean we have to talk about this stuff. I promise. I mean I definitely don’t want to get involved in whatever it is that’s happening between you, Quinn, and Rachel. Trust me.”

Finn pulls a discomfited, sheepish look, and Kurt would chastise him for stringing both girls along if he wasn’t sure that he was already suffering enough for it.

“Thank you, though,” Kurt says with a small, genuine smile. “If I need any brotherly advice, you’re the first one I’ll come to.”

Finn nods sharply, standing and giving Kurt an awkward sort of half salute before leaving with a relieved look.

Kurt rolls his eyes and turns back to his homework, though he doesn’t manage to read more than a few sentences before he gives up and closes his book with a sigh, eyes landing on his phone again. He flips his book shut and sprawls back on the pillows, staring blankly at the ceiling and trying not to let his mind wander to what had happened earlier that day when his shoulder aches as he stretches to work out the kinks in his body.

His phone rings loudly from his desk and he stares at it in confusion for a few seconds as Sebastian’s ringtone blares from the speaker.

_My fingers claw your skin, try to tear my way in_

_You are the moon that breaks the night for which I have to howl_

“Hello?”

“Hey, babe.”

Kurt can practically feel the stress wane from his muscles at the sound of Sebastian’s hushed, groggy voice, and he can’t stop himself from smiling as he lies back down on his bed, phone pressed to his ear.

“I thought we weren’t going to talk this week,” Kurt says, careful to keep any accusation out of his voice. “Plus won’t this cost a fortune? I don’t want my dad to kill me.”

“Relax,” Sebastian whispers. “I’ll be the only one charged for it, I’ll deal with my parents getting pissy.”

“Is something wrong?” Kurt says, voice lowered almost to meet Sebastian’s though he knows he has no reason to keep quiet. “Isn’t it like... two am there?”

“Quarter after,” Sebastian says.

“Shouldn’t you be asleep?” Kurt says. “You have a flight tomorrow night.”

“I know,” Sebastian sighs. He clears his throat softly and Kurt hears something rustling on the other end followed by the gentle creak of bedsprings.

“So _is_ something wrong?” Kurt says nervously.

“No,” Sebastian says evasively.

“Then why are you calling?” Kurt says, frowning. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Sebastian says, starting to sound irritated. “Can’t I just... can’t I just want to talk to you?”

Kurt’s reply dies on his tongue, something warm and pleasant blooming in his chest while Sebastian huffs and mutters indecipherably under his breath on the other end.

“I dunno,” Sebastian mutters. “I’ve kind of missed you this week and I—a part of me just felt like I had to call you today.”

“At two am?” Kurt says, though he’s smiling as he says it.

“I didn’t know if you had plans tonight, I didn’t want to call when you were busy,” Sebastian mumbles.

“It’s okay, Sebastian,” Kurt says with a soft laugh. “If we’re being perfectly honest, I’m actually really glad you called. I had kind of a shitty day.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, um, Rachel saw the picture you gave me and confronted me about it so naturally the entire glee club knows we’re dating.” Kurt sighs and turns on his side, tucking one of his pillows against his chest.

“Shit, they aren’t mad at you are they?” Sebastian says, voice slurred through a long yawn.

“No, I don’t think so,” Kurt replies. “At least, none of them said anything other than Rachel. Well, Finn tried to have a ‘brother chat’ with me but that was just awkward mostly.”

Sebastian lets out a low, sleepy hum of amusement and Kurt hears him muffle another yawn into his hand.

“You should sleep,” Kurt says. “Really, we can talk more when you get back. I don’t want your parents confiscating your phone or anything for racking up a two hundred dollar long distance bill.”

“Alright,” Sebastian yawns. “I’ll see you in a few days, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Kurt says. “Let me know when you land.”

“Kay,” Sebastian says distractedly, sounding seconds away from drifting off. “Night, babe.”

“Goodnight, Bastian.”

Sebastian lets out a pleased little sound before the line clicks as he hangs up, and Kurt tosses his phone onto his nightstand, hiding his grin in his pillow, the sinking weight that had hung heavy in his chest since that afternoon lifting slightly.

* * *

****

It’s late Saturday afternoon when Kurt gets the text.

_Just landed, be home soon. Come over?_

He makes the excuse to his father of going to a movie with Tina and Mercedes, glaring warningly at Finn when he frowns curiously. When he pulls into Sebastian’s driveway two hours later—he’d dawdled for twenty minutes getting changed and wrestling with his hair—he’s greeted by Sebastian’s father, who’s busy shoveling snow off the front walk.

“Ah, now I see why Sebastian was ‘too busy’ to help,” he says, leaning against the shovel as Kurt wades through the uncleared snow.  “And here I thought he might be catching up on homework or unpacking the mess in his suitcase.”

“Sorry,” Kurt says with a grimace, blushing.

“I was a teenager once too, Kurt,” Mr. Smythe says with a dismissive wave of his hand and a knowing smile. “He’s upstairs.”

Kurt gives him a mumbled thanks before skirting around him and hurrying up the walk into the house. He sheds his coat and boots in the entry, making his way up the stairs to Sebastian’s room, where he can hear music coming through the closed door.

He pushes the door open, a soft smile falling on his face at the sight of Sebastian on the other side of the room, bent over his suitcase and humming along to the music playing softly on his stereo, his shirt discarded on the bed.

“I hope you know that I didn’t come over here just to be your booty call,” Kurt says, shutting the door behind him and grinning when Sebastian stills and looks over his shoulder at him with a mildly surprised look. “So if you can put your shirt back on.”

He’s barely two steps further into the room before Sebastian is on him, pushing him back against the wall and nosing at his jaw and throat with quiet snuffling sounds, burying his face into the side of Kurt’s neck and inhaling long and sharp, letting out a stuttering, relieved groan against Kurt’s skin.

“You know, to anyone else this would be really weird, right?” Kurt says absently, hand smoothing automatically over Sebastian’s back, nails scratching lightly down the warm skin.

“I missed you,” Sebastian mumbles grumpily, though he shifts closer to Kurt until his chest is pressed flush against his own, hands braced on the wall and lips dragging over the spot behind Kurt’s ear.

“Me or my apparently strangely intoxicating smell?” Kurt teases, laughing when Sebastian hushes him and presses his index finger to Kurt’s lips, his own turning up in a grin against Kurt’s ear.

He leans back, looking down at Kurt with a lopsided, fond smile. He has a weary look to him, dark bags under his bleary eyes, skin pallid and drained, though the upturn of his lips and the warmth in his eyes softens the effect. There’s a fading bruise just on his jawbone, Kurt brushing his fingertips lightly over the spot with a concerned frown.

“What happened?” he says, pushing back Sebastian’s hair where it’s falling over his forehead and letting his thumb ghost over the healing cut at his hairline.

“It’s nothing, babe,” Sebastian says breezily. “Do you really want to talk about me running around the woods when you haven’t seen me in a week?”

When his fingers curl under Kurt’s chin, Kurt clucks his tongue but automatically tips his head back, eyes drifting shut when Sebastian kisses him, tongue sliding over Kurt’s bottom lip and fingers cupping Kurt’s jaw. Kurt hums happily into the kiss, smiling when Sebastian deepens it with a needy whine, tongue thrusting into Kurt’s mouth and hand tangling in Kurt’s hair to angle his head back farther.

Sebastian growls lowly and Kurt feels the catch of teeth on his lower lip, sharp and stinging, and he gasps against Sebastian’s mouth, heart stuttering. Sebastian steps back suddenly, clearing his throat and rubbing the back of his neck as he blinks away the brightness in his eyes.

“Sorry,” he says, pulling a look of anxious guilt, teeth shrinking back from where they’re poking out from under his lip. “I didn’t—sorry.”

Kurt runs his, tongue curiously over his lower lip, the fading pinpricks of pain where Sebastian’s teeth had bite down into the soft flesh.

“It’s okay,” he says with a reassuring smile. “Come on, tell me about your week. Are you doing okay?”

Sebastian nods, moving to the bed to tug on his t-shirt and flipping the music off before settling down next to Kurt on the edge of the mattress.

“Actually,” Sebastian begins, tone one of a contained, nervous energy. “It was kind of great. Not the funeral and stuff, that sucked,” he continues when Kurt frowns. He’s practically vibrating when he turns to face Kurt, eyes shining with excitement. “Kurt, I met someone else. Someone like me.”

It takes a few seconds for what he’s saying to sink into Kurt’s brain.

“O-oh. That... that’s great, Sebastian,” he says when Sebastian’s expressions falters.

“Yeah,” Sebastian says, enthusiastic grin returning. “I ran into her during the moon in the woods.”

Kurt relaxes at the word ‘her’, his tense smile softening with relief. He knows it would be petty to feel jealous of some nameless boy Sebastian met in Paris, but ever since he’d realized how powerless he felt to be completely cut off from Sebastian when he shifted, there’s been a quiet, nagging voice in the back of his brain that’s been telling him that no matter what he does or how hard he tries to be what Sebastian’s needs, he’ll never be enough. Not really. Not like that.

“That’s great, Sebastian,” he repeats, glad to hear the sincerity in his own voice.

“Her name’s Dominique,” Sebastian continues with an eager nod. “She’s a few years older than us, she said she was bitten when she was seven. She’s not even the only one.” He turns to Kurt with a look of mingled disbelief and exhilaration. “There’s an entire pack of them.” His expression falls slightly, brow furrowing as his eyes drop to his hands. “Right there in the city. I never even knew they were there.”

His smile turns vaguely bitter and self-deprecating and he sweeps his hand through his hair before pinching the bridge of his nose with a short, humourless laugh and a mumbled, “fuck”.

“Hey,” Kurt says gently, laying his hand on Sebastian’s arm and smiling sadly when he turns to him with wide, unguarded eyes.

“I spent almost four years thinking I would never meet someone else like me,” Sebastian says, looking back at his fingers again with a small shake of his head. “And they were right there the entire time.”

“Sebastian...”

“She even has a mate,” Sebastian continues with a distant look. “Dominique, I mean.”

“Mate?” Kurt says curiously.

Sebastian nods. “Yeah,” he says with a dismissive shrug of his shoulder. He clears his throat and straightens up with a soft scoff. “She said we’re meant to pair off with each other, something about it being our fate to find our partner or something like that. She was a little weird, actually.” He bumps his shoulder against Kurt’s with a wink and a grin that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “It’s a load of crap, right? Soulmates and destiny and all that. Besides, I don’t need a ‘mate’, I’ve got you, right?”

Kurt nods and smiles meekly in reply, giving in easily when Sebastian tugs him tighter against his side so he can trail languid kisses down the curve of his neck with a contented hum. Kurt blinks away the burn behind his eyes and swallows back the lump in his throat, biting his lip hard to fight down the sob clawing at his chest when Sebastian’s nose brushes over his ear and he murmurs, “I did miss you. A lot,” against his skin.

When Sebastian’s lowers him gently back onto the bed so they’re lying on their sides and turns Kurt’s head to catch his lips against his own, Kurt kisses him back fiercely, one hand resting on Sebastian’s cheek and the other clinging to his shirt so tightly his fingers are white. Sebastian groans and rolls them both over so his weight is resting warm and heavy on top of Kurt, mouth dragging wetly over Kurt’s chin to the hollow of his throat, and Kurt’s fingers curl and dig into the firm muscles of Sebastian’s back.

He knows for certain now. As much as he cares about Sebastian and as much as Sebastian may care about him, in the end it’s never going to be enough.

He’s holding a ticking time bomb in his hands, but the closer he feels it get to blowing up in his face, the harder he wants to hold on.

Because Sebastian is wild and reckless and infuriating and Kurt is so far gone over him.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it's been so long since I've updated. A combination of being busy at work, the loss of Cory, going to Chris' signing and a very sick husband left me little time to get into the story enough to finish the next chapter. Chapter 10 IS finished (it's a bit short but 11 will make up for it) and I have over 2k of 11 written. So hopefully you won't have to wait too long for another update. But thank you for your patience! :)

Kurt’s not quite sure how he ended up in his current position, stretched out on his back on Sebastian’s bed with his hands curled in the sheets and his lip tucked between his teeth while Sebastian’s tongue strokes along the underside of his cock. He vaguely remembers Sebastian telling him his parents were out that evening and the way their close cuddling during the movie had turned into kissing but it’s all a bit of a blur of warm hands and wet lips and shivering skin from there.

He feels flushed and wired, nerves jumping at every swipe and glide of Sebastian’s tongue and lips on the sensitive skin. Every now and then Sebastian lets out a low, appreciative groan, swallowing around Kurt’s cock and sending vibrations along it, and Kurt is sure this whole thing is going to be over embarrassingly quickly if Sebastian keeps sinking his lips down so far and moaning like Kurt’s the best thing he’s ever tasted.

His toes keep curling, breath hitching and spine bowing off the bed as he swallows back broken whines and low groans each time Sebastian does something particularly sinful with his tongue.

Sebastian hollows out his cheeks with a hard suck before pulling back to circle his tongue along the ridge of Kurt’s cock, looking up at him with a dark, knowing smirk, fingers shaping around the base of Kurt’s cock to squeeze and pump gently. He looks wild, cheeks stained with color and forehead gleaming with sweat, lips red and spit-slicked and swollen, hair a complete mess from Kurt running his fingers through it and tugging at the roots. It’s his eyes, however, that punch the breath from Kurt’s lungs; they’re brilliant, shocking green, marbling in from his eyelids to the wide, liquid dark pupils.

His grin widens smugly at the look on Kurt’s face, lips curving up as the tip of his tongue dips into the slit of Kurt’s cock. Something bright and intense hits his nerves and his hands fly to Sebastian’s hair as he comes, eyes sliding shut and muscles coiling tight under his skin. The tension snaps and he sinks back into the sheets with a hard exhale, fingers dropping from Sebastian’s hair onto the bed again.

He drapes his arm over his eyes, panting and whining softly as he tries to clear away the light-headed, hazy feeling from his brain. He hears Sebastian grunt quietly and lifts his arm, blinking dazedly down at him. He watches Sebastian palm over the hard line of his dick through his jeans for a few seconds before he stills, eyes closed and face screwed up in pleasure. He slumps on the spot, licking his lips and looking slightly disoriented. Kurt bumps his knee against Sebastian’s own and Sebastian looks up at him with a crooked, lewd grin.

“You know,” he says, crawling up the bed on wobbly limbs to drop a languid kiss to Kurt’s lips. “If we keep doing this this way, I’ll run out of clothes.”

“And then you’ll have to walk around naked,” Kurt says, feeling bold. He let’s out a long-suffering sigh. “Awful.”

Sebastian chuckles, voice warm and raspy in Kurt’s ear.

“You taste amazing,” he murmurs. “And don’t pretend like you couldn’t love to see me walk around naked.” His voice is low and rough from the abuse on his throat, stirring something heady in Kurt’s belly. “There are people who would pay for that privilege, babe.”

Kurt snorts quietly, turning away when Sebastian nips at his ear and pushing at his chest. “You certainly know how to ruin the moment,” he says, wriggling back on the bed to he’s sitting propped against the pillows. “Asshole.”

Sebastian hums and rests his head against Kurt’s hip, making a sleepy sound of contentment when Kurt combs his fingers through his hair. He knows it’s only a matter of time until Sebastian’s instinctual, post-orgasm desire to cuddle wears off and he pulls away again. Sure enough, hardly a minute passes before he’s sitting up and moving to the edge of the bed, clearing his throat and brushing his fingers through his rumpled hair.

It’s been a few weeks since Sebastian came back from Paris, and even though Kurt’s been growing more confident with his body—his baby fat is disappearing and the way Sebastian looks at him appreciatively doesn’t exactly hurt—and they’ve been more physically intimate lately, he feels like Sebastian is pulling further away from him each day. He sees the far off look in Sebastian’s eyes when he thinks Kurt isn’t paying attention, the wistful, lonely expression he gets when he mentions Paris and Dominique.

“I need to clean up,” Sebastian mutters after a minute’s silence. He stands and peels off his shirt and steps out of his jeans and boxers before heading towards the bathroom.

“Sebastian, what is that?”

Sebastian stops and looks back at Kurt, eyebrows lifted in question, and Kurt does up his pants and slides to the edge of the bed to reach for him.

“Round two already, babe?” Sebastian says, smirking.

Kurt ignores him and turns him around so he can look at his back, fingers trailing carefully over the long, jagged cuts running down his shoulders and back. They’re a few days old and not anything terribly deep, but the sight still makes Kurt’s stomach turn with concern.

“What did you do?” he says quietly.

“It’s not a big deal,” Sebastian scoffs, shrugging off Kurt’s hands . “I just decided to do a little exploring in the woods the other night and I got turned around.”

“I thought you stayed where you knew you were safe? And doesn’t anyone ever wonder why you always look like you’ve been fighting?” Kurt says. “People are going to start asking questions, Sebastian. Or you’ll get caught or—”

“I’m not going to get caught; and no one cares if I’m fighting outside of school; besides, it adds to my broody mystique, don’t you think?” Sebastian says. “How do you think I became the leader of the Warblers so quickly?” He brushes his fingers over Kurt’s neck with an exaggerated wink. “Don’t worry about it, babe.”

Kurt bites back his retort, giving Sebastian a strained smile in reply and allowing him to head into the bathroom, the sound of water reaching his ears not long after as he lies back on the bed and stares up at the ceiling, feeling somewhere between anger, worry, and helplessness.

He hadn’t thought about it much when it had happened, having been too focused on his own safety and the shock of the following morning, but lately he’s been thinking back to the night Sebastian first helped him in the alley behind Scandals. Sebastian hadn’t hesitated to put himself in harm’s way for someone he barely knew and while at the time Kurt had felt touched by it, he’s beginning to see that perhaps Sebastian’s reckless streak runs much deeper than that. He’s starting to fear that Sebastian’s going to seek out danger soon just for the thrill of it; given the increasing frequency of his self-inflicted wounds, Kurt’s afraid he already has if only by going out of his comfort zone on the night’s he shifts.

“You’re thinking much too hard for someone who just had an orgasm.”

Kurt cranes his neck to look at Sebastian where he’s grinning at him from the bathroom doorway, dressed in a pair of boxers and a shirt that stretches over his shoulders, the collar cutting down so Kurt can see the freckles dotting his collarbones.

“A very excellent orgasm, I might add,” Sebastian continues smugly. When Kurt doesn’t respond, his expression falls into a small frown. “What?” he says, scoffing and rolling his eyes after a few seconds. “You’re not still upset about my back, are you? I told you it’s nothing. So stop worrying,” he adds, grinning as he climbs back onto the bed and crowds into Kurt’s space. “But if you’re really that upset you could always kiss it better.”

“I’m not kissing your dirty back scratches,” Kurt grumbles, shoving at his shoulder and turning away when Sebastian tries to kiss him.

“You could always give me a few scratches of your own,” Sebastian mumbles against his ear where his mouth ends instead of Kurt’s lips.

“You cause enough damage to yourself without my help,” Kurt says, scowling even as he tangles his fingers in Sebastian’s hair.

“C’mon, you know you liked playing nurse to me that night after Scandals,” Sebastian says and grins against Kurt’s neck.

“That was when I thought you were a lovable stray and not the guy who said I had ‘needy bottom’ written all over me,” Kurt says.

“Are you saying I’m _not_ a lovable stray?” Sebastian replies, leaning back to give him a look of mock affront. “And you haven’t exactly disproven that assumption, babe.”

“Yes, but _you’ve_ managed to prove _my_ assumption that you’re a complete asshole,” Kurt says as Sebastian goes back to kissing his ear.

“And yet you’re still here, in my bed, letting me suck you off and worrying about me more than my own mother,” Sebastian whispers, breath warm and feathery on Kurt’s skin.

Kurt tugs at Sebastian’s hair so their faces are a few inches apart, Sebastian’s lips turned up in a challenging smirk.

“Please don’t talk about giving blowjobs and your mother in the same sentence,” Kurt says, making his voice quiet to match Sebastian’s.

Sebastian laughs, bright and pleased, and Kurt can’t help but smile reluctantly, feeling somewhat relaxed by Sebastian’s reassurances. And when Sebastian suggests they try and finish they’re movie—”if it gets boring again, though, I’m not responsible for my actions”—Kurt agrees and tries not to think too hard about the raised lines on Sebastian’s skin under his shirt when his fingers trace down his back.

* * *

 

“Kurt, are you even listening to me?”

“Hmm?” Kurt glances up from his phone at the very irritated Rachel Berry standing next to him, giving him an expectant look.

“Obviously not,” Rachel huffs.

Kurt resists rolling his eyes with difficulty and closes out of the increasingly sexual conversation he’s been having with Sebastian since he’d first messaged him that he was bored during Kurt’s second period. Now Sebastian is in study hall and Kurt has glee club and he’s been sitting in the back of the classroom trying not to let the flush creep up his face while Sebastian lists all the things he’s planning to do to him when he comes to Kurt’s house after school since Finn has basketball practice and Burt and Carole won’t be home until later that evening.

“Were you texting _Sebastian_?” Rachel says, eyes wide and disbelieving as she grabs for Kurt’s phone.

“That’s none of your business,” Kurt says, snatching his phone out of her reach and matching her glare.

“But we’re _rehearsing_ ,” Rachel splutters.

“I assure you, Sebastian and I have much better things to discuss than whatever heart-wrenching ballad you’ll be singing at Regionals,” Kurt mumbles. “And I promise to do an extra good job of swaying in the background if you’ll leave me alone.”

“You spend too much time with him,” Rachel says matter-of-factly. “Finn says you’re over at his house all the time.”

“Once or twice a week is hardly ‘all the time’, Rachel,” Kurt scoffs. “And, once again, how is my relationship with Sebastian any of your—or Finn’s—business? And another thing, how would Quinn react if she knew you and Finn were spending somuch time together?”

Rachel blushes and Kurt feels vaguely triumphant.

“We’re allowed to be friends,” she says stiffly, fussing with the cuff of her sweater and sniffing.

“Right,” Kurt says, standing and hooking his bag over his shoulder when the bell rings to signal the end of class. “Well, I’m going to English where, fortunately, you can’t follow me, so I’ll see you at later, Rachel.”

He hurries into the throng of people heading into the hall before she has a chance to argue, slipping his phone out of his pocket so he can read Sebastian’s latest message, heat flooding his face as he does.

_I miss the taste of you in my mouth_

Before he can do more than choke on his own breath, his phone is knocked out of his hands and sent skidding across the floor and someone is pushing him hard into the nearest wall of lockers. He lets out a sharp cry when the lock digs into his ribs and his shoulder bangs into the metal, sending bright pain up his side and down his arm.

“What did I say about ignoring me when I’m talking to you, homo?”

Kurt winces and rubs at his arm, inhaling sharply when Azimio takes hold of his shoulders and shoves him back against the lockers again, hard enough that Kurt know’s he’s going to have bruises on his back by the end of the day.

“Well?” Azimio snarls, poking at Kurt’s chest while Karofsky and the rest of their lackeys sneer and keep watch behind him. “Didn’t I say to pay attention when I’m talking to you?”

He prods at Kurt’s shoulder and Kurt bites down hard on his tongue to keep from wincing when another jagged flash of pain burns down his back.

“Yes, you’ve made it very clear,” Kurt grits out through his teeth. “Now get away from me. And maybe consider brushing your teeth every now and then.”

“Excuse me?” Azimio shouts, slamming him back against the locker again when another rough shove at his chest.

“Teacher,” Karofsky hisses, tugging at the sleeve of Azimio’s letterman jacket while the other boys start to scatter.

Azimio glances down the hall at where the Geography teacher is walking towards them. He swears under his breath, glaring at Kurt like it’s his fault.

“You got off easy this time, Hummel,” he growls. “Next time remember to show some respect to your betters.”

Karofsky tosses Kurt’s phone at him before they both hurry off in the opposite direction.

“I’ll do that if I ever see one of them,” Kurt mumbles, pocketing his phone and wincing as he rolls his shoulders and tenderly touches the spot on his ribs where he can already feel a bruise forming. “Fantastic.”

He sighs and straightens his shirt, carefully fixing his hair before he adjusts his bag on his shoulder and continues towards his next class.

* * *

 

Kurt has barely opened the door that afternoon before Sebastian is backing him up the stairs with an almost predatory look.

“Since when did you get such a dirty mouth,” Sebastian says, crowding into Kurt’s space at the top of the stairs and gripping hard at his hips, fingers digging into his jeans. “It’s hard to focus on the French Revolution when you’re sending me messages about wanting me to make you come in my mouth again.”

Kurt stumbles a little as he steps backwards into his room, face warming with embarrassment at his own bold words.

“Missed you so much,” Sebastian groans, shrugging out of his Dalton blazer before his hands find Kurt’s hips again, squeezing roughly and hoisting him up off the ground as if he weighs nothing. Kurt legs fall easily around his waist, arms looping around his shoulders and head tilting back when Sebastian buries his face in his neck and breathes in deeply.

“Missed your scent,” Sebastian murmurs, nosing at Kurt’s jaw and ear. “It’s so hard being away from you this close to the moon. I go crazy in class.”

Kurt hums, fisting his hand in the hair at the base of Sebastian’s skull to yank his head back and catch his lips in kiss that’s more clacking teeth and exchanging hot breath than it is kissing.

“Need you,” Sebastian whines desperately. “Need to touch you, Kurt, I need to taste you now.”

Kurt yelps in surprise when Sebastian tosses him down on the bed, flipping him over onto his stomach before his back can hit the mattress. He tucks his arms under his head, fingers curling in the sheets as Sebastian presses his nose between his legs, digging into his crotch with little needy sounds. Kurt’s face warms with embarrassment, whole body inching up the bed as Sebastian snuffles at his balls through his jeans, leaving his dick twitching painfully against the constricting fabric.

Sebastian lets out a little huffing sneeze, so dog-like that Kurt has to bite back a smile, before moving up the bed, nipping at Kurt’s ass and pushing up the hem of his sweater to kiss wetly at the base of his spine.

“You smell _so good_ ,” he groans, hands grabbing and squeezing at Kurt’s ass while his mouth continues to work over the small of his back. “It’s drives me insane, Kurt, fuck, I feel like I’m high.”

Kurt’s so lost in the hungry way Sebastian is sucking marks up from the bottom of his spine that he doesn’t even think about what happened earlier with Azimio until Sebastian stops suddenly when Kurt’s sweater is shoved up around his armpits.

He frowns in confusion at first, twisting his head to the side to ask Sebastian why he stopped, falling silent when he sees Sebastian’s expression. His eyes are fixed on Kurt’s back, where he knows his skin is littered with dark bruises and a few shallow cuts. He chews anxiously on his bottom lip when Sebastian brushes his thumb lightly over one of the larger bruises, eyes unreadable as they roam over Kurt’s skin.

“Seb—”

“Who?” Sebastian says, eyes still fixed on Kurt’s back, voice hard and cold.

“Sebastian, it’s fine, I—” Kurt tried to wiggle out from under where Sebastian is sitting heavily on the back of his thighs.

He squeaks when Sebastian pins his wrists to the bed, not gripping them but covering them with his own broad hands, though Kurt can tell he’s being careful in stark contrast to how rough and frantic they were being just minutes before.

“Who?” he repeats in a low, dangerous growl, shoulders rising and falling and breath hot on Kurt’s neck as he settles protectively over his back, green eyes already turning bright.

“Sebastian,” Kurt pleads weakly. “Please calm down, it’s not a big deal.”

“They _hurt_ you,” Sebastian snarls, and Kurt’s chest throbs at the way his voice breaks. “Who was it, Kurt? If you don’t tell me I’ll find out myself.”

Kurt sighs, eyes prickling with resigned tears.

“Azimio,” he mumbles. “He... he’s just some idiot that goes to school with me.”

Sebastian’s weight is gone from his back in an instant and Kurt barely has time to roll over and hurry into the hall after him with a shout of, “don’t hurt him!” before Sebastian is gone, disappearing through the back door.

* * *

 

Sebastian smells him before he even enters the locker room, the acrid, stale smell of sweat and cheap body spray that makes him wrinkle his nose in disgust. His ears twitch at the sound of loud, obnoxious laughter and he pauses in the entry at the first row of lockers, eyes sweeping briefly across scattered wet towels and gym bags strewn over the benches and floors before landing on the only two occupants of the room, two burly boys still dressed in training jerseys and laughing at something on one of the boy’s phones.

There’s a loud, wet splashing sound from the phone and they both let out a loud, sympathetic groan that quickly morphs back into cruel laughter.

“Wonder how long it took Hummel to fix his make-up after that one,” one of the boys says, sneering while the other boy pockets his phone.

“Bet he cried in the bathroom afterwards,” he continues, smirking as he turns back to his open locker, forehead creasing in a frown when he spots Sebastian.

“You need something, pretty boy?” the first boy says aggressively, eyeing Sebastian’s Dalton tie and slacks, wrinkled from Kurt’s hands and from rolling around on his bed.

“Which one of you is Azimio?” Sebastian says coolly.

“You the hell wants to know?” the boy closest to him says, shutting his locker with a sharp snap and taking a menacing step forward.

“Wait,” the other boy says, looking at Sebastian like he’s straining to remember something. “Isn’t that the kid in Hummel's locker?”

The first boy looks Sebastian up and down before nodding slowly, mouth turning up in a sneer.

“Yeah,” he says. He nudges the other boy with his elbow. “Looks like Hummel’s found another little fairy to be his boyfriend.”

Sebastian’s lips twitch, nostrils flaring as he inhales, catching a faint whiff of the scent he now recognizes as what had been clinging to Kurt’s clothes. He’d ignored it earlier, assuming he’d just run into someone in the hallway, but now that he knows this boy’s hands were on him, hurting him, he can feel the adrenaline flooding his blood and pounding across his heart, hands curling into fists at his sides.

“Get out,” he growls at the other boy, snarling and letting his eyes flash dangerously when he scoffs.

“Wait,” he says, grabbing the boy’s arm as he passes. “Give me your phone.”

The boy almost argues until he catches the wild look in Sebastian’s eyes, hastening to obey and nearly dropping his phone before shoving it into Sebastian’s hand.

“You’re really gonna let this scrawny homo scare you off?” Azimio calls after him, scoffing when he’s ignored.

“So what are you gonna do?” he says, looking back at Sebastian and squaring his shoulders.

Sebastian ignores him, fiddling with the phone in his hands to pull up the video the two of them had been watching. It’s grainy, poorly shot cell phone footage of one of the McKinley hallways; he watches the backs of several snickering boys in letterman jackets approaching Kurt where he’s standing at his locker, shifting through the books inside. His stomach lurches at the sight of his own picture pinned next to those of Kurt’s friends on the inside of the door, fingers white around the flimsy plastic as the group of boys stops behind him and one of them calls Kurt’s name.

He turns, gasping as he’s greeted with a face full of icy, colored slush. It drips down from his face and hair, soaking his clothes and books as he stands frozen in disbelief as the hall around him fills with mocking laughter. Sebastian watches him shiver, eyes filling with tears, before he shuts his locker and stalks silently past the catcalling boys towards the bathroom.

Sebastian shuts the video off, eyes lifting to the boy standing across from him, watching the smug expression flicker into something wary.

“You think this is funny?” Sebastian says, fighting to keep his voice steady as he holds up the phone, to keep the wolf that’s clawing to get out from breaking through.

The boy smirks, folding his arms over his chest and shrugging.

“Putting the little fairy in his place?” he grunts. “Yeah, it’s pretty funny. Why, you looking for a two for one deal?”

Sebastian hears the plastic and glass crunching under his fingers, though he barely feels it slicing through his skin as he crushes the phone, circuit boards snapping and cracking loudly. He lets the pieces drop to the ground, ignoring the warm, slick drip of blood over his fingers and down his wrist.

Azimio is staring at him fearfully now, eyes wide and mouth gaping.

“What the _hell_ , dude,” he mutters. “ _Freak_!”

Sebastian chuckles lowly, giving up on fighting the creature in his chest as he takes a step forward, hackles raised and eyes glowing. Azimio tries to back away from him, stumbling on his own shoes and holding up his hands defensively.

“That’s right,” Sebastian growls, shoulders hunching as his bones start to crack and shift, clothes popping and tearing at the seams. “ _Freak_.”

* * *

 

Kurt’s been pacing his room for the past hour, checking occasionally out the back window for the familiar shape of Sebastian or his wolf bounding out into the yard from the trees behind the house.

He’d given up trying to call Sebastian after five minutes, when he realized that he’d left his phone in his blazer where it’s tossed on the floor near the foot of Kurt’s bed. He’s peering anxiously through the curtains at the front lawn, in case Sebastian managed to stay himself long enough to drive his car back, when he hears the telltale creak of the back door, turning around just as a familiar brown and grey wolf trods into the room.

“Sebastian, I swear to god, if you—why are you limping?” he says when he realizes Sebastian is favoring his right front paw.

“No, stop it and let me see,” he says when Sebastian tries to lick his hand, nose pressing cool and wet to his fingers.

Kurt kneels down, frowning at Sebastian’s wide paw, watching as it extends and flattens, the pads lengthening into slim fingers and the soft fur receding.  He glances up at Sebastian’s face, searching his indiscernible green eyes before turning back to his hand.

“What did you do,” he sighs, brushing his fingers over the cuts covered in congealed blood, ignoring Sebastian’s hiss of pain as he pulls out the sliver of glass sticking from his palm.

Kurt purses his lips in a thin line, determinedly not meeting Sebastian’s eyes even though he feels them following him. He gets up and tosses the glass into the trash before heading for the bathroom, gesturing mutely for Sebastian to follow him.

He sits on the edge of the tub, silently cleaning and dressing Sebastian’s hand in bandages, steadfastly ignoring the fact that Sebastian is naked next to him.

“What did you do to him?” he says quietly when he’s finishing taping up Sebastian’s hand.

“Nothing,” Sebastian says. “I swear!” he insists when Kurt glares at him. “I just scared him, that’s all.”

“And this?” Kurt says, gesturing to his hand.

“I just broke the one guy’s phone,” Sebastian says dismissively. He turns his hand in Kurt’s where they’re both resting in Kurt’s lap.

“The only thing that matters is that you’re safe,” he says, expression serious as he takes both of Kurt’s hands in his own. “They won’t hurt you again.”

Kurt sighs, looking down at their tangled fingers, Sebastian’s thumbs stroking slowly over the backs of his hands.

“You’re being reckless,” he says. “They could tell anyone about you.”

“Who’s gonna believe them?” Sebastian says, lifting an eyebrow and smirking.

“You’re too cocky,” Kurt says exasperatedly.

“Some people would call it confident,” Sebastian says, full-on grinning now.

“And some people would call it stupid,” Kurt snaps, tugging his hands away and standing up. He paces a few steps in front of the tub, arms wrapping around his middle.

He takes a shaky breath, turning to face Sebastian, whose head is cocked to the side in a quizzical look that’s so _canine_ he almost laughs, though it comes out more like a choked-off, hiccuping sob.

“Kurt, what’s wrong?” Sebastian says. “I scared them off and you’re safe now, why are you so upset?”

“I’m upset because I’m worried about you,” Kurt says loudly, eyes filling with furious tears. “You’re careless and one day it’s going to come back on you and what then? You end up hunted down and stuffed into a cage or—or _killed_?”

“Kurt,” Sebastian says gently, standing and reaching out for him, taking a step forward.

“No,” Kurt says, wiping his eyes roughly and drawing away from him. “You’re not _listening_ to me, _you never listen to me_! And put some damn clothes on,” he adds, tugging his robe from the back of his door and throwing it at Sebastian.

Sebastian catches it and stops, giving him a steady, pitying sort of look.

“I’m tired of seeing you get hurt and of having to stitch you back together again,” Kurt says, not bothering to stem the flow of angry tears anymore. “Do you know how horrible it is worrying that you’re out there alone, that you could be shot or captured? I’m _terrified_ , Sebastian. And one day you’re going to show up in so many pieces I won’t be able to fix you.”

He breathes out shakily as he finishes, sniffing quietly and wiping his eyes with his sleeve. Sebastian stares at him, posture slumped and eyes full of guilt, fingers twisting his robe anxiously.

He clears his throat, shrugging on the robe and tying it loosely around his middle before taking a cautious step forward. When Kurt doesn’t pull away again Sebastian closes the distance between them, hands immediately settling on either side of Kurt’s face, thumbs wiping at the tear tracts running down his cheeks, his own eyes overbright and darting frantically over Kurt’s face.

“Kurt,” he says, voice cracking. “Don’t cry, please don’t cry, I don’t—” he swallows thickly. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I never meant to scare you, I just... I just want to make sure you’re safe... I just want to protect you.”

“I was doing okay before I met you,” Kurt mutters, though he smiles faintly as he says it, receiving a crooked, tentative smile in reply.

“I don’t need you to be my knight in shining armor, okay?” Kurt says, smoothing his hands over the collar of Sebastian’s robe. “I just need you to be... here.”

“Kurt,” Sebastian says softly. “Kurt, look at me.”

Kurt lifts his gaze from where his hands are splayed over Sebastian’s chest. Sebastian sighs, expression softening into something akin to adoration as his eyes sweep over Kurt’s face. It sends Kurt’s stomach into a flurry of butterflies, eyelids shuttering open and closed as Sebastian tilts his chin up to capture his lips in a slow, measured kiss that makes his toes curl in his socks. And though he knows he shouldn’t be giving into Sebastian this easily when he’s sure the argument isn’t _really_ over, he can’t help but fall back into the easy brush of lips and hands and unspoken words, to fall back into _Sebastian_ , recklessness and all, because he also knows he’s so dangerously gone over this boy, he would do anything for him.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is relatively short but I have a lot finished of 11 (I may end up splitting it into two chapters it's becoming so long but since the beginning and ending are already done and I just need to fill in the middle it shouldn't be too long for another update as I'm working on it right now). Thank you for your reviews etc uwu

There are days, like today, when Kurt wonders why his life took such a bizarre turn and why, somehow, he now finds it unnervingly normal to sit on a park bench wrapped in a scarf and coat while his boyfriend romps through the snow with his brother, snapping at his own tail and chasing birds for Kurt’s amusement, the tag on the sleek collar around his neck jangling loudly.

Finn plops down on the bench next to him, exhaling loudly and grinning as Sebastian rolls over in the snow with a happy growl.

“He’s a lot nicer now, huh?” Finn says, wiping away the thin sheen of sweat from his flushed face.

“He’s just been cooped up a lot,” Kurt says, smiling when Sebastian shakes the snow out of his thick fur and trots over to them, setting his chin on Kurt’s knee, tongue lolling. “You’re disgusting,” Kurt says, giving Sebastian a pointed look. Sebastian merely huffs and shuffles closer to he can press his nose to Kurt’s coat.

Kurt sighs and threads his fingers through the damp fur behind Sebastians ear, scratching absently while Sebastian releases a soft sound of contentment. He’s still uneasy about having Sebastian out in broad daylight like this, but he feels much safer being able to keep an eye on him while he hides behind the guise of loveable family dog rather than him being alone in the woods in the middle of the night where he continues to behave more and more dangerously. Despite his reassurances that he would be more cautious, Kurt is still seeing the telltale signs of fading bruises and healing cuts under his clothes.

If anything, Kurt thinks the only thing he’s being more careful about is getting hurt in places where Kurt can see. But he pays close attention to the faint, pained looks that cross Sebastian’s face when he shifts a certain way, the slight limp he has the first time Kurt sees him after the last full moon, and though he feels a little obsessive when he digs through Sebastian’s hamper one afternoon while Sebastian’s downstairs getting them drinks, he has to muffle a sob into his hand when he unearths a torn t-shirt dark with what is unmistakably dried blood.

So he’d broken down and casually suggested Sebastian come to the park with him—Finn had insisted on coming along when Kurt mentioned it. Sebastian has been behaving himself surprisingly well since they arrived an hour ago, only having complained a little about wearing a collar before shifting and allowing Kurt to fasten it around his neck.

Kurt leans back against the bench, breath coming out in soft wisps in the cool February air and fingers automatically stroking down Sebastian’s skull and neck.

“Rachel said you’re still dating that Sebastian guy.”

Finn’s voice pulls Kurt from his silent musing and he keeps his face schooled in a carefully neutral expression when he turns to face him, though Sebastian’s posture stiffens and his ears lay back on his head.

“Yes,” Kurt says tersely. “Why?”

“Nothing,” Finn says, casting Kurt a sideways glance. “Just... Regionals is coming up.”

“Oh my god,” Kurt says exasperatedly. “Has Rachel’s crazy infected you, too? I’m not—I wouldn’t—Sebastian doesn’t care about our freakin’ setlist, Finn.”

“Okay, maybe not, but Rachel said he’s, um, proboscis,” Finn says, wrinkling his nose at the last word.

“You mean _promiscuous_ ,” Kurt replies, narrowing his eyes while Sebastian growls quietly.

“Yeah,” Finn says with a grin. His expression falters and he holds his hands up in defense when he catches Kurt glaring at him. “Dude, I’m just saying what Rachel said.”

“Can’t you guys just drop it?” Kurt says wearily, laying a calming hand on Sebastian’s head when he bares his teeth at Finn. “Can’t you just... be happy for me that I found someone I really like? You don’t know what it’s like, Finn, you or Rachel, to think you’re never going to find someone like you. I never thought I was going to meet someone in Ohio but—but Sebastian... I really like him, Finn.”

Kurt jumps at the wet warmth of Sebastian’s tongue on the exposed skin of his wrist and he looks down at him with a thin smile, clearing his throat and blinking swiftly when his eyes burn.

“Dude,” Finn says, expression chastised and apologetic when Kurt turns to him again. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Kurt says brusquely. “We should head home,” he adds when Sebastian continues glowering at Finn, hackles raised silently.

They pile into the car, Kurt forcing Sebastian to lay in the back seat on a towel like he did that night at Scandals. Sebastian ends up on the floor with his head on the center console, eyes fixed on Finn in a dangerous glare.

Kurt drops a thoroughly disconcerted Finn off at home, glancing in the rearview mirror when they pull onto the road and Sebastian shifts and redresses in the cramped space behind him.

“You didn’t have to scare him like that,” Kurt scolds Sebastian as he crawls into the passenger seat, t-shirt lopsided and hair sticking up in all directions.

“It was funny,” Sebastian says, combing his fingers roughly through his hair a few times and leaving it looking artfully rumpled in a way that annoys Kurt if only for the fact that he’s never been able to get his own hair to cooperated that easily.

“Besides,” Sebastian continues with a scowl. “He basically called me a slut.”

“Well, I mean, before we were dating...” Kurt begins with a smirk that fades quickly when Sebastian casts him a disbelieving, hurt look.

“Sebastian, I didn’t mean—”

“Just... whatever,” Sebastian says, sounded defeated as he sits back heavily and turns away from Kurt to stare out the window.

Kurt opens his mouth a few times to apologize, hating the tense silence between them. When Sebastian reaches over twenty minutes into the ride and tangles his fingers with Kurt’s where this hand is resting on the console, Kurt suppresses a relieved sigh and squeezes Sebastian’s hand, lips twitching up in a small smile when Sebastian—eyes still fixed on the landscape flying by and brows creased in a frown—squeezes back.

Sebastian’s house is mercifully empty when they pull into the drive and Sebastian wordlessly invites him in with a jerk of his head and a suggestive grin. They don’t end up doing more than striping off their coats and shoes—and Sebastian’s sweater—and making out on Sebastian’s bed for a few long minutes, slowly trailing off into exchanging lazy kisses between soft smiles and Kurt’s murmured apologies for earlier.

They’re tangled up on the bed, Kurt propped against the pillows half dozing with his fingers automatically combing through Sebastian’s hair where his head is resting in his lap while Sebastian talks about the upcoming lacrosse season and how unprepared the Warblers are for Regionals because they always seem to dissolve into an argument about what songs they should sing.

“But don’t tell anyone I said that,” Sebastian says, pointing a stern finger at Kurt. “That’s top secret, I don’t need everyone else knowing we’re god awful.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Kurt says with a lazy smile, stifling a yawn and rubbing his fingers absently over Sebastian’s scalp. “Although I’m not really sure we’re prepared either. The whole Quinn, Rachel, Finn thing is out of control and now Santana’s dating Sam or something even though I’m pretty sure Santana and Brittany are hooking up, but Artie’s still dating Brittany, and I think Puck has a crush on Lauren Zizes. I’m honestly expecting a revisiting of the Valentine’s Day massacre next week.”

Sebastian gives him a befuddled look before snorting quietly.

“I’m so glad I go to an all-boys school,” he mutters, shaking his head.

“What, no gay scandals at Dalton?” Kurt teases, poking him in the arm.

“The biggest ‘scandal’ is that we’re dating and I’m pretty sure the Warblers are all too busy fighting over song selection to care,” Sebastian says. He pauses when Kurt hums and resumes the slow petting over his hair, an anxious, uncomfortable expression coming over his features.

“Listen, Kurt, about next week—”

“You don’t have to do anything,” Kurt says quickly. “Seriously, it’s not a big deal. It’s just Valentine’s Day.” He avoids Sebastian’s gaze, picking at imaginary lint on his sweater and keeping his face carefully neutral.

Sebastian sighs softly after a few seconds but doesn’t press the topic, the tense silence stretching between them for several minutes until Sebastian speaks up again.

“So... my birthday’s next month,” he says carefully.

“Are you telling me that so I have plenty of time to shop?” Kurt says with a grin. “Tell me, what does one get a young werewolf on the go?”

Sebastian smiles thinly in response.

“Um, no,” he says, clearing his throat. “It’s just... I’m going to be seventeen.”

Kurt nods, smiling though he’s beginning to feel confused with Sebastian’s demeanor.

“Dominique said that when we turn seventeen that’s usually when we start trying to find a mate,” Sebastian says, eyes flicking up from where they’re fixed on his hands to hold Kurt’s gaze steadily for a long minute before dropping back to his fingers, brows dipping in a faint frown.

“Oh,” Kurt says, a thrill of dread knotting in his stomach. “Right.” He shifts a little on the spot, feeling suddenly too hot and constricted. “B-but you said you didn’t care about that right? You said you thought it was silly.”

Sebastian sighs and pushes himself into a sitting position, absently rubbing the back of his neck before running his palms down his thighs.

“I did,” he says with a nod. “I guess I’ve just been thinking more about it lately. You have a lot of time to think when you have to spend half your nights alone in the woods.”

Kurt winces at the bitterness in his voice, swallowing anxiously and picking at his fingernails.

“What are you saying?” he says quietly. “Are... are you breaking up with me?”

Sebastian turns around, frown softening when he see’s Kurt’s wide eyes and set jaw.

“What, Kurt, no,” he says with a hard shake of his head. “It’s just... I don’t know.” He sighs in frustration and drags his hands through his hair. “I feel restless and... and sometimes, when it’s close to the moon, I feel like... like I’m missing something. I thought maybe it was just from not having any other wolves around but it was never this bad before.” His shoulders sag slightly and he sighs again, eyes unfocused and fixed on the wall.

“I don’t need anyone,” he says, more to himself than to Kurt. “But sometimes I feel like I do.”

“Sebastian.” Kurt slides to the edge of the bed, reaching out to lightly touch Sebastian’s wrist. “Just talk to me, please. Whatever you need, I-I’ll be that.”

“You don’t understand,” Sebastian says, sounding irritated again as he pulls away from Kurt and paces in front of the bed. “This... _thing_ inside me that’s telling me that I need something. That I need a _Mate_. I can’t _stop it_ , Kurt. I can’t just turn it off. I’ve been trying to do that for a long time, I just didn’t understand that’s what it meant until now. I didn’t understand my own instinct.”

“Sebastian...”

“And this—” he gestures between himself and Kurt— “it’s great, Kurt, and you’re great but I’m going to keep feeling this way until I find someone like me, someone who’s not just fun to hook-up with after school.”

“Is that what this is to you?” Kurt says, fighting to keep his voice steady. “Just ‘hooking up’?”

Sebastian stops, throat bobbing as he swallows.

“No,” he says quietly. “No, Kurt, I didn’t... I didn’t mean that.” He drags his hand down his face, swearing softly.

“I... care about you, Kurt,” he says, nodding. “I do. But you know what it’s like, thinking you’re not going to find someone else like you. I am a fucking _gay werewolf_ in the middle of Ohio. I am never going to find someone like me. And if I do, it definitely won’t be when I’m seventeen.”

“And what happens when you do?” Kurt says, standing and taking a step towards him. “You just get rid of me because I’m not enough for you anymore?”

“What, Kurt, _no_ , stop putting words in my mouth!” Sebastian exhales harshly through his teeth. “I told you I’m not breaking up with you, you asked me to talk and now I’m talking! Besides,” he adds, almost sneering. “What did you think was going to happen, that we’d stay together after high school? You’re already sick of it, Kurt. Of me. I must be _exhausting_ to put up with.”

“You are so _stupid_ ,” Kurt snarls, roughly unbuttoning his cuff and shoving his sleeve back to his elbow before baring the underside of his forearm to Sebastian, who lifts a questioning eyebrow at him.

“Bite me,” Kurt says, shaking his arm a little when Sebastian simply stares at him. “Or should it be here instead?” he continues, yanking down the collar of his shirt and twisting his head to the side to expose his neck. “Bite me, Sebastian. Make me like you and then... then you don’t have to be alone anymore.”

“Are you fucking _insane_ ,” Sebastian says, stepping forward to tug Kurt’s sleeve back down, taking hold of his wrist when he tries to pull his arm away. “I’m not _turning_ you, what the hell, Kurt?”

“Why _not_?” Kurt says desperately, covering Sebastian’s hand with his own to keep it closed around his wrist. “Why not, Sebastian? You said yourself you need someone like you and you’re never going to find them here so—so why not me?”

“Kurt,” Sebastian says, more gently this time. “I’m going to do that to you.”

“Why not?” Kurt says furiously, blinking back the burn behind his eyes.

“Well, first of all because it’s not the full moon so biting you now wouldn’t do anything,” Sebastian says calmly. “Second, this isn’t _Twilight_ , it’s not fun being what I am.”

“You don’t think I don’t know that,” Kurt mutters. “You told me. I’ve _seen_ what it’s like for you, Sebastian.”

“You have now,” Sebastian retorts. “You didn’t know me back then, when I was bitten. I was _miserable_ , Kurt. I was angry and hurting and lonely and I hated it. I would never put you through that. Especially when there’s no guarantee you’re even going to want to be with me. Mating isn’t just saying you want to be with someone. It binds you to someone. Forever. I know how big your dreams are, Kurt, and they don’t involve being tied down to someone like me. Not like that.”

“So, you’re going to just suffer through putting up with me until your Mate comes along?” Kurt says, voice wavering.

“Kurt, please don’t,” Sebastian says wearily. “I don’t know what’s going to happen, okay, I don’t know.”

“But until you find a Mate, you’re not going to feel completely whole,” Kurt presses. “No matter how happy you are with me? Is that right?”

Sebastian opens his mouth, presses his lips together again, swallows, and nods once.

“So you _are_ breaking up with me?” Kurt whispers, biting the inside of his bottom lip to keep it from trembling.

“ _No_ , Kurt, I—”

“Then I’m breaking up with you,” Kurt says more firmly. “Because you won’t make me like you and I’m not just going to... to fill the void for your pent-up sexual frustration until you find a Mate, and I’m not also going to be the one to stop you from being happy when you do find them. We’re both just being selfish staying together, Sebastian.”

“ _Kurt_ —”

“I need to go,” Kurt says, turning away from him and walking straight-backed from the room.

Sebastian calls after him again from the hall when he’s heading down the stairs, tugging on his coat and boots in the entry and heading out into the cold evening air. The fact that Sebastian doesn’t try and follow him out of the house is more telling than Kurt wants to admit to himself; and when he pulls out of the driveway he doesn’t look back, and it’s not until he’s several miles down the road that he stops attempting to swallow back tears.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to split what would have been one chapter into two shorter ones so here's the first part. I'll be leaving on vacation for a week and probably won't get any writing done but the next part is about half finished so hopefully it won't be too long.

Kurt tells himself not to mope. He puts his energies back into school and glee club, even though it’s difficult for him to focus on anything more than feeling horribly lonely watching the rest of his classmates cooing over each other and cuddling in the middle of rehearsal even more than usual with Valentine’s Day being that weekend. He has Mercedes to be bitter with about the situation, though she’s not much help when she’s doing nothing but casting him concerned looks and asking him what happened with Sebastian until he eventually tells her he doesn’t want to talk about it and puts an end to any further discussion.

Finn tries to press him for details when he finds out from Rachel about the break-up, cornering him one afternoon after school when Kurt is trying to distract himself by baking, humming and determinedly not allowing his mind to wander to Sebastian like it has been all week, to how much he misses talking to him before he goes to bed, usually waking up to texts—admittedly sexual ones most of the time—having someone who he can vent to about school and glee club; kissing him until his lips are sore and swollen and—

“What did he do to you?”

Kurt nearly drops the bowl of brownie batter he’s staring forlornly into, jumping on the spot and setting the bowl down before rounding on Finn, who’s scrutinizing him with a mix of concern and anger.

“What?” Kurt says, turning back to stirring the batter as his heartrate returns to normal.

“That Sebastian guy,” Finn says, moving to stand next to Kurt and pouting when he tries to dip his fingers in the batter only to have Kurt smack his hand away. “What did he do to you?”

“He didn’t do anything to me,” Kurt says stiffly.

“Well then why did you break up?” Finn says. “Unless he broke up with you. Do you want me to—”

“Finn,” Kurt interrupts him sternly, tipping the batter into a pan and scraping the bowl before passing off to Finn, who happily accepts it. “I broke up with him. We had an… insurmountable difference and it’s best for both of us. We’re both happier this way.”

“Doesn’t seem like it,” Finn mutters, running his fingers around the inside of the bowl to gather up the rest of the batter.

“What do you mean?“ Kurt frowns.

“I mean you don’t seem very happy with it and he doesn’t seem very happy with it,” Finn says with a shrug, licking his fingers clean before dipping them back into the bowl.

“What do you mean ‘he doesn’t seem very happy with it’?” Kurt says, frown deepening.

“I saw him yesterday,” Finn says with a shrug. He turns the bowl in his hands to try and search for more batter before giving up and licking at the spoon.

“And?” Kurt presses him expectantly.

Finn looks up, blinking in confusion until Kurt gestures wordlessly for him to continue.

“Oh, um, at that Lima Bean place,” he says, wiping the back of his hand over his mouth and tossing the bowl and spoon into the sink.

“Oh?” Kurt says nervously, rubbing his hands anxiously over his arms. “Did he look okay?”

“He just looked really sad, sitting in the corner by himself,” Finn says. “He looked kind of sick, actually.”

Kurt nods slowly, arms folded tightly across his chest. He tells himself that there are plenty of reasons why Sebastian might have looked the way he did, the biggest of them being that the full moon is the day after Valentine’s. But another part of his brain is sending a surge of guilt and longing through him and Finn is watching him closely, so he scoops up the pan and sticks it into the oven before retreating to his room after warning Finn not to touch the brownies before they’re done.

He checks his phone almost automatically, feeling a small pang of hurt like he does every time he checks it when there are no messages from Sebastian.

_Why would he want to talk to you, though_ , his mind says in a small, unhelpful voice, _you dumped him_.

“I had to,” he says quietly into the dimly lit room. “If I didn’t he would have left me eventually anyway. He’s never going to be happy with me. Not really…”

He rubs hard at his eyes when they start to sting, shoving his phone into his desk drawer before grabbing a magazine from his rack and resolutely focusing his attention on it until Finn calls up the stairs that the brownies are finished.

* * *

 

Late afternoon on Valentine’s Day, after his father and Carole have already left to go to Columbus to celebrate and Finn finishing changing upstairs to get ready for his date with Quinn, Kurt’s flicking through the channels in the living room, sighing as he settles on some romantic comedy with Meg Ryan, he’s too distracted to care much which one. He hears Finn’s heavy footsteps on the stairs but doesn’t look up from his spot on the couch until he hears Finn pause in the act of putting on his coat in the entry and calls his name.

“Kurt?”

“Hmm?” Kurt replies, glancing over his shoulder at where Finn is now peeking through the curtains.

“That Sebastian guy is outside,” Finn calls back.

“Wh-what?” Kurt pushes himself to his feet and moves into the entry, frowning as he peers through window into the yard where he can see Sebastian’s car parked at the end of the drive, Sebastian standing at the bottom of the steps looking up at the house and wearing an uncertain expression.

He looks even worse than “kind of sick” as Finn had described him; he looks disconsolate, face drawn and eyes dull and circled with dark bags, even worse than when Sebastian wasn’t speaking to him over Christmas break. Kurt can see half-healed cuts along the side of his neck poking from under his scarf, and he’s afraid what the rest of Sebastian’s clothes might be hiding. His stomach churns at the thought.

“You want me to tell him to leave?” Finn mutters.

“No,” Kurt says with a small shake of his head. “No, it’s okay. Go on your date. I’ll talk to him.”

“If you’re sure,” Finn says, sounding reluctant as he straightens and finishes zipping up his coat and tugging on his beanie.

“I’ll be fine, Finn,” Kurt insists, pulling open the door and ushering him out with a thin smile. He slips on his shoes before following him out, wrapping his arms around himself in the chill.

He waits rigidly on the doorstep as Finn walks down the stairs past Sebastian, giving him a warning look as he does, and to his car. Sebastian looks up at him with a mix of determination and longing so strong that Kurt clears his throat and fixes his own gaze on his feet until he hears Finn’s car crunching out of the driveway.

Sebastian exhales loudly and Kurt hears his shoes shuffle against the sidewalk as he shifts on the spot.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” Sebastian says quietly.

Kurt closes his eyes, heart dropping painfully in his chest.

“What are you doing here, Sebastian?” he mumbles, rubbing his hands over his arms and shivering. He sees Sebastian make to pull off his coat and gives him a hard look, shaking his head slightly.

Sebastian sighs, shoulders slumping, and shoves his hands in his pockets.

“Can we talk?” he says, a note of pleading in his tone.

“What do you want to talk about?” Kurt says coolly.

“What do you think?” Sebastian bites back.

He makes a frustrated sound when Kurt glares resolutely at a smudge of paint on the porch, muttering something Kurt can’t make out, though he does catch the phrase, ‘stubborn as a fucking mule’ and flashes a scowl at Sebastian.

“Fine,” Sebastian says, taking a step up the stairs towards Kurt. “Will you just listen to me then?”

Kurt considers the request for a long moment before shrugging and nodding silently.

“Okay,” Sebastian says, nodding a little to himself. He wets his lips and Kurt swallows as his eyes drop down to Sebastian's mouth before darting back up again.

“I’m just going to come out and say it,” Sebastian says earnestly. “I hate this, Kurt. I don’t want us to be broken up anymore.”

“You didn’t seem that upset about it before,” Kurt mumbles.

“What are you _talking_ about?” Sebastian says, frowning.

“You didn’t try to call me or text me or—or anything,” Kurt says.

“Because _you—broke—up—with—me_ ,” Sebastian says, putting emphasis on each word, voice rising in aggravation. He lets out a humorless laugh, breath rising in a cloud from his lips as he looks skyward like he’s searching for patience. Kurt feels shame rising hot to his face and he squirms uncomfortably on the spot.

“I didn’t want to push you,” Sebastian continues. “I wanted to give you space. Plus… you were kind of right. That part of me isn’t going to feel… whole without a Mate.”

“Then why are you here?” Kurt says softly.

“Because,” Sebastian says, moving the rest of the way up the stairs onto the porch, though he stops a few feet from Kurt, hands curled loosely at his sides. “Because I don’t care, Kurt. I don’t care if I have a Mate, I don’t care if I have to deal with never seeing another wolf again. It _sucks_ not having a Mate, it really does, and I know it probably won’t get any easier. But it’s so much worse not having you.”

He blinks up at Kurt, eyes too-bright and open and Kurt swallows hard at the lump growing in his throat, arms loosening where they’re wrapped tight around his middle.

“I don’t want you to feel like you’re not enough for me, Kurt,” Sebastian says, voice quieter now. “This week has been—I feel like falling apart at the seams without you.”

“Sebastian—”

“If you want me to go, I will,” Sebastian cuts over him, posture defeated and eyes downcast. “I just wanted you to know that you don’t need to change anything to be everything I need.” He licks his lips and swallows anxiously, exhaling shakily before lifting his eyes to Kurt again. “I… I, um, I love you.”

Kurt sucks in a shuddering breath and presses his lips together in a tight line, hot tears spilling down his cheeks as he watches Sebastian curse quietly and scrub his the heels of his hands hard into his own eyes.

“And I fucking miss you,” Sebastian says, voice steadied and louder than before. “I miss my boyfriend and I miss my best friend and it’s fucking Valentine’s Day and I’m going to look really pathetic if I just said all that and you turn me down.”

Kurt lets out a watery laugh, sniffing and wiping away the drying tear tracts on his cheeks.

“You’re infuriating, you know that?” Sebastian says, smiling fondly and clearing the last few feet between them. He brushes his gloved hand gently over Kurt’s jaw and Kurt can’t help but feel a rushing sense of relief as he tilts his head into the touch.

“I don’t need you to be like me, Kurt,” Sebastian says. “I can live without that if I have you.”

“I don’t want you to have to though,” Kurt says, fingers covering the back of Sebastian’s hand where it’s cradling his jaw. “I want you to turn me, Sebastian.”

“Kurt, we talked about this, I won’t—”

“ _You_ talked about it,” Kurt says. “I’ve thought about it plenty, Sebastian. I want you to bite me and I want to be your Mate.”

“I won’t do that to you—”

“And I won’t be alone,” Kurt continues. “I’ll have you to help me and teach me everything and then… then you won’t be alone, either.”

Sebastian sighs, though Kurt can see the consideration in his eyes.

“Kurt,” he begins slowly. “You know I can’t take it back. If I bite you… that’s it. And if we choose each other as Mates that’s forever, too.”

“I know,” Kurt says, nodding. “I _know_ , Sebastian. If I was already like you, would you want me to be your Mate?”

“I—yeah, of course.”

“So why is it okay for you to be willing to want something that permanent but not me?” Kurt shuffles closer to Sebastian, leaning into his warmth and sliding one arm into his open coat and around his waist. “Well?”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Sebastian mutters.

“I’ve been watching you hurt yourself for months,” Kurt says, voice hardening. He runs his hand up and down Sebastian’s back under his coat and watches him wince when he touches a certain spot where he’s sure there’s a dark bruise. “I want to be there to stop you from feeling like you need to do it. It’s my turn to be reckless, Sebastian. You owe me that.”

Sebastian’s eyes sweep over his face, like he’s looking for any flicker of uncertainty, which Kurt refuses to show. Eventually he sighs resignedly and nods.

“Okay,” he says. “Okay. I’ll do it.”

Kurt smiles and tilts his head up to slot their lips together, the kiss quickly turning heated as they both have a week of pent up energy and longing to expend. Kurt pulls away first to breathe, staying close and pressing himself against Sebastian’s chest.

“I missed you too,” he murmurs, pressing another, gentler kiss to Sebastian’s lips. “And I love you. So much.”

Sebastian grins, wide and pleased, and Kurt can’t help but match it with his own smile, a small bubble of laughter escaping his throat.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” Sebastian says. He scoffs quietly. “Never thought I’d be celebrating it.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” Kurt mutters, kissing lightly over Sebastian’s jaw before resting his head against his shoulder and sliding his other arm around his middle under his coat, smiling contentedly as Sebastian wraps his arms around him as well and buries his face in his hair. “Me neither.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's been so long, this chapter has been in the works for awhile and it's longer than any of the others so I hope it holds up :) Next chapter is already 1500 words in so hopefully (hopefully) it won't take to long. Warnings for knotting and very, very brief bloodplay.

With the full moon the following night and Sebastian’s parents gone until Monday for the holiday, Kurt insists—despite Sebastian’s protests that they have plenty of time and that his birthday isn’t for another few weeks—that they get it over with as soon as possible.

“I want you to understand exactly what you’re agreeing to before we do this then,” Sebastian says, seated on Kurt’s bed with his legs crossed to mirror Kurt’s position, their knees brushing and their fingers loosely tangled together between them.

“I know it’s going to hurt,” Kurt says, nodding and taking a steadying breath as his eyes flick down to Sebastian’s mouth, anxiety rushing through him at the thought of the other boy’s teeth lengthening past his lips and piercing his skin.

“It’s not just that,” Sebastian says with a hard shake of his head. “No just… turning. I mean the, um, mating part.”

“Oh,” Kurt says, feeling an unbidden rush of heat coloring his face. He and Sebastian have done plenty together, but sex, sex like he knows will surely be involved in whatever ritual he’s subjecting himself to, is something he’s never thought extensively about. “O-okay, what about it?”

Sebastian clears his throat, looking more uncomfortable than Kurt’s ever seen him around the topic of sex—which is somehow both worrying and reassuring at the same time, knowing Sebastian is just as nervous about it as he is.

“Okay,” he says, inhaling and puffing out a sharp burst of air through his lips. “So, if we’re doing this all at once I think we should do the… the mating part first.”

“I thought I couldn’t be your Mate unless I was like you?” Kurt says, arching an eyebrow in question.

“I mean—okay, _technically_ you can,” Sebastian says slowly, face scrunching in thought. “I’m still kind of fuzzy on the details, I tried to do research but do you know how many fucking pages there are on werewolves online? And who knows how many of _those_ are made up by people who don’t even think we’re actually real. I’m going off what Dominique told me.”

Kurt nods mutely for him to continue.

“She said that when a werewolf chooses a human Mate, it’s more symbolic than anything,” Sebastian says. “I can say you’re my Mate all I want and we can, um, mate as many times as we want but it’s like… it’s like soy milk.”

“Soy milk,” Kurt echos dully.

“Yeah,” Sebastian says insistently. “I can tell you it’s regular milk and it tastes good but it’s not _really_ the same thing and it doesn’t have all the… stuff, regular milk has,” he finishes lamely.

“Stuff?” Kurt repeats, amused. “You know soy milk is actually better for you than—”

“You’re missing the point!” Sebastian says, sounding frustrated. Kurt presses his lips together tightly, trying not to smile.

Sebastian sighs and rubs his palms over his thighs distractedly.

“I just mean it’s not the same,” he says quietly. “It’s not the same for my wolf and it will still feel like it’s missing something because as much as I might wish you could be a real Mate like this, it won’t be the same.” He swallows thickly and Kurt’s expression sobers at the worry in Sebastian’s eyes.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Sebastian says seriously, hands taking hold of Kurt’s fingers and gripping them tightly.

“Yes,” Kurt says adamantly.

“Promise me that if you doubt it for even a second you’ll tell me,” Sebastian says. “Promise me. Please.”

Kurt licks his lips nervously and nods.

“Say it.”

“I promise,” Kurt says firmly, smiling when Sebastian’s rigid posture relaxes slightly.

“Alright,” he says, nodding and pulling one hand away to rub absently at the back of his own neck. “What was I talking about?”

“The mating part,” Kurt answers, nodding encouragingly when he grimaces.

“Right,” Sebastian mutters. “Mating isn’t just about sex. It’s about intimacy and… and vulnerability. Sex is… sex. But when you mate you share something that you don’t share with anyone else, and you’re trusting them to do the same for you. You’re letting yourself be completely exposed in a way no human ever could. Physically and… emotionally.”

He looks anxious again, and Kurt can see the distress and trepidation in the way his eyes flitting between their hands and Kurt’s face, the way his features are drawn and his lips are pursed together, though he tries to hide it behind the set line of his jaw and lift of his chin. It reminds Kurt again that Sebastian may be much more experienced at sex than he is but, when it comes to things beyond superficial attraction, he’s just as new to it as Kurt. And Kurt can see just how much it _terrifies_ him.

It hits him then that it’s not just the idea of Kurt later regretting his decision that’s making him so hesitant, it’s the fact that if Kurt was to change his mind later, that Sebastian would be facing the rejection of the first person he ever trusted with so much of himself. Kurt suddenly feels selfish about the fact that they’ve both been focusing so much on making sure this is what Kurt wants that he’s barely considered just how huge it is for Sebastian to want it. Kurt’s always wanted romance and love since he knew he was gay, but Sebastian hadn’t even considered having a boyfriend much less a Mate before Kurt. The thought makes something warm bloom in his chest even as the weight of it all settles heavily over him.

“Sebastian.” He leans forward to capture Sebastian’s lips in a firm but gentle kiss, letting their noses brush together as he pulls away just enough to meet Sebastian’s eyes.

“I love you,” he says. “And nothing you say is going to change my mind. And I’m not going to regret this. And I won’t hurt you.”

Sebastian’s eyes flick between each of Kurt’s, his hands coming up to frame Kurt’s face as he kisses him again, harder this time, like he’s seeking reassurance, which Kurt readily gives, kissing him back and covering Sebastian’s hands with his own.

They’re both breathing a little heavily by the time they break apart again, and Kurt can see the faint color on Sebastian’s cheeks that he’s sure is even darker on his own.

“I have to not,” Sebastian says quickly, like he has to force the words out of his lips before he stops himself from saying them.

“Not what?” Kurt says, frowning.

“Not ‘not’,” Sebastian says, shaking his head. “K-n-o-t. Knot. I have to knot when we—it’s what male wolves do when they claim a Mate. If you were already like me you’d do it too but…”

“What do you mean ‘knot’?” Kurt says cautiously.

Sebastian laughs awkwardly, rubbing at the back of his neck again and pulling a face.

“Um, it’s like… a dog thing, I guess?” he says, wincing. “Where, um—” he releases a stream of air through his lips, opening and closing his mouth silently a few times and gesturing lamely with his hands as if he’s searching for exactly what to say.

“My dick is going to grow a knot,” he finally blurts out, clearing his throat and avoiding Kurt’s gaze as soon as he says it.

“Wh-what?” Kurt says, chuckling a little.

“When we have sex the base of my dick is going to swell up so I stay inside of you until I’m done,” Sebastian says very quickly, fingers curled tightly around his own knees. He sighs, wetting his lips. “It’s something wolves only do with their Mate.”

Kurt gapes at him silently for a few seconds, feeling suddenly very hot around the collar of his shirt.

“O-oh,” he breathes. “O-okay.”

“Does that freak you out?” Sebastian says, narrowing his eyes and frowning questioningly.

“A little bit,” Kurt confesses. “B-but it’s okay,” he adds quickly. “It could be worse, right?”

Sebastian grins crookedly in relief, some of that familiar cockiness returning to his features.

“Just be glad neither of us is a chick,” he says, smirking wider when Kurt gives him a curious look. “Female wolves lactate when they mate. And the Mate is supposed to drink it.”

He laughs loudly when Kurt wrinkles up his face in distaste and horror, shoving lightly at Sebastian’s shoulder when he practically pounces, tackling him back onto the bed and staring down at him with an almost predatory smirk, though Kurt can see the affection edging his expression and he smiles back, wide and bright, before hooking an arm around Sebastian’s neck so he can tug him down into a kiss.

* * *

 

With some groveling and the promise to have a “no boyfriends” sleepover the following weekend, Kurt manages to convince Mercedes to cover for him again so he can go to Sebastian’s the following evening, giving Finn a pointed, warning look when he doesn’t seem completely convinced when Kurt tells his father where he’s going.

He stands on Sebastian’s doorstep for a full two minutes when he arrives, letting his hand drop back to his side when the door swings inward before he can work up the courage to knock. Sebastian eyes him appreciatively, gaze hot and hungry—but with an underlying affection that helps calm Kurt’s nerves very slightly—and nostrils flaring in a way that Kurt knows he’s inhaling his scent.

“Hey,” Sebastian says, voice already sounding slightly rough. The bags under his eyes from the day before are gone but Kurt can still see the healing cuts on his neck and arms.

Sebastian clears his throat and gives Kurt an awkward smile as he stands back to let him in. There are a few uneven, mismatched and half-used candles sitting on table in the entry in little glass jars, their tiny, flickering flames casting warm light and shimmering shadows over the wall.

“I, um—you’re supposed to light candles right?” Sebastian says, rubbing at the back of his neck and looking so out of his element Kurt has to bite down on the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.

“It’s all I could find,” Sebastian continues lamely.

“It’s fine,” Kurt says, letting his bag slide off his shoulder onto the floor so he can lay his hands on Sebastian’s waist and kiss him softly. Sebastian relaxes against him, and when Kurt breaks away, the familiar, confident smirk is back.

“So,” Sebastian says, fingers trailing lightly down Kurt’s arm. “Should we take this upstairs?”

“Straight to the point, huh?” Kurt says with a roll of his eyes, though he toes off his shoes and allows Sebastian to tangle their fingers together and lead him upstairs.

Sebastian throws him a leer over his shoulder, the look softening into something fond by the time they reach the top of the stairs.

“What, no more candles?” Kurt says when they step inside Sebastian’s bedroom lit only by the moonlight shining through the curtains.

“Well, no,” Sebastian replies, grinning as he steps into Kurt’s space and walks him backwards towards the bed with that same near predatory look he’d given Kurt the day before. “See, I knew you’d be so thoroughly seduced by my moves downstairs I wouldn’t need to convince you anymore.”

Kurt hums and nods shrewdly.

“Hmm, I don’t know,” he says as Sebastian thumbs open the buttons on his vest and ducks his head to ghost his lips over his throat. “I may need some more convincingly. You’re seduction techniques are, well… not so much lacking as they are nonexistent.”

“But you’re here,” Sebastian mumbles, nosing at Kurt’s jaw. “And you’re letting me undress you—” he pushes Kurt’s vest smoothly off his shoulders. “I’d say that’s pretty successful.” He pulls back to give Kurt a suspicious look. “Or maybe you’re just really easy. Or you have a thing for mythical creatures. Are you seeing a vampire on the side?”

“I didn’t want you to find out like this,” Kurt says seriously, laughing when Sebastian actually looks concerned for a half-second.

“Very funny,” Sebastian mutters, frowning as he sets to work on the buttons on Kurt’s shirt, which he slides off his arms to join his vest on the floor before gripping Kurt firmly by the hips.

“I guess I’ll just have to convince you that I can handle you on my own,” he says, eyes shining and voice dripping with a dark desire that makes Kurt’s knees shake under him.

“Yeah,” Kurt breathes, nodding. “You should do that.”

Sebastian lets out a low, possessive growl and kisses him hard, hooking his hands behind Kurt’s thighs so he can lift him and all but throw him onto the bed. He yanks his shirt over his head and tugs his jeans down so he can step out of them, barely giving Kurt a chance to drink in the sight of his bare, tanned skin smattered with fading bruises and long limbs before he’s climbing onto the bed with him and shoving Kurt’s undershirt up his chest so he can suck wet kisses over his stomach.

Kurt releases an unsteady breath, hands finding Sebastian’s shoulders and spine arching upward into Sebastian’s touch. Sebastian laps and bites at his hip, fingers nimbly undoing Kurt’s jeans enough to tug them down his thighs while Kurt sheds his undershirt. Sebastian presses his face into the seam of Kurt’s thigh and whines needily. Kurt shushes him soothingly, fingers petting over his shoulder.

Sebastian lifts his head from Kurt’s crotch, eyes gleaming and pupils blown wide and black. He wets his lips.

“I’m gonna fuck you,” he announces, crawling up the mattress until he’s hovering on all fours over Kurt, who suddenly feels like he’s cornered prey pinned under Sebastian the way he is. “You’re going to be my Mate. Let me make you my Mate.”

“Please,” Kurt groans, not even caring how desperate he sounds at this point. “Sebastian, _please_.”

Sebastian leans down to kiss him briefly before pulling back so he can root around in his bedside table. Kurt’s stomach swoops when Sebastian’s hand emerges wrapped around a half-empty bottle of lube. Kurt lifts his hips to allow Sebastian to tug his jeans and briefs down his legs the rest of the way before settling back between Kurt’s legs.

“Here, babe,” he says, gently maneuvering Kurt’s legs so they’re bent and spread wider on the bed. He pops open the cap on the lube and dribbles some of it onto his fingers. “Tell me if it hurts, okay?”

Kurt nods silently, closing his eyes and trying to relax even as he feels every muscle in his body bunching with anticipation.

“It’s okay,” Sebastian says softly when Kurt gasps as Sebastian’s cool, slick finger rubs at his entrance. “I promise it’s going to feel so good, babe.”

Kurt exhales slowly, whimpering quietly as Sebastian’s finger pushes into him gradually. He tries not to squirm as his body adjusts to the intrusion, the deep burn and sting of the stretch.

“You look so hot like this,” Sebastian mutters, eyes fixed on where his finger is now slowly thrusting and curling into Kurt. “Fuck, Kurt.”

“You can keep going,” Kurt chokes out, surprised at how wrecked his own voice sounds. “Keep going, Sebastian.”

Another of Sebastian’s long fingers—and, fuck, Kurt has never realized how thick his fingers are before—presses in alongside the first one and Kurt has to bite down on his knuckles to keep from crying out at the dull ache of the stretch.

“Fuck, look at you just taking it,” Sebastian groans, brow furrowed in concentration, eyes flashing brightly when he curls his fingers inside Kurt, eliciting a loud whine from Kurt when pleasure shoots up his nerves.

Kurt’s legs are shaking with the effort of keeping still, fingers fisted white in the sheets and breathing ragged. By the time Sebastian is twisting a third finger inside him, Kurt’s close to sobbing, drifting somewhere between pleasure and pain and rocking his hips down onto Sebastian’s fingers.

“Sebastian, please, I’m ready, just— _fuck_.” Kurt’s head twists back in the pillows. He moans roughly, eyes rolling back and body curving upward.

“I don’t want to rush it,” Sebastian says calmly, though Kurt can hear his voice waver unsteadily. “When I knot it’s… I just don’t want it to hurt you.”

Kurt whines brokenly and fucks himself back on Sebastian’s fingers again. He’s hard, almost painfully so, dick resting on his hip curving upward towards his stomach and beading precome at the tip. Sebastian is just as hard, Kurt can see the dark spot on his briefs where they’re tented sharply at the front, and he’d admire Sebastian’s restraint if he wasn’t busy begging him to hurry up, eyes skating over Kurt’s skin and chest heaving shallowly like it’s taking every ounce of self-control not to give into Kurt’s breathy pleas.

He has four fingers twisting slickly inside of Kurt when he pulls them free suddenly and shucks his briefs, Kurt groaning at the now odd emptiness and clenching around nothing. Sebastian smears more lube over his dick, swearing and closing his eyes as he strokes his fist over it a few times before moving between Kurt’s legs again.

“W-wait,” Kurt says, laying a hand on Sebastian’s arm. “Do you have—um…”

He flushes darker, stomach swooping with guilt when Sebastian’s face crumples slightly.

“Oh,” he says, sounding hurt. “Uh, yeah, hold on.”

“Sebastian—”

“I’ve always used them before,” Sebastian says, tone somewhere between pleading and irritated. He sighs and his expression shifts from petulant to chastised, and he shakes his head a little.

“It’s fine,” he says earnestly. “I’ll do whatever makes you comfortable. I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” Kurt says, taking Sebastian’s wrist to stop him where he’s reaching for his drawer again. “It… it’s okay. I trust you.”

And he does. More than he thinks, or maybe knows, is wise for someone he’s only known for as long as he’s known Sebastian. But he also knows he’s tired of overthinking and that he feels safer with Sebastian than anyone else.

Sebastian wets his lips and gives him a dubious look.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Kurt says sincerely, nodding and tugging at Sebastian’s wrist until he gives in and moves so he’s hovering low over Kurt so Kurt can lift his head from the pillow and catch his lips on Sebastian’s ear.

“Now… claim me.”

It sounds cheesy to his own ears but Sebastian’s fingers curl and dig into the mattress and he releases a low, snarling groan that’s nothing short of primal. His teeth drag sharply down the curve of Kurt’s throat, one hand gripping the back of Kurt’s thigh while he uses the other to line himself up, forehead resting on Kurt’s shoulder and body shaking with the effort of holding himself up on his knees.

The head of his dick catches on Kurt’s hole and Kurt has to force himself to relax again, lips quivering and breath hitching in a soft whine as Sebastian eases into him. He goes painstakingly slow, breath coming out in harsh, labored pants against Kurt’s skin, and Kurt drags his fingers shakily through Sebastian’s hair, doing his best to articulate how good Sebastian feels—though it comes out mostly as disjointed moans and babbling—knowing he’s going as slow as he is for Kurt’s benefit and that the restraint is against everything his instinct is telling him.

Sebastian is practically wheezing by the time his hips are flush with Kurt’s ass, letting out quiet growls and whimpers and huffs of air and trembling all over. Kurt feels stretched wide and full, nerves jumping with each tiny movement he makes, every twitch of Sebastian’s hips. He focuses on the steady, constant and slow burning build of pleasure, trying not to think about the fact that Sebastian is still going to knot inside him.

“You’re so tight, _fuck_ ,” Sebastian grunts, making a choked sound and nearly collapsing fully on Kurt when Kurt rocks his hips down onto his cock.

“How does it feel?” Sebastian says and pulls back to look at him, voice laced with unease and yet still managing the underlying smugness Kurt’s grown so oddly fond of.

“Mm, good,” Kurt sighs, nodding. “...Full.”

“Sebastian smirks proudly, eyes softening affectionately as he brushes his fingers through Kurt’s hair.

“You’ll tell me if it’s too much, yeah?” he says seriously.

“Yeah,” Kurt says. He hooks one leg around Sebastian’s hip, digging his foot encouragingly into his spine and groaning when it forces Sebastian deeper.

Sebastian grunts and drops his head to Kurt’s shoulder again, hands planted on the bed and elbows buckling. Kurt grips the smooth, warm skin of Sebastian’s biceps, feeling the muscle move under his fingers as Sebastian shifts his weight to roll his hips smoothly.

A warm knot of pleasure pulls taut low in Kurt’s belly with each stroke of Sebastian’s cock as he goes from careful, shallow thrusts to steady, determined snaps of his hips, huffing hot breaths against Kurt’s shoulder, the bed creaking rhythmically beneath them..

After a few minutes Kurt can feel something swelling at the base of Sebastian's cock with each thrust, nudging at his already stretched hole.

"Is that...?"

"Yeah," Sebastian grunts, breath hot and ragged on the side of Kurt's neck. "Fuck, babe."

Kurt groans, hands clawing down Sebastian's back to grip his ass and try to force him closer when he feels his knot push and slip against his hole only for Sebastian to pull back again.

"Sebastian, come on," Kurt whines, heels digging into the backs of Sebastian's thighs.

"I don't want to hurt you," Sebastian grits out with a soft growl, burying his nose in Kurt's neck in a way that tells Kurt it's taking all of his self control not to simply trust forward like instinct is telling him to.

"You won't," Kurt insists, tangling one hand in Sebastian's hair and twisting his head back so he's forced to look at him. "I want this. You know that, Sebastian."

Sebastian's eyes flit over Kurt's face like he's searching for any sign of doubt or hesitance, hips stilling so the only sound in the room is their own heavy breathing. Sebastian shifts his weight to one arm, using his other hand to push back the hair that's flopped down over Kurt's forehead off his sweaty temple. He drops a kiss to Kurt's cheek just under his eye and Kurt turns his head to bump their noses together in a wolf-like gesture that has Sebastian smiling crookedly down at him before catching Kurt's lips in a deep, hungry kiss.

Kurt kisses back easily, gasping into Sebastian's mouth when he feels his knot pressing against his hole again. Sebastian pauses and Kurt tightens the hand still on Sebastian ass, fingers gripping hard at the firm flesh, and Sebastian continues, rocking his hips forward in short thrusts that force his cock in further.

It does hurt. Sebastian's knot is huge compared to his cock, and even with all the time they'd spent prepping, Kurt still feels like he's being split in two. He's not kissing Sebastian back anymore, simply panting and whimpering quietly while Sebastian leaves kisses across his cheeks and jaw, murmuring encouragement into his skin.

Kurt squeezes his eyes shut, biting his lip hard when he feels a hot tear roll down the side of his face. Sebastian kisses the damp trail, his eyelid, the tip of his nose, his lip where it's tucked between his teeth, and Kurt can taste the faint hint of salty sweat and tears.

"You're so gorgeous, Kurt," Sebastian mutters between kisses. "You're doing so good, baby, so good, okay? _Fuck_ , Kurt, you're so fucking tight."

He leaves wet, sloppy kisses across Kurt's collarbone and up his throat, biting his chin before kissing him deep and dirty, tongue thrusting into Kurt's mouth and teeth tugging gently on Kurt's lower lip. His hips still, cock buried inside Kurt fully and skin flush against Kurt's ass.

"Are you okay?" he murmurs, carding his fingers through Kurt's now limp hair. "Does it hurt?"

"A little," Kurt says, wincing at the slightest movement and how it shifts Sebastian's knot inside him, sparking his frayed nerve endings to life. There's a heavy, constant pressure on his prostrate, pulsing waves of pleasure rocking through him.

“Feels good, though,” he adds, mouth falling open and eyes rolling back when Sebastian rocks his hips gently.

Sebastian nips lightly at his collarbone, lips brushing over his neck before he rests his forehead against Kurt’s, eyes heavy-lidded and vibrant green, face gleaming and hair damp with sweat. He moves his hips in short, sharp thrusts to keep from pulling his knot free, breath hot against Kurt’s lips with each exhale. He kisses Kurt hard every now and then, whining softly and nosing at Kurt’s jaw before reaching between their bodies to curl his fingers around Kurt’s cock.

“God, I— _Sebastian_ —fuck me, _ah_ , you feel so good.” He claws at Sebastian’s lower back, hands slipping on his sweat-slick skin and fingers gripping his ass.

Sebastian shifts his hips to thrust deeper into him, lips latching onto the side of Kurt’s neck as he does, and Kurt curves his spine off the mattress, moaning breathlessly and trembling as he comes across Sebastian’s fist and his own stomach.

“ _Oh my god_ , Kurt, the way you smell,” Sebastian growls, hips snapping forward roughly, his pace suddenly quickening. He takes hold of one of Kurt’s thighs to hoist it up higher, making low, desperate sounds into Kurt’s neck with each frantic thrust.

He bites down hard on Kurt's collarbone, grunting softly, and Kurt can feel him coming inside him, feel his cock twitch and hot, slick come filling him up as Sebastian's knot empties. He rubs his hands absently up an down Sebastian's back, still lightheaded from his own orgasm, Sebastian's fingers gripping his hips hard, his body draped hot and heavy over his own and he's _still coming_ , making small, whimpering sounds and shifting his hips forward with each pulse of his cock in Kurt's ass and Kurt can't do anything more than pet over the quivering muscles in his back and press soothing kisses to his sweat-damp temple.

"Fuck," Sebastian groans shakily, shuddering through the aftershock of his orgasm, panting hot against the side of Kurt's neck. "Holy shit, Kurt, that...fuck."

Kurt hums contentedly in agreement, closing his eyes and nuzzling Sebastian's cheek when Sebastian noses at his throat and inhales slowly. Sebastian lifts himself onto his elbows and Kurt smiles drowsily up at him, pushing the damp hair back off his forehead tenderly.

Sebastian shifts his hips back, peppering wet kisses across Kurt's face when he winces and whines quietly as Sebastian's softening cock slips out. He can feel Sebastian's come leaking out of him, hole sore and stretched and clenching automatically around nothing, and he feels more shameless than he ever has in his life.

"Are you okay?" Sebastian murmurs, eyes searching Kurt's face carefully.

Kurt nods, eyelids drooping, and he blinks hard to keep himself from drifting off.

"Don't fall asleep on me, now," Sebastian says with a fond, lopsided smile. "I'm not finished with you yet."

Kurt shivers, nodding mutely and taking a deep breath to try and calm himself when his stomach swoops and his heart flutters at the thought of what they’re about to do. Sebastian brushes his fingers over Kurt’s temple, dropping a soft kiss to his temple and cupping Kurt’s face in his hand.

“Love you,” he murmurs, bumping his nose against Kurt’s and going a little cross-eyed at the proximity, scrunching his nose when Kurt laughs. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Sebastian says, smile fading into something serious.

“Yeah,” Kurt says, nodding and carding his fingers through Sebastian’s tousled hair. “I’m sure. I want this, Sebastian. So much.”

Sebastian catches his lips in a final slow, deep kiss, tongue stroking inside Kurt’s mouth. He groans, rocking his hips against Kurt’s thigh, and Kurt breaks away with a quiet hum when he feels Sebastian’s cock hardening again.

“Mmm, we have to stop before we get started again,” he mumbles, smiling when Sebastian pouts.

Sebastian sighs but doesn’t argue, sitting back on his knees and stretching his arms over his head. He pauses, eyes dropping down to Kurt’s red, swollen hole, where Kurt can still feel his come dribbling down his skin. Sebastian reaches out to slide his fingers through the slick mess with a considering look, Kurt whimpering when his fingertips catch on his hole.

“ _Bastian_ ,” he whines.

Sebastian blinks, pulling his hand away and wiping it silently on the sheet. He slips off the bed, padding to the bathroom and returning dressed in boxers and a t-shirt and holding a damp towel, which he uses to gently clean the drying come off Kurt’s stomach and thighs.

“C’mere,” he murmurs, tossing the towel aside and holding his hand out to help pull Kurt to his feet.

He tugs Kurt into the white-blue moonlight beaming over the carpet, wrapping his arms around his middle and dropping a line of tender kisses over his shoulder and collarbone. His lips slide over Kurt’s skin and Kurt shudders when he feels the sharp tips of Sebastian’s canines catch the side of his throat.

“Do it,” Kurt breathes, clutching at Sebastian’s shoulders, eyes fluttering shut and head tilting to the side to allow Sebastian better access. “Do it, Sebastian. _Please_.”

Sebastian growls into his neck and tightens his grip around his waist. He bares his teeth and bites down hard, sharp fangs piercing Kurt’s skin and sinking into the flesh of his shoulder. Kurt gasps at the sting of pain, nails digging hard into Sebastian’s back as he feels warm blood trickle down his collarbone. Sebastian’s teeth retract after a few seconds, his tongue licking soothingly over the puncture wounds, fingers trailing up and down Kurt’s spine.

At first, Kurt doesn’t feel anything, just the steady thud of Sebastian’s heart against his own chest and the soft graze of his fingertips down his back. It hits him suddenly, like a punch to the gut, and his legs nearly give out from under him. Sebastian catches him, holding him up when he almost doubles over, gasping and choking on the air that suddenly feels suffocating.

His skin feels stretched tight over his flesh like it’s about to rip apart and his stomach is on fire, like someone’s boiling acid in his gut. There’s a hot, aching twist in his bones and he’s clawing at Sebastian’s shoulders and chest and sliding to the floor, knees like liquid and refusing to support his weight. Sebastian helps lower him down, making small, comforting sounds into his hair.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he murmurs, cradling Kurt to his chest and pressing his lips against his sweaty temple. “I’m right here, babe, I’ve got you.”

Kurt curls in on himself, clutching his stomach and biting his lip hard to stop from crying out, tears sliding down his cheeks onto the carpet. His skin prickles like someone’s shoving a million tiny needles into his pores, his bones popping loudly. He can feel his body shifting, his skull reshaping and his spine lengthening and curling out into a long tail, his fingers retracting into flat pads and nails curving into heavy, blunt claws; thick fur sprouting from his skin. He nearly blacks out from the pain, limbs thrashing and body twisting on the carpet so violently that Sebastian is forced to back away from him, watching with a mix of concern and fear.

It stops suddenly, with a final snap of his vertebrae and a hard whoosh of air from his lungs.

Every inch of Kurt's body aches, bone-deep and relentless, and it takes him a full ten seconds to realize the small, pathetic whimpers he's hearing are coming from his own mouth. He falls silent again, mouth open and tongue lolling, and chest rising and falling rapidly with each shallow, panting breath.

He can sense the strength in his body even without moving, feel the compact muscle twitch beneath his skin and hear the rush of blood in his own ears, the steady, rapid thump of his heart. Everything feels strangely amplified and muffled at the same time, the world muted and oddly drained of color as his eyes roll around to take it in, while his twitching ears pick up everything from the rustling of the trees on the other side of the yard to Sebastian's quiet breathing. Even his mind feels strangely sluggish, as if he’s just woken up and can’t quite focus on his own thoughts as his brain sifts through the jumbled mess of emotion and sensation.

His eyes seek out Sebastian,  who's staring at him with nothing short of awe, eyes wide and roving over Kurt's body like he's trying to memorize it.

He licks his lips and swallows.

"Oh my god, Kurt," he breathes. "You... you're beautiful."

Kurt struggles to lift his head weakly from the carpet so he can look down at his own body, whining at the movement. Sebastian's right. He is beautiful. Thick, silvery grey and white fur, glossy and gleaming in the bar of moonlight shining through the window.

He lowers his head to the carpet again as Sebastian shuffles forward and kneels next to him, hands hovering over Kurt's chest like he's afraid to touch him. He gently combs his fingers through the soft, wiry hairs on Kurt's belly, stroking down his leanly muscled leg and back up through the thick fur on his side, mumbling an apology when Kurt growls in protest at him going against the grain.

"Still won't let me mess up your hair," Sebastian mumbles fondly, carefully smoothing down Kurt's ruffled fur. His nostrils flare, eyes rolling back in his head as his hands fist tightly in Kurt's fur.

"God, Kurt, you smell even better like this," he groans. "You know what I mean," he adds with a roll of his eyes when Kurt glares at him, baring his teeth silently. "Like...stronger. Hold on, let me—"

He stands again and Kurt watches mutely as he strips out of his boxers and t-shirt, tossing them aside before stepping back into the moonlight. Kurt barely has time to appreciate how good he looks before he's tilting his head back, eyes flashing brightly and body creaking as he shifts.

It's even more painful to watch now that Kurt knows how it feels, and when Sebastian trots over to him he can't help but crane his neck to lick at the underside of his chin. Sebastian makes a happy little roo-ing sound, his own tongue catching Kurt across the snout. He snuffles at Kurt's neck, nose burying in his fur, and Kurt lets out a content growl, turning his head to nip at Sebastian's ear.

Sebastian licks him again, bumping their noses together and huffing out a sneeze that Kurt has come to learn is akin to laughter. He tries to smile, though he ends up just baring his teeth again, though Sebastian seems to understand well enough, yipping and leaping back, tail wagging furiously. He spins around, snapping at his own tail like he sometimes does for Kurt's amusement, stopping and crouching down on his front paws, tail raised high and tongue hanging out in a playful gesture so full of unbridled happiness Kurt wants to cry at the thought that Sebastian's never had this, never had someone like him around before besides his brief trip to Paris.

Sebastian snaps his jaws gleefully before turning on the spot and curling up at Kurt's side, resting his chin on Kurt's chest and squirming a little on the spot as he gazes up at him, like he's still not over the fact that Kurt's shifted—though Kurt's not entirely over it himself.

Kurt looks back at him and Sebastian's eyes soften into something tender and attentive, paw coming up to flop gently alongside his head on Kurt's midsection. He lifts his head a little and lets out a low howl that sends a pleasant shiver down Kurt's spine. He looks at Kurt, who roos softly in reply, and buries his chin a little deeper in Kurt's fur with a content sigh, knowing that Kurt understood exactly what he was saying.

Mate.


End file.
